My Guardian
by DuskyGurl
Summary: Rose is an Ozera and Dimitri her guradian. Graduation and all goes as planned, but what happens when they arrive at the Court and find destruction? What decision does Dimitri make for Rose and what'll happen bewtween them? Where will they go?-NEW SUMMARY
1. My Best Friend

**Okay, so I need a break on everything I've been writing…I don't know if this will turn into something or just be some kind of one-shot, but after reading a few, I kind of wanted to try one myself…**

**Rose is a royal Moroi. Dimitri her guardian. Need I say more? **

"Okay, seriously?" I questioned Lissa.

She just looked at me, her jade green eyes hypnotizing. "Don't use compulsion on me!" I snapped

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. Calm down."

I flopped back down on my bed and sighed. Today was the day before graduation and I was supposed to be in a good mood. Not happening so far. Lissa Dragomir, my best friend, was doing me a favor and keeping me company from my thoughts of _him. _

We were both in my room, just planning on what to wear for graduation tomorrow. Lissa had chosen a nice baby blue dress that really brought out her green eyes. I had chosen a simple, but sexy black dress that hugged my body, showing off unusual curves. Unusual for a Moroi, that is.

I was Rosemarie Ozera. My brother was Christian Ozera, and happened to be dating my best friend Lissa. Lissa and Christian had their guardians, and then there was mine….Dimitri Belikov. Hot, sexy, badass Russian.

I was absolutely positively sure I had a major crush on him which started to develop when I first met him. I never admitted it to anyone, even Lissa. We were as close as sisters. As close as friends could get. What was also unusual about me was that I controlled the element spirit like Lissa did.

Let me tell you, it shocked everyone that I wasn't a fire user like my brother and my Aunt Tasha. My parents had long since been dead, seeing as how they willingly turned Strigoi and tried to kill Tasha to take Christian and awaken him when he was older.

I was so, so little at the time and understood nothing, but the death scene of the guardians coming in and staking my parents, was still fresh in my mind, no doubt scarred in Christian's as well since he was older than me at the time. I looked up to him when I was younger and now I started looking up to Tasha like she was my own mom.

After that incident, we were both rushed to the safety of the Academy where we've been since as long as I could remember…

"Um, Rose, it's almost curfew and no doubt Guardian Alto is on duty," she warned, clearly wary of Stan, one of the guardians.

I sighed. "Okay, go ahead."

She shot me a worried look. "Rose…I want to talk to you about something tomorrow morning when I get here, okay?" Her gaze was penetrating and I found myself looking away.

"There's nothing to talk about," I replied with a harsh tone.

The door, which was ajar, closed and Lissa's eyes widened at my response. "So, there _is _something…"

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Lissa, I can't tell you everything on my mind."

Lissa was by my side in an instant. "Oh, Rose, I'm your friend. If there's something you want to say, say it now. I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me."

I realized just how lucky I was to have such a wonderful best friend who was there for me. I felt kind of guilty since I knew she was planning on meeting up with my brother as soon as the guardians made their rounds around the Moroi dorms. I didn't want her to sacrifice something she looked forward to.

I kept my head down as I mumbled, "Don't you have plans with Christian?"

She hugged me tight. "Don't worry about those plans. My best friend needs me and I'm not going to ditch her for some guy. Even if we are dating, it does not give me an excuse to abandon you."

I decided it was now or never and I was about to open my mouth and pour everything out to her when someone knocked lightly on the door. A couple quick raps, but still someone, nonetheless. I glanced at the clock. Shit. It was already past curfew and both Lissa and I could get busted if she was found in my room still.

I looked around frantically, but there was nowhere for her to hide and she looked almost afraid. Stan wasn't exactly a mean guardian, but he and I weren't really on the best of terms. I had him for a class, and ended up getting kicked out so, so many times.

Moroi were training alongside the dhampirs to fight if we chose. Of course everyone wanted to be like the guardians and dhampirs, but that didn't mean we could exactly fend for ourselves if Strigoi came after us, which was why we still required guardians' protection.

Lissa had stood up and looked warily at the door. I stepped in front of her, ready to defend her if it was Stan. But when I opened the door, the last person I expected to see was standing there, tall, dark, and imposing.

I folded my arms as Lissa stammered out a "Guardian Belikov."

I rolled my eyes as his eyes searched us briefly. Yet, when he spoke, I felt like I could listen to him talk all day with his sexy Russian accent…_Shit, Rose stop thinking about that! _I scolded myself.

"Princess Dragomir should be in her room, Rose," he remarked.

I didn't answer, but Lissa did. "Of course. I was on my way…"

I could tell she was going to add more, but thought best of it. Dimitri obviously saw through it as well. His stern gaze went to me. I refused to break under the intensity, and met his gaze unfalteringly. He had been my assigned guardian now and we were on a first name basis. Still, it didn't change my snarky attitude.

"Lissa and I were just discussing graduation tomorrow and lost track of time," I announced.

He arched an eyebrow and I knew he didn't fully buy it. It didn't sound very convincing to me, either. "Curfew was half an hour ago. Princess Dragomir, you should be in your room by now. And Rose, you should know better."He chastised us.

Lissa looked up. "Sorry. Don't blame Rose, she didn't do anything. I should be the one who gets in trouble." She kept her head held high and my jaw nearly fell open at her boldness.

"Lissa!" I exclaimed. "Don't listen to her, she's delusional."

She glared at me and we started arguing. Dimitri said nothing for a while before he held up his hand, telling us to shut up. We both looked at him and I could see a soft look in his eyes, though his face betrayed nothing.

I tried to read his aura, but it was confusing. I was taken aback by the mixed colors, but decided it was nothing.

"You're just lucky it was me who caught you and not Guardian Alto."

"Yeah, yeah, get to the point, Comrade," I snapped.

His eyes hardened just the slightest. "If you two manage to stay out of trouble until the end of graduation tomorrow, then you won't be punished."

Whoa, whoa, whoa did I just hear him right? Did he say that we weren't going to be punished? This was turning into one hell of a night…

**So, should I continue? This ch. Is kinda slow, but it's long for those of you who like. XD**

**SONGS:**

**Lost track…**


	2. Graduation Is Here

My alarm clock was going off, but I was sound asleep. For once, Adrian Ivashkov had stayed out of my dreams and I didn't have to talk to him. I had my thoughts all to myself and I could dream without it being interrupted.

Sure he wanted to date me, but I just couldn't. Not while I was crushing majorly on someone else. God, why did things have to be so complicated? Adrian was actually a nice guy and I flirted with him and being the big flirt he was, flirted back with me….

I sighed and finally opened my eyes, finding that my alarm clock was still blaring at me. One arm was slung over the edge of the bed and my head was right by my table. Blinking, I lifted myself up and slammed my fist down onto the snooze button, shutting it up for now.

I got up, wrapping a robe around myself as I gathered my clothes and a towel, stepping outside and into the bathrooms. I found a private shower cubicle in the back and dropped my things in the cubby in the wall, shutting the curtains and stepping into a hot shower.

The hot water loosened my tense muscles and soothed my nerves. I stretched properly, and that, combined with soothing hot water, felt like utter heaven. I didn't know how long I was in there, but I heard Lissa's voice ring out in the bathroom.

"Oh, Rose!" she sang happily. "Where are you? We still need to get dressed!"

Oh, shit. I still needed to do my makeup and my hair. I turned the water off and wrapped the towel around my dripping frame poking my head out to find Lissa waiting for me. She crossed her arms expectantly. I shot her a sheepish grin and ducked back into the shower cubicle, snatching my clothes and slipping them over me after I was dry.

I wrapped my hair in the towel and hoped to God it would dry fast enough as I rushed back into my room where Lissa was waiting. She was already working on her makeup, putting n a coat of mascara over her eye lashes, adding a smudge of eye liner to her eyes.

I walked in and closed the door. "Hey, how much time do we have?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, actually. Look at the clock and you tell me."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to bother."

With that I pulled out my own makeup and dress, deciding that would be for the after party. I put on something else for graduation. I picked out a nice red top and some dressy jeans. Lissa was already in her graduation outfit. She was dressed in a purple skirt and a pretty white sweater. It suited her really well and I felt a pang of jealously at her natural beauty.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts as a familiar voice yelled out, "Is everyone dressed in there?"

"Yes, Christian. Although I would think you'd like to just barge in and see your girlfriend naked!" I snickered.

Lissa's cheeks turned pink and Christian came in. "Yeah, and see my own sister naked? Uh, I don't think so," he remarked dryly.

That sent me into a fit of laughter. When he went over and kissed Lissa hello, I snickered again and called out, "Ew, please you guys, get a freaking room already!"

Both of them glared at me and I went back to attempting to get my hair dry and decent before I went over to the mirror and did my makeup. I swept mascara on my eye lashes, ran eyeliner over my eyes and brushed on some lightly colored eye shadow.

"Damn it, Rose hurry up. We're going to be late!" said Christian half an hour later.

I just looked at him. "Oh, now you're worried about being late? Jesus Christ. Hypocrite."

He glared at me and I waggled my fingers in his direction. I finished with my hair at last and it was time to leave. He, of course, escorted Lissa while I walked behind them, making sure to stay a good distance back so I wouldn't have to deal with their lovey dovey crap.

Someone fell into step beside me and I was astonished to find it was Dimitri. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and I forced myself to calm down. Even if he was hot and good looking, he was my guardian. We both had reputations to uphold.

"Why are you here?" I asked sulkily

He gave me a sidelong glance. "Why shouldn't I be?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Don't you have something better to do than constantly watch me?"

"Actually, no."

"Figures," I muttered.

He didn't question me or say anything else. When we reached the gym, he opened the door for me like the gentleman he was. I stepped in and found the Moroi sitting by families. I spotted Christian sitting by himself and I joined him, looking back briefly to find Dimitri leaning against the wall like the other guardians, arms folded.

I was anxious, nervous. I was tense as the line of Moroi received their diplomas and found out who was guarding them. Finally, it was Lissa's turn and I perked up when I saw my best friend walk gracefully up the stage to receive her diploma.

"Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, Eddie Castile and Mason Ashford will be your guardians."

Mason and Eddie were two dhampirs who went here and they were my friends. WE had some classes together and I knew Lissa was in good hands from when I saw them train. The line went on and on, winding down and down until it was Christian's turn.

I droned them out, getting nervous by the moment. I wasn't exactly sure who was his guardian and I knew the Ozera's would only get one because of our reputation and because there was a shortage of guardians, which was why the Moroi were also learning how to fight

Fortunately, the Queen had adapted to having Moroi fight. It was actually amazing since I like to call her Queen Bitch sometimes, but not out loud of course or to her face. A giggle almost escaped my lips. I was still nervous and suddenly my name was being called.

"Princess Rosemarie Ozera, your guardian is Dimitri Belikov."

**THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! You guys are seriously amazing.**


	3. A Wild Night With Vodka

The after party was supposed to be a blast and I rushed up to my room to get changed. Lissa was with me and we eagerly got into our dresses, making sure our makeup held, and were off to Adrian's room. Of course, it was supervised, and guess who one of the guardians on duty was?

"What's he doing here?" I muttered to Lissa.

She looked at me. "Rose, be nice. He's your official guardian."

I rolled my eyes, something I did a lot. I walked over to where Eddie and Mason were waving at us. I saw Jesse Zeklos there as well, with a few of the Royal Moroi and some dhampir friends. I snatched a cup of vodka and sauntered over to where everyone was. Lissa looked sort of out place, refusing vodka and taking a cup full of beer instead.

There was loud music blaring and at the moment could hear "Keeps Getting' Better" by Christina Aguilera. I started moving my stuff as I made my way over to the group. Lissa followed and I turned around, grabbing her hands and urging her to let go like she used to and have fun.

She looked hesitant, but started getting into the groove of things. Jesse Zeklos came up to me, smirking. I just watched him, my body moving suggestively against his. His hands grabbed my body and he started moving with me. I was getting excited since this was the first time I had actually had "fun" coming here to the Academy.

"You look hot," Jesse whispered into my ear.

I just smiled at him. The song changed into "I Don't Wanna Be in Love" by Good Charlotte. My eyes widened and I was tense. My eyes quickly flicked over to Dimitri. He was watching me and arched an eyebrow. Giving him a flirty smile, I turned back and found Adrian waiting for his chance to dance with me.

We danced together, not like I had with Jesse. Not slow dancing, though. "This is nice," I said.

"Sure is," he replied.

After the song ended, I broke away and found Lissa with Christian. They were both talking to a bunch of people. It made me to see her happy, but I also felt a pang. I used to be the center of attention, until the last Dragomir and Ozera started dating. That was definitely good gossip and all.

Not that I minded. I gulped down more vodka, hoping it was strong enough to get my mind off everything, especially Dimitri….Dimitri….I tossed the empty cup aside and walked over to the make shift bar, grabbing two more cups. The bar was unattended at the moment so I snuck a third.

I gulped down one of the three, throwing that away and then making a face when the taste caught up to me. It was the cheap kind of vodka, the kind I didn't like. It was still vodka, so I drank the rest of the contents, tossing the rest of the cups away and staggering over to Adrian.

He was busy talking to some Moroi. He glanced at me. "Hey, Adrian, you brought the cheap vodka. I need some real vodka, not the cheap kind," I complained to him.

He excused himself and threw and arm around my waist. "Anything for you, Rose."

We walked over to the bar and I sat on a stool while he dug through his mini fridge. He pulled out a bottle and handed it to me. Out the corner I could see Dimitri shaking his head, looking pissed. Damn it. Not again. The point was to forget about him.

"Thank you, Adrian, I owe you," I chimed sweetly.

He grinned at me and then left. I held the bottle and placed it to my lips. I hopped off the bar stool and decided to sit in a nice quiet corner since my head was already pounding like hell. Grimacing, I took another swig out of the bottle. I clutched it to me, not wanting people to really question where I got it.

I found a spot that was somewhat isolated and the music was muted. Sighing happily, I sat down and started to drink the rest of the contents. Well I tried to, until I was interrupted.

"What do you think you're doing?" The sexy accent I would know everywhere…

"Shit," I swore.

He looked at me disapprovingly. "Watch you language."

I glared at him. "No. I don't have to."

His intense eyes studied me, roaming briefly before settling back on my face. I felt embarrassed to be caught by him and slightly worried about what he would think…No, no, no! I didn't care about what _anyone _thought about me! Why should I care what he thought?

"You should at least watch what you're drinking. That stuff isn't made for young girls like you," if it wasn't him, I would say he was sneering.

"Oh, yeah, how do you know?" I shot back, hoping he'd falter.

Yeah. I wished. "Because it's Russian vodka and it's made for people much older than you."

I held the bottle close to me and in just to irritate him, took another long drink. "I'm not a little kid, Dimitri. I know what this stuff is."

His gaze was still hard as he grabbed my hand, extending it with the bottle. My eyes widened. "Hey!" I shouted at him. "Get your hands off me!"

He took the bottle and leaned back, sniffing it. "I was right," he muttered. "Did you know that Ivashkov spiked your drink?"

That made me stop and think for a moment. "How…How would you know? I was watching him the whole time!"

His face didn't change and I decided he had on his "guardian mask". "Because you were already drunk from the effects of the other vodka you were drinking. Actually, it was the same kind as this, only made _weaker _for a_ reason." _

Why would Adrian do such a thing? But, I had asked for something stronger to forget about Dimitri, until he decided to show up. I felt angry tears stinging my eyes. I was shocked to find that I was on the verge of crying, but I guess some part of me hated how he talked to me and how he sounded so disappointed.

I looked up at him. Already my vision swam, but it had nothing to do with the tears. Damn vodka. My head throbbed and everything hurt like hell.

"Lissa…I…need her…" I mumbled.

He seemed surprised by my change of attitude, but stood up and left. I wasn't sure if he even was going to get her. He was probably just going to teach me a lesson. As soon as I thought that, he came back with Lissa behind him.

She looked at me and gasped. "Rose!"

I offered a weak smile. "Sorry," I whispered.

"Let's go back upstairs. You still need to pack."

I tried to stand on my own, but I ended up leaning on Lissa, unable to see straight. She wasn't strong enough to support me all the way and Dimitri seemed to sense this. He walked over and gently lifted me up in his arms, which was the last thing I remembered before I passed out.

**Yay! You guys are seriously the best! Two chapters and like 20 reviews…Jesus, you guys like it that much? XD Not that I'm complaining. Here's another chapter and slightly longer than the rest because I felt like it. xD**

**SONGS:**

**Until the End/Evil Angel/Dance With The Devil-Breaking Benjamin.**


	4. Waking Up

I woke up, my head still throbbing and my arm thrown across my eyes. I blinked and moved it, pressing my fingers to my temples. I was in my own bed, fortunately, and the events came rushing back at me, slamming against my head a making it hurt worse.

"Ouch," I muttered.

Suddenly, a glass of water was presented in front of me. I startled, making a sudden move which made my head hurt even worse. But, when the person spoke, I knew exactly, all too well who it was.

"Drink this and you should feel better soon," the accented voice told me.

I blinked once more and glanced over to where Dimitri was standing. I slowly sat up, and for once, not bitching, took the glass gratefully and carefully sipped it. It was nice cold water, but I could taste something else in it. Aspirin. He had let the pill dissolve in the water so I wouldn't have to force anything down my throat.

"Make sure you drink it all," Dimitri prompted me.

I kept it in my hands and then carefully tilted it back to my lips, taking another sip, and then another, and more until it was nearly gone. Yet, that was when my stomach was telling me it couldn't deal with anymore. I pulled it away and gasped out, "No more."

He leaned over and took the glass away from me with surprisingly gentleness. I studied my room which was bare and found several boxes and a couple of suitcases all packed.

Dimitri, noticing my look, explained. "Lissa came over for a while, while you were passed out and packed your clothes. I told her to go get some rest since we're leaving soon and I packed everything else."

I was more awake now. "Oh…um...thanks…I guess," I stammered.

He gave me a small smile. "Maybe you'll stay away from the Russian vodka." He teased me, and then rethought his words. "Or any kind of strong vodka."

A nervous laugh escaped my lips. "I don't think so, Comrade. I've just never had Russian vodka before, that's all."

He looked around and then glanced at his watch. "I'm sure Lissa's waiting for you right now on the plane. Why don't you get dressed and I'll meet you outside."

For some reason, I didn't want him to go. I felt a special connection towards him. I felt like he was more than just my guardian…And I suddenly knew that it wasn't a crush I had on him. He kept me in line. He took care of me multiple times. He was there for me. He was much more than some guardian. He put up with my snarky attitude and everything, never once judging me.

"Don't leave. Stay," I whispered.

He regarded me curiously, and then understanding flashed in his eyes. "Rose," his voice sounded slightly strangled.

I quickly cut in. "Just wait outside, that's all, please."

I saw him battling out his duty and something else…"Alright," he finally said. "I'll be outside the door."

He turned and left without another word and I was left there feeling the horrible effects of the hang over and alone with my thoughts. I slowly stood up and hunted around my room before I found some clothes that were neatly folded, waiting for me. I sighed and picked them up.

A simple T-shirt and some jeans. I shrugged out of the clothes I had slept in and into the fresh, new clothes. I found my toothbrush and hairbrush, deciding to take care of those first and then pack them away. I thought for sure Dimitri had something better to do and wasn't waiting, but to my surprise, he was still waiting, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

He looked slightly surprised as I walked by with my hair and toothbrush. I got into the bathroom and dropped my things onto the counter. I picked up my toothbrush and started on the easiest, fastest thing: my teeth. I studied my reflection in the mirror, glad I had brought along my makeup bag as well, because I really needed it.

After brushing my teeth, I pulled my hair back neatly, deciding it was better to pull it up since it was a mess. I combed it out a bit, but it wouldn't cooperate and I didn't have time. I set my comb aside and started on my makeup, only applying it lightly. I stepped back and admired my work, satisfied with it and then repacking everything back up.

I was about to turn and leave when someone knocked on the door. "Rose? Are you almost done? We need to get going." Dimitri.

I shouted back, "Yeah, I'm coming."

I took one last look around and then proceeded to the door and back to my bedroom. Dimitri followed me, occasionally asking if I needed help as I packed the last of my things people haven't touched. I would shake my head and tell him I was perfectly fine with doing it myself.

Now, I stood up and surveyed the mess of boxes and a couple of bags. I didn't exactly have all the strength in the world like the dhampirs to pick everything up, except for my couple of bags. My lower lip pushed out as I thought about it, something I did without realizing it sometimes.

Dimitri saw my gaze and said, "Take your bags, I'll get the boxes."

I glanced up at him in surprise. "You don't have to."

A small smile titled his lips up and I was transfixed on his face, how it transformed…. "It's part of my job. I don't mind."

I was tired, but naturally my fighting side came out. "No way. I can handle these!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Let's see then."

I glared at him and then strode over to the boxes, picking up one and then stacking it on another and then another until I had three of them stacked up. I picked them up, but struggled and nearly fell over if he hadn't been behind me, ready to help me up. Frustrated, I kicked at the damn boxes wondering why I couldn't be as strong as the dhampirs. I kicked one more time and was about to unleash the full force of my temper with my fist, when a hand pulled it back.

"Don't do anything stupid, Rose," he said softly.

I turned and saw that his face was incredibly close to mine. I wanted so bad to kiss him, but I wasn't sure how he would react and I knew it would only make things utterly awkward between us. I blew out a breath and I turned, grabbing my bags while Dimitri hoisted up the boxes in his arms and we set out to the jet, on our way to the Royal Court.

**Huh. Again, not the best chapter, but it's still one, nonetheless. Enjoy. ^.^**

**SONGS:**

**Goodbye-Kristina DeBarge**

**Dance With The Devil-Breaking Benjamin**

**On Your Own-Green River Ordinance**

**Wildflower-Janedear Girls**


	5. Dimitri's Surprise

On the plane, I sat by Lissa, of course. Mason and Eddie had joined us eagerly and were talking to Christian. Lissa soon joined in the conversation and cuddled closer to Christian. I felt a pang of jealousy towards the happy couple, but was happy for the both of them. I sighed and made an excuse to get out.

I wasn't sure what the problem was, but everyone seemed to have someone to talk to, except me. Mason and Eddie had one another. And then my brother and Lissa also. Everyone but me was paired up somehow someway. I walked to the back of the jet and found a private spot. Dimitri, I saw was also back here, reading a book. He was the only one I felt like I could rely on, so I plopped down in the seat next to him.

He glanced up in astonishment. "Rose?" he questioned. "What are you doing back here?"

I shrugged, not answering him. He just looked at me, before finally getting up and disappearing. _Great, _I thought. _Now who can I trust? I guess he doesn't like me. _But that thought vanished when he reappeared, sliding back into his seat, unfolding the tray and placing some food on it. My mouth watered at the sight of food. I also needed blood, but decided against it.

"You forgot to eat when we left, I figured you might be hungry," he explained.

"Thanks," I said grudgingly.

I dug into the snack and felt immensely better, well as better as a hangover felt. My stomach was satisfied, but my throat burned with thirst and not for water either. Blood. I didn't want it. Hell, I _needed _it. I rubbed at my throat, grimacing from the burning pain. Suddenly, Dimitri didn't seem that far off from a supply of blood….

…I could just use compulsion and sink my fangs for a quick drink…No! _Jesus Rose, snap out of it!_ I scolded myself. I glanced over at him, hoping he hadn't guessed my thoughts, since he seemed to do that a lot. He was still reading his book and didn't appear to really pay attention to me. I exhaled in relief and slumped back against the seat. It was going to be a long ride.

"Rose. Rose, wake up." Someone was gently shaking me, trying to rouse me.

I blinked sleepily and saw a concerned face leaning over me. My vision was blurred from the hangover, but eventually focused on Dimitri's features. He was watching me with relief on his face. I sat up and saw we were not on the plane anymore, but in a nice room. I winced when I felt a headache from the light and Dimitri saw this.

He walked over to the curtains and pulled them shut, then he switched the lights off. It was light out, meaning it was nighttime for us. I shot up when I realized where we were. Dimitri, however, looked grim. I gave him a quizzical look. "Are we at the Court?" I asked.

He nodded slowly. "We are."

"Then…..Wait…What? How did I get here?" I was confused.

"You were passed out, so I carried you to your room. I was beginning to worry when you wouldn't wake up…" he trailed off, seeing as how I was fine.

"I'm fine," I sighed. "But why are you still here? It's the Royal Court, it's heavily warded."

He didn't hesitate to tell me what was happening. "Apparently, when we arrived here, some of the guardians met us. They explained that there were reports that Strigoi were lurking around here. Not only that, but that humans have been working in groups with them as well. So guardians all posted all over the place and when a Moroi leaves campus, at least three guardians have to accompany for each Moroi."

I was shocked. Three guardians for each Moroi who went out of the safety of the wards? That was kind of extreme. I myself was a Moroi, but it didn't mean I thought all Moroi needed so many guardians, even when we left campus. Dhampir women were pretty rare as guardians, and even the men weren't enough. I was getting frustrated that the Moroi couldn't learn to fight as well as the dhampirs, but it was promised by the Queen that classes would continue inside the court as well as human classes like karate and stuff.

I relayed my thoughts to Dimitri about the whole guardian thing. "It's stupid! It's like the Moroi can't take care of themselves, and we have our magic. It's just plain shit."

For once, he didn't chastise me about my language. "It is," he agreed. "But that's what Moroi do best. They hide behind the guardians and let them handle the dirty work, claiming that using magic for violence isn't the right thing to do….No offense," he added.

"None taken. I agree with you. I want to learn to fight. I want to be strong like you guys. I want to defend myself and the ones I love. It sucks that Moroi aren't built to fight like the dhampirs….But maybe I can use my magic…" the thought sounded wonderful, but it was never allowed and no one knew much about spirit….

Dimitri didn't need to say anything to know what I was thinking. He just watched as I got up and paced the room. I started thinking out loud. "Maybe I can take some of those karate lessons, martial arts, or any of those things. Maybe I can take ask someone to train me in secret. Or—"

"Rose," Dimitri cut in wryly. "How are you going to find someone to train you. And how are you going to get out at night and find a place open as late as our schedule runs?"

As he fired those questions at me, I suddenly felt my triumph deflate. "Damn." It was all I could manage.

Yet, he looked thoughtful. I was still disappointed about the whole training thing, but the look on his face was starting to give me some hope that maybe there was something. I watched him as he finally met my gaze, confidence shining in his eyes.

"I'll train you."

It definitely wasn't what I had in mind. "What?"

A smile curled his lips up. "I said I'll teach you. I'll mentor you like the guardians will sometimes mentor the novices. But, you'll have to risk not getting enough sleep and be prepare to be sore until your body properly adjusts to you fighting so much."

That was such a brilliant idea. I jumped up off the bed and went over, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him. His arms went around my waist, hugging me back. "Thank you," I whispered.

And so, that was the start of my rebellion against the Moroi government.

**Grr. I thought I'd get around to some action, but oh well. Review people, it makes me happy. ^0^**

**SONGS:**

**If We Ever Meet Again-Timbaland ft. Katy Perry**


	6. Sparring With Dimitri

The next day was warm and nice. The sunset was absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately, the Queen had decided that we had to go according to the daylight schedule. So whereas the sunrise was the equivalent of the sunset, it was now vice versa. It was also my time to go and meet Dimitri at one of the gyms. I dressed in loose clothes, feeling nervous and excited.

I slipped out my door quietly, finding that everyone but the guardians were sound asleep. Curfew still applied until things were sorted out with the whole Strigoi/human crisis. If I came face to face with a guardian, I could easily use compulsion.

Spirit users had great compulsion and Lissa had taught me how to make it stronger. I was armed magic wise and was prepared to use it in case I couldn't get by without getting caught. I decided that would be my second choice since I wanted to use all my strength to train with Dimitri.

Fortunately, no one noticed me wandering around, since I kept to the shadows and moved lithely across the campus and to the isolated building that was the gym. There were actually a few, but this one was more isolated so we would lessen the chance of getting caught in a compromising situation.

I pushed open the doors and when I turned my back to make sure they were shut, something grabbed me from behind. A scream built in my throat, but the person clamped a hand over my mouth. It was then I smelled Dimitri's aftershave. It was him attacking me. It was him trying to teach me a lesson.

And sure enough I felt his lips at my ear. "Always be aware of your surroundings," he whispered and then released me, flicking on the lights.

I crossed my arms. "That was so not called for."

A chuckle escaped his lips. "You said you wanted to learn how to fight like the novices, then let's see where you're at."

Without giving me a chance, his fist came towards my face. Instinctively, I blocked it with my arms, crossing them in front of my face. He came again and I knew I would never be able to think fast enough. Quickly, I dodged his attack and let instinct take over. There was no magic involved, I reminded myself.

His fist shot out and grazed my jaw before I made my own move. I lunged at him, my fist making contact with his hand. He started to twist it and I knew somehow if I let him do that, I would go down and he would pin me. Determined to show even though I was a Moroi, I could fight, I twisted my body underneath his arm and kicked out, tentative, not wanting to hurt him.

But that move cost me: I was pinned down instantly. Both Dimitri and I were breathing heavily and his body was covering mine. He released his hold and sat back. Slowly, I pulled myself into a sitting position. I groaned when I realized what had happened.

"What did I do wrong now?" I complained.

"You were hesitant to kick me. If I were Strigoi, you would've been killed, Rose."

I glared at him. "I kind of figured that out."

He smiled. It was a full smile that I had only seen once on his face and boy did it make him look completely and utterly hot and sexy. He looked less guarded and less tense.

"You looked confused when I pinned you," he chuckled.

I made a face at him. "Very funny."

He stood up and offered his hand. I hated being treated like a girl, so I ignored his outstretched hand and attempted to get up. Yet, my body was already worn out from the short fight and my legs buckled underneath me. I would've crashed to the ground if Dimitri hadn't caught and supported me. His hands wrapped around my waist and carefully pulled me up.

I scowled and when I got my legs back under me, pulled away from him. "Damn Moroi genes," I muttered.

I heard him laugh softly. "Maybe you need to condition before we do any sparring."

I turned around and saw him watching me. I crossed my arms. "And how are we going to do that?"

He beckoned me to follow. He led me to the weight room. I almost groaned. You were the one who wanted this, I reminded myself once more. I watched as he demonstrated some of the reps he wanted me to do. Little did he know I was hardly paying attention…

… "Rose?" I snapped out of my trace in watching him. "Do you think you can do it?"

Quickly I tried to recall what he had been showing me. I got the gist of it and nodded slowly. I went over to the weights and he handed me some. They were somewhere in the middle; not too heavy, but not too light.

I attempted to pull off what he had been showing me, but my arms were pretty wimpy. I growled at the stupid weights and tried again. I carefully moved my body with my arms, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dimitri's approving nod. I refused to get distracted by that.

And that was how it went for the rest of our time. After I managed to get the weight stuff down, Dimitri started teaching me some moves when the dhampirs sparred. I copied his moves and absorbed everything he taught me, storing it away with the important stuff I wanted to remember in my mind.

"Good job, Rose," he praised me at the end.

I was hot, sweaty and exhausted. I knew I was going to be so sore tomorrow, but it was worth it. I helped him pick up the equipment we had used and he told me tomorrow if I was still up for it, we'd be running around the track.

It sounded good, but bad at the same time. I realized how long it had been since I had seen a feeder and I felt faint and my vision swam. _Damn it! Not now, please not now! _I begged my body. I walked slowly in the direction of Dimitri, but instead collapsed. I felt fatigue from the hunger and I longed for some water as well. I was hoping I could get up before Dimitri came back out, but of course, nothing worked out in my favor.

I leaned my head back against the wall and vaguely heard Dimitri calling my name worriedly. "Rose, what happened?" he asked softly as he crouched in front of me.

I shook my head, pointing at my water bottle. He understood and got up gracefully, snatching the bottle and pressing it to my lips. "Maybe you should hold off on your practice tomorrow night, Rose."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. I pulled the bottle from my parched lips, trying to talk. "No, I…want to…want to do this," I rasped.

The water had helped a little bit, but not enough. "Rose, how long has it been since you've seen a feeder?" he questioned suddenly.

Shit. He knew. I shrugged, not wanting my voice to crack embarrassingly. He was still watching me and then he sat down beside me. He tilted his head to the side, baring his neck. No. Oh, no no no no! I couldn't do this to him! I couldn't!

"Dimitri," I tried to say.

He wouldn't have it. "You need blood now or you're going to crash, Rose. It's too far to the main building to get you some blood. Either you take it from me or you risk crashing."

He sounded determined to make me drink. So I did. I was hesitant as I leaned down and pierced his skin. He flinched, but was otherwise still and silent while I took some blood from him. I felt immensely better now as his blood worked its way into my system. It tasted sweet and hot at the same time.

I pulled back after closing the bite wounds and turned away, embarrassed and ashamed. It was taboo in our world and I hated to do that to Dimitri. I refused to look at him, staring at the door instead. Tears pricked my eyes. What had I done?

His warm hand moved my face to look at his. I thought he would hate me for it, but instead I saw warmth and compassion in his eyes. "IT's nothing to be ashamed of, Roza," he murmured.

Roza? My name was….Russian. That was it. He called me by my name in Russian. I felt my heart skip a beat and suddenly, I didn't care if I was a Moroi, I didn't care if I had just fed from him, and I didn't care that he was supposed to be my guardian.

I kissed him. On the lips.

**Phew, that was long and I was a freaking roll there. I was afraid it would get long. xD Ooh, what's going to happen between Rose and Dimka?...DUN DUN DUN! *scary music***

**SONGS:**

**Not Ready To Make Nice-Dixie Chicks**

**Move Shake Srop Remix-DJ Laz ft. Flo Rida**

**Desert Rose-Sting**

**If We Ever Meet Again-Timbaland ft. Katy Perry**

**Goodbye-Kristina DeBarge**


	7. Confessions

I was scared when my thoughts caught up with my actions, but I was shocked with Dimitri cupped my face and pulled me closer to his own lips, kissing me back gently. But, before it could escalate into something more, he took a deep breath and pushed my face back away from his.

We sat there for a while, both of our breathing echoing off the walls. I wanted to say something, but all that came out was a mumbled, "Sorry." He didn't answer me and finally, he stood up and helped me up. After drinking from him, I felt better and stronger.

"Dimitri?" I questioned in a small voice as we walked across campus.

He didn't reply at first. But he finally answered me, sounding weary. "Yes, Rose?"

"I'm sorry. About everything…" I muttered.

He still heard me. Looking around, he made sure no one saw us and then grabbed me, pulling me with him in the shadows where no one would see us. He placed his hands on my shoulders and bent his head to look me in the eyes.

I bit my lip and turned away. I felt horrible. What if he didn't feel the same way as I did? What if he was going to reject me right now? Tell me how wrong it was for us? Tell me how he didn't like me that way.

"Save it," I said in a strangled voice. "Save it. I don't want to hear it. I know you don't feel the same way and I'm making a huge fool of myself." I started to get up, but he shoved me back down, his eyes flashing.

"Rose, don't assume anything," he snapped. "What if I said I do feel the same way about you? What if I said you aren't being a fool?"

I was totally and completely shocked. His eyes were blazing with passion and I knew I had to believe him. All this time, I knew how to read people's emotions, yet his were usually closed off. Often, I would see an emotion in his eyes I couldn't place and would wonder. Now, I knew. He did love me back.

"It is true," I breathed.

He nodded. "Yes. But you're my charge. I can't let my love life get in the way of protecting. I need to focus on you and you alone. I do love you and I do feel the same way, but it can't go on. Someone who has some Ozera blood is supposed to be wed to you when you're old enough. I'm just your guardian." He put emphasis on the last part.

I sat stonily, hating the fact that it was true. Aunt Tasha, Christian, and I were basically the last Ozera's and we needed to find someone with some Royal blood for me so we could improve the Ozera line. It sucked big time since I knew Lissa had enough blood and was capable of getting together with Christian. Yet, the person I loved…well he was dhampir and he was my guardian.

Fucking hell, I hated life sometimes. I just wanted to be normal for once. I wanted to be human, or even a dhampir. Not a freaking Moroi who couldn't properly defend herself and constantly needed blood to keep myself from getting…sick in a way, like I had earlier.

Tears started to seep down my cheeks and I angrily swiped at them, not knowing why I was crying. But I was the rejection from him. It was wonderful to know he felt the same way, but it hurt because it was hinting at rejection because of the stupid, twisted world we fucking lived in. I longed to be free and make my own choices.

Aunt Tasha was the one who suggested that Dimitri—a lifelong friend of the family's—to be my guardian. I did meet him a couple times before he actually became my guardian and it was the reason we were so close. No one but Lissa outside the family actually knew that I had basically known Dimitri almost my whole life.

But things started changing when I started to grow up. I became the typical teenager and Dimitri became busy with his guardian duties. For a few years, I didn't see him and I realized that I had missed him some of the time when he wasn't around.

Fresh tears stung the back of my throat at the thought of losing him. He had always been there for me. He was there when my teachers said I hadn't specialized yet and would soon. He was there when people gave me weird looks when I finally told the truth about not specializing in fire, but in spirit, like Lissa. And he was there when I cried and needed a friend.

I sniffed and tried to keep the tears in, but it was too much to hold in and a sob escaped me. Wordlessly, I felt his arms envelope me. I reveled in the comfort I had sought all these years. He held me tight and murmured in Russian to me, knowing I loved it when I listened to his natural language rolling off his tongue.

Maybe there wasn't much hope for a love life between us, but at least there was something. I couldn't make him love me, I couldn't force love. Even if he had admitted it, I couldn't make him act on a relationship no matter how bad I loved him.

I let out a shuddering breath and he pulled me closer before releasing me. He stood up without saying anything and I took his hand. He held it as we walked. To anyone, it would just appear as if he was just comforting me, but we both knew that it was something more. Something different.

Suddenly, as if perfect timing, I remembered some song lyrics in my head that applied to our situation…I whispered sang the words under my breath….

"'_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power. But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't…. Just give me until then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight….'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't…"_

Dimitri said nothing more as he led me to my room. I felt like a little kid with him once more. It was like old times when I needed him and he was around. He was always so kind and so gentle, never once judging me or anything. I loved him and he loved me. But there were obstacles in the way.

He waited to make sure I was alright as I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and changing out of my sweaty clothes. I came back out and settled in bed, pulling the blankets up to me. He came over to me and kissed my forehead softly. He turned to leave, but my next words stopped him.

"Dimitri," I said softly. "Don't leave me."

He turned slowly. His eyes appraised me and I patted the side of the bed, moving to make room for him. I watched his expression change. I knew it was probably a bad decision and he knew it too, but I didn't want him to leave and I wanted his protection, love, and comfort.

Finally, he made up his mind. He sat on the side of the bed, taking his shoes off and settling down beside me for the night.

**Phew. Again, nice long chapter. REVIEW!**

**SONGS:**

**I Can't Make You Love ME-Bonnie Raitt**


	8. The Fight

I stretched and groaned. I recalled last night and my eyes flashed open. I groped around the bed, trying to find him, but I felt nothing. Suddenly, though, my fingers made contact with a piece of paper. I stirred and sat up slowly, picking up the folded up paper and opening it. It was Dimitri's.

_Rose,_

_Stay in your room until further notice. Do NOT come out unless I, or another guardian, come to retrieve you. The Court's under lockdown. My phone is on if you need anything._

_~Dimitri._

I felt fear seize me when it sunk in. The Royal Court under lockdown? Damn, something serious must've happened. I got up from my bed and pulled open the curtains. Guardians were all over the place and they were gathered nearby. I tried to find Dimitri among them, but I could hardly make out who was who.

I saw Hans, who was the head of the guardians at Court, in the middle. He was talking and gesturing around him. I leaned closer to the window, deciding opening it up wouldn't hurt to hear what they were saying. Thanks to my enhanced senses, I could just barely make out what they were saying.

"They're around here somewhere and we don't know where," said Hans. "We either need to keep under lockdown or have people go out a track them. The wards aren't safe for anyone anymore."

"But, if the guardians decided to go out, who will all stay here to watch the Moroi. We do have to protect them," another guardian pointed out.

"Not only that, but the Strigoi need to be taught a lesson. And it would be an experience to have the top Moroi in the fighting classes to come out and help us stake the Strigoi."

I knew that voice. I would know it anywhere. Chills ran down my spine hearing his tone so formal and clipped. The voice I knew would usually bring comfort or teach me my lesson or something. Never had I heard the protective guardian side of him when he was with the others on a mission.

Hans looked a little appalled at Dimitri's statement. "Er, um, is that really necessary?" he questioned.

But instead of Dimitri answering I saw someone else step forward. Aunt Tasha. "I'm Moroi. I may be an Ozera and many of you may be hostile towards me still, but listen. Guardian Belikov has a point. I think the Moroi need to stand up for themselves. Look at us! We're all just standing here arguing on what to do instead of taking action!" she exclaimed.

That was Aunt Tasha. Fierce and ready to fight. Though how she got down there, I didn't know. I wanted to go down there myself, but I knew Dimitri would be mad as hell if I tried anything. I watched as a few more remarks were made and then the group started to disperse. Only a few guardians and Aunt Tasha and Dimitri remained. Unfortunately, I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I knew I was going to go insane sitting around in my room all day, waiting for someone to give me the okay that everything was going back to normal. I knew Dimitri would be pissed and all, but I didn't care. I took one more glance at him and Aunt Tasha and then shut my curtains, looking around for the stake Dimitri had given me if I ever needed to protect myself.

It was nestled away in a safe, but accessible place: Under my mattress. I lifted my mattress up, ignoring my sore muscles and pulling out my stake, slipping it beside me on the floor, next taking out the sheath for it. I leaned down and remembered I should probably get dressed before I did anything.

I yanked on some clean clothes that were comfortable, flexible, and easy to work in. It was a simple tank top, though the day was chilly. I then decided that the sheath for my stake was too noticeable and could get in the way. I unstrapped it and then an idea dawned on me. I needed some weapons in case something went horribly wrong. I had some knives and such stowed away in my room like my stake.

I quickly found my weapons in my closet and strapped a couple of knives to the inside of my legs, pulling the pant legs down over them. I walked around, testing the weight, and if it would cut me or not. It worked perfect and I took my stake, curling my fingers around the hilt, knowing I had to get out and prove to myself and others that Moroi _could _fight and were capable of everything the dhampirs could do.

I was extremely nervous when I slipped outside the window, pressing against the wall so I would appear inconspicuous. Fortunately, everyone who had gathered around earlier were gone and I could make an easy escape down the wall. It took years to master, but I could climb down the walls no problem now.

My head swiveled around at every sound. I moved stealthily almost like a dhampir. I stuck to the shadows and realized that absolutely no one out and about. It sort of scared me, but it also gave me new hope and confidence. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be just as badass as Dimitri and all the other guardians. I wanted to prove that I was no stupid Moroi who didn't know how to protect herself and hid behind the guardians like everyone else did.

But, the main thing I wanted to prove was to Dimitri that I was strong, that I wasn't weak and he didn't have to constantly worry about me. I patted my legs to make sure the knives and the gun were still there. Don't ask how I got the gun. Let's just say I have skills at performing tasks for myself that involve taking things that don't belong to me, and getting into situations that aren't exactly called for.

A noise to my right signaled that it wasn't just the wind. There was someone else here. A Strigoi. I closed my eyes briefly and opened up my other sense, letting myself taste the air, smell it, get a feel at who was lurking. IT was definitely a Strigoi. I opened my eyes and I found red ones staring back at me. His lips were curled back in a chilling, menacing grin. I felt a trickle of fear, but held my ground, clutching the stake tighter.

When he spoke, he sounded normal, save for the cold tone. "Ah, a delicious Moroi. What brings you out here all alone, sweetheart? Shouldn't you hide behind those dhampirs, what do you call them? Ah, yes, _guardians," _he sneered.

Shit. I saw more shapes and knew I was trapped. I would have to rely on my brief training with Dimitri and the rest of the training to get me through this. I sent up a silent prayer to whoever was listening, hoping I could make it back alive and tell Dimitri. IT was unlikely, but I had to do it. My mind flashed to the gun and I pulled it out, holding it in front of me.

It would kill them, but it could hopefully cause pain and a distraction. The Strigoi moved closer. Too close. I fired off a shot, bracing for the kick. I heard grunts and a snarl and saw that the Strigoi was still there as if nothing happened. Crap, this guy was ancient. He would hardly feel a thing. Another, younger Strigoi came up and grabbed my hair, tilted my neck roughly. I couldn't help let loose a cry of pain as my neck moved into a very uncomfortable position.

With the strength left, I lifted the gun and fired off a few more shots, smiling grimly when I heard the Strigoi that had hold of my hair let go and hiss in pain. I quickly placed the gun in the holster and took out the silver knives and stake. Yes, silver would definitely cause harm to them. Not only that, but I had infused the knives with spirit. It was charmed, it was Moroi magic, and it would hurt a lot for them.

I lashed out blindly, stumbling around. My eyes were on the ancient guy, but I kept alert for the others. He laughed coldly and I knew I had no effect on him. Damn it. I leaped up and the fight began. The others waited while I fought him. It was only halfway through that I realized that they were waiting for me to wear down. I hadn't seen a feeder yet and I hadn't eaten anything. I was going to weaken now.

Sure enough, he swiped my stake out of my hands. I collapsed on the ground and knew it was the end. He kicked me and I whimpered, willing myself to stay awake, to stay strong, and think of Dimitri. His fangs grazed my neck, drawing blood. I could hear the other Strigoi sigh as the scent of my fresh Moroi blood reach their noses.

No. This couldn't be the end. The ancient Strigoi was talking to the others and they all seemed entranced by his words. I quickly recovered and got to my feet, taking both knives and stabbing the guy. He screamed in agony and I watched as he reached for me. I stepped back and snatched my stake, about to stake him when it was ripped out of my hands.

I faced a female Strigoi and she laughed cruelly. "You little bitch. Did you really think it was that easy? Did you really think you could win without your guardians?" She grabbed my hair and yanked my head up painfully. "Did you really think you could rely on your tools to attack immortal beings?"

I spat at her. "Let. Go. You. Fucking. Bitch."

I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoping someone, anyone would come to my rescue. I struggled and kicked, lashing out as she tried to get her fangs into my neck. I screamed and tears streamed out from my eyes. I could feel my head spin and everything blurred. I was losing too much blood.

I vaguely heard yelling, shouting, and then I was on the ground. "Roza, come on, wake up." I recognized the voice.

I squinted. "Dimitri?" I asked hoarsely.

But he didn't answer. I watched him stand up, stake flashing in his hand. I turned my head and saw the female Strigoi who had just had hold of me lunge at him. I screamed as I watched them struggle. My heart was racing and I knew I was helpless. They were almost evenly matched. Until she had enough.

Her fangs went to his neck and his eyes went wide. His hands went slack and the stake fell. It all happened so fast. Panicked, I grabbed the stake as I watched her drain the life from Dimitri. I focused my eyes and saw that everyone was too busy to notice us yet. I was too weak to get up.

Sobs caught in my throat as I watched his body go slack as well and he dropped to the ground. I screamed his name and sobbed, anger fueling me and I got to my feet while she was still drinking. I knew she was almost done and would turn him since that was how they sometimes worked.

I curled my fingers once more around the stake and then with full force jabbed her back, twisting the stake in. She cried out, dropping Dimitri and clawing at me. I kept twisting and turning until I I heard her no more. I dropped the bloody stake and crawled over to Dimitri.

He was dead. He was really dead. I sobbed harder and harder. He couldn't be dead! He just couldn't be dead! I cradled his head in my lap and I suddenly knew what I had to do. I had to heal him.

**God, over 2,000 words. I think I'll start making the chapters that long. XD This is the longest yet! Well, enjoy and REVIEW please! ~_^**

**SONGS:**

**Truth Beneath The Rose-Within Temptation**

**Second Chance-Shinedown**

**I Don't Care-Fall Out Boy**

**Fix Me-Coldplay**

**Give ME a Sign/I Will Not Bow/Until the End/Dance With The Devil-Breaking Benjamin**


	9. The New Discovery

I thought for sure when everything wound down, I was in huge trouble. Fortunately, there were more important things to tend to. Like Dimitri. I had healed him before any of the other guardians could touch him. Using so much magic to save the one I loved really took its toll on me. Not to mention, I was already weak from fighting the Strigoi before they showed up. Hans made sure I was in my room and would stay there for a while.

Word was that all the other Strigoi fled the scene and were nowhere in sight. That was good news for everyone. The Court was no longer in lockdown and Lissa had promised me she would check up on Dimitri for me frequently. It cheered me up a little, but I was still depressed. If I hadn't gone out and been so freaking stupid, none of this would've ever happened and Dimitri would be alright.

A knock on my door broke me out of my thoughts and I flew to the door eagerly opening it. Lissa was standing there and smiled sadly. My first thought was that Dimitri wasn't okay. I let her in and then shut the door securely, locking it behind us. She sat on my bed and I beside her.

"Lissa," I finally said. "Is everything alright?"

Her smiled turned wry. "I'm perfectly fine. And yes, Dimitri's recovering nicely. He's still asleep. But you, on the other hand. How are you holding up?"

I was bruised all over and I hurt real bad. But I wasn't going to mention that. "I'm fine. Hungry, but fine."

She chuckled. "Of course you're always hungry. But, guess what? You can go see a feeder and get a meal. Then I'll take you to see Dimitri."

I looked at her. "I'm not supposed to come out of my room…."

Her smile turned less angelic. "That's why I convinced them that you need something to eat and then I promised I would take you straight back afterwards. But I'm sure we can visit Dimitri…"

I jumped up and pulled her up with me, hugging her tightly. I thanked her again and again until she laughed and led me outside. We walked over to where the feeders were and I signed in quickly. When my name was called, I eagerly walked over to where the Moroi lady in charge led me. This time I got a younger guy. He didn't seem dazed, so I was his first for the day.

I sat down on the chair beside him. He gave me a wink and I rolled my eyes, sinking my fangs gently in his neck. The blood tasted rich and amazing after everything I had been through. I reminded myself to finish up so I could see Dimitri. I leaned back finally and then got up. Lissa was waiting eagerly.

"Let's go see Dimitri. I'm not hungry," I told her.

She agreed and we walked quietly down the corridor. We snuck into the infirmary and I was glued to Lissa's side, not wanting people to see me. She led me to one of the doors farther down and knocked softly. She poked her head in. She turned to me.

"He's asleep…" she looked uncertain.

I smiled. "Don't worry. Do you think you can stand guard for a bit?"

She nodded and I slipped into the room. It was dark, but not too dark. The lights were dim, but I could see perfectly fine. Dimitri was lying in the bed, sound asleep. His neck was bandaged and I saw bruises and cuts healing on his face. He was still fully dressed, which was kind of a shame. It gave me no excuse to look at her perfect body…

I shook my head, reminding myself that I was here to visit, not to stay. I gently stroked my fingers across his face. I kept this up, using magic little by little, sending it to him to heal the cuts and bruises. I placed both hands on either side of his face and was about to use the rest of it, when his hands came up and pulled them away gently.

"Rose," he said softly. "Don't waste your magic on me. I'll heal."

Hearing his voice made fresh tears start up in my eyes. "I already did," I reminded him.

I moved my head and saw him watching me. We said nothing more for a while and I sat on the edge of his bed, feeling awkward and tense. His hands went around my waist and he pulled me down to him, massaging my shoulders gently. A sigh left my lips.

"Should I be the one taking care of you?" I teased half heartedly.

A small smile touched his lips. "No. I believe you're in bad shape as well. And I thought you were supposed to be up in your room."

I scowled. "I keep saying I'm fine. No one believes me. Lissa snuck me down here after seeing the feeders."

He smiled, eyes closing. "Of course she did," he murmured quietly.

I figured I was tiring him out and felt a bit guilty. I got up, but his next words chilled me to the bone. "Rose, stop feeling so guilty. I will never get tired of you."

I gasped and turned slowly. "Dimitri…"

He looked at me levelly. "You healed me from the dead. You brought me back with your magic. I'm bonded to you. Shadow kissed as you call it."

I couldn't move. I was shocked. "Seriously?" I whispered.

He nodded and then winced, leaning back heavily against the pillows. "Yes, Roza. I'm serious."

I found my body again and walked over to him. I leaned down hesitating. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted it bad. But I wasn't sure if he would appreciate it. Of course he knew what I was pretty much thinking and his eyes flashed open, alert despite his condition. He appraised me for a moment before grabbing my face and pressing my lips to his.

I was pretty surprised, but complied happily. One hand twined in my hair while the other cupped my face. The kiss heated up and I pressed harder into him. His tongue slipped into my mouth and met mine. A thrill went through me and I pulled his face closer to mine, pressing my lips on his harder, hungrier. He didn't pull back, didn't do anything but kiss me back. My lips molded to the shape of his. When I broke away to breathe, he pulled me on top of him and kissed my neck softly.

His hands roamed down and played with the hem of my shirt. I could tell he was about to take it a step further, when Lissa rapped on the door urgently. "Rose, someone's going to suspect something. Let's go!" I lifted my head, breathless.

Then I looked down at Dimitri and climbed off of him, feeling my cheeks heat up as I remembered our brief, but heated make out session. I was just making out with my guardian. No less someone way older than me. Someone I've known almost my whole childhood. My face flamed.

Then I remembered he pretty much knew what I was thinking. "Sorry," I mumbled not looking at him.

His hand pulled my face up. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

Lissa poked her head in and Dimitri dropped his hand. "Rose, the doctor is making rounds. Let's go!"

I looked at Dimitri. His eyes were closed. I sighed and let myself out, I didn't see Lissa and was about to call her name when her hand gripped mine, pulling me down. I obeyed and hid with her just as the doctor passed, letting herself into Dimitri's room. When the door shut, Lissa pulled me back up and put a finger to her lips. I nodded once to show I understood.

We busted out of there quickly and outside. "So….Dimitri's shadow kissed now?" asked Lissa.

Maybe a little too casually. "Yeah. I couldn't just let him die. He's my guardian…even my friend…" _And my one, true love, _I thought, but instead said, "And…I just couldn't stand to see him even get awakened by that bitch of a Strigoi."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I get what you're saying. I guess I would do the same to someone I love."

I jolted at the word _love. _She gave me a small smile at my reaction, saying, "I know. I can see it. You really like him more than a friend or your guardian. But, I hate to be the one to tell you….You are kind of…betrothed I guess is the right word, to a Royal—"

"Yeah, someone I don't even know," I cut in bitterly.

She gave me a sympathetic look. "Oh, Rose."

We were at the building and she hesitated at the entrance. I knew why, though. I rolled my eyes. I knew she was planning on meeting up with my brother. "Oh, go ahead." She hugged me, and I assured her I would be fine alone in my room.

I yawned as I made my way upstairs to my room. Once in, I realized just how sore I was. The bitch of a Strigoi had kicked me multiple times n my side. Fortunately, common sense told me not to tense up or my ribs would surely crack under the pressure. Plus, I remembered from one of my health classes that bones were indeed like concrete, but had the ability to bend and be flexible if the force was great. This, in other words, meant that if relaxed, the bones would be free to bend into the shape and direction of the force….

Damn, I wasn't sure why I was suddenly recalling my classes and what I had learned. I heaved out a breath and then flopped onto my bed. I was still feeling strange from my encounter with Dimitri and my lips tingled at the thought of him kissing me again…

I exhaled. I needed to start being aware of my thoughts since I knew Dimitri could sense them. We were bonded. It was so strange to think I had saved him and he was bonded to me. I wasn't sure what to do with my time, all of a sudden, but something bugged me: I had to really see if Dimitri was bonded to me. I expanded my mind so that it would work both ways.

_Rose? _I jumped at his voice in my head.

_Um…it works…? _I stifled a hysteric giggle.

_Oh, Roza _he sighed.

I pulled out of my own head, touching the side of my head to make sure I was really back. Wow. That was just amazing….I snapped out of my trance and changed into my pajamas, about to crawl into bed when there was a knock. I shrieked and the door opened. Dimitri poked his head in. Relief filled his features when he saw I was just started.

He came in and shut the door behind him and I leaped up from the bed, throwing my arms around him. "Oof," he said. "Rose, what are you doing?"

I just hugged him tighter. "I thought I wouldn't see you again." Then I looked up. "And how come you're not in the infirmary?"

He shrugged and pulled me towards the bed, making me sit while he grabbed a chair. "Well, seeing as you healed me, there was really no point in staying any longer. No guarding duties for a while, though," his tone was wry.

I rolled my eyes. "You'll survive. Actually, that's no possible. You're constantly guarding me."

He leaned back in the chair. "That doesn't matter." Then he abruptly changed the subject. "Were you about to get in bed? I didn't mean to disturb you…"

I made a face. "I've been stuck up here all day, 'healing' as they told me. I'm just bruised, nothing serious." But, even as I said the words, I could feel the dull ache of my ribs and a gash along my side. Not only that, but I had a laceration on my neck from the Strigoi's fangs.

Dimitri leaned forward. "You most certainly aren't fine. We're bonded now, remember? It kind of tips me off something's wrong, Rose."

Oh, fuck. The bond. Right. "Shit," I mumbled out loud.

He frowned but got up. "Lie down," he instructed.

I opened my mouth, but his expression told me I shouldn't push it. With a loud sigh, I rolled over on my stomach and his gentle fingers carefully lifted my shirt. It felt like heaven, but it was only for medical purposes. For once, Dimitri didn't acknowledge my thoughts and focused on prodding my sides.

I winced and bit my lips to keep from whimpering. I felt something cool being rubbed into the gash and then moved to my neck. When he didn't touch me again, I sat up. He looked like he was about to leave.

"Dimitri," I murmured. "Can you stay with me tonight?"

His eyes widened and I saw watched his eyes unfocused for a split second, checking the bond. "Rose," he started.

"Please? I don't want to be alone…" I wasn't sure why I wanted him to stay so badly, but I did.

He let out a breath and then came over, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him. "Oh, Rose," he murmured softly. "You were so brave, but so stupid out there. I never thought you'd take it so seriously…."He trailed off.

After another moment, I heard him humming something softly. I didn't need to be told that it was definitely Russian. The sound was so soothing and I felt myself being pulled under….

**Sorry about towards the ending…I'm like half asleep…I don't know why, since it's only 9pm here…I think this was more a of a filler chapter…Long, but nothing too exciting…REVIEW!**

**SONGS:**

**Heaven Can Wait-We The Kings**

**Sweet Dreams-Beyonce**

**Fix You-Coldplay**

**These Dreams-Heart**


	10. Still In Danger

Dimitri had stayed all night and I could feel myself wrapped in his embrace. His breath hit my hair softly as he breathed, so I knew he was still asleep. I smiled and gently moved his arms. He stirred, but didn't wake. Slowly, I got to my feet and padded over to my closet. I didn't change since today was Sunday. I would sleep in, but I was restless and needed to get up. My legs ached to be stretched out and my arms felt soft.

I plopped down in the middle of the floor and did some stretching, loving the familiar movements of stretching out my muscles. I was just about done when I heard the bed creak. Dimitri was up. I stifled another giggle, wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

"Rose," Dimitri groaned. "Don't bother hiding. I already know you're in the closet."

I made a face, getting up. "Fine."

I stepped out and saw him rubbing his temples. I regarded him curiously. "What did you do know?" I knew the bond only worked one way except when I wanted to talk to him privately.

He offered a weak smile. "Nothing you need to worry about. How do you feel?"

I stretched some more. "Whatever you put on me, it worked like a fucking miracle!"

"Language," he reminded me, but it was halfhearted.

I just shot him a cheeky grin. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out. I climbed back onto the bed, pressing myself close to him. Apparently it was a text because he started pressing buttons quickly and pressed the send button. I watched him curiously.

"Since when do you know how to text?" I questioned.

The smile on his face was more relaxed, genuine. "Since cell phones came out," he teased me.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, what are we doing today?"

"I have a meeting later, but I guess I'll stick around with you until that time."

I tried to figure out what there was to do. The idea came immediately and Dimitri groaned, my feelings coming in through loud and clear through the bond. He said nothing more to me and I pulled out some clothes, quickly stripping down and getting dressed, not caring that he was still in the room.

Of course, being the gentleman he was, Dimitri turned away while I got dressed. When I was ready, he opened the door and I stepped out, looking around at the quiet emptiness. I turned to him questioningly. He could read what I was thinking. He knew what I wanted to know.

"Everyone's asleep or in their rooms. Only the guardians are out. The attack pushed everyone on edge."

I processed this. Then I shrugged. No one was watching us and we stuck along the shadows, so I grabbed Dimitri's hand and pressed it to the side of my face, taking comfort in him being with me. He looked at me tenderly and shaped his hand around my face. A small noise made us jump apart, though. Dimitri scanned our surroundings and I tensed slightly. No one appeared and he looked confused.

I moved closer to him, whispering in his ear, "Dimitri, there's something or someone here."

It took him a split second to catch on to what my sharper sense had picked up. He grabbed my hand and with his free hand, pulled out his stake. I saw another flash and saw the gun he always had concealed on him. There was snuffling and a psi-hound appeared. I realized that it must be onto something.

It looked up at me and I understood that it wanted us to follow. I tugged on Dimitri's hand, using the bond to talk to him. _It wants us to follow it. I think it found something. _His only answer was a slight nod of his head. He moved to my side, vigilant.

I kept a lookout for anything that would happen. I had a feeling that the Strigoi weren't done with us yet. It was kind of frightening to know that yesterday was the big attack and then today something else could happen. I trailed my palm along the wall and suddenly a sharp pain alerted me.

"Ouch," I muttered.

I had scraped my palm along something sharp. I pulled my hand back and Dimitri took it. I waited while he inspected it before pulling away and using my fingers to find the object that had poked me. My fingers bumped into it and I touched where I thought the tip was. I pulled my hand back away. IT was sharp enough that it pricked my finger and made that bleed as well.

I shook my hand out and was so focused on trying to find the object, I hardly noticed when Dimitri came up behind me, speaking softly. "Rose, what did you find?" I turned.

_I found something. And shut up. Don't say anything out loud…We're being watched…I have a feeling we won't be alone for long…_

His eyes widened, but he did as I asked, using the bond. _What do you suspect cut you?_

_I can't be sure, but I can't find it—_

A sudden sound made him pull me away and towards the safety of the building where my room was. I went along suddenly scared again that something would happen and I would be at risk and Dimitri might die again. The thought horrified me. Could I really bring him back a second time?

"Don't be silly," he muttered. "I'm not going to die again."

Oops. The bond, right. I really needed to figure out how to shield my thoughts. I tried to focus on the task at hand. There was shouting all of sudden. Dimitri's grip tightened on his stake as he pulled me into a building. He and I pressed up against a wall in a corner and he turned his head, looking out before motioning me to follow.

We raced through the hallway and up to my room at last. I was breathing heavily as was he. He pulled the curtains open, made sure the window was shut and locked tight, and then drew the curtains shut again. I didn't want him to go anywhere, fear of him dying and those last images from yesterday flashing through my mind. I didn't even bother with trying to place a shield up and he winced at my overwhelming emotions or the image in my head of his body limp and lifeless in my arms.

"Rose, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you," he assured me, coming over and cradling my face in hands.

I looked up into his warm, promising eyes, hoping it was true…"Of course it's true, Roza," he murmured.

He drew me close to his body and I placed my head on his chest gently. I could hear his heart beating soothingly and a sigh escaped. Banging on my door startled us both and Dimitri grabbed his stake, moving to the door. He peered through the peephole and stumbled back.

"What? Dimitri? What happened?" I was getting frantic, panicking.

"Strigoi," he whispered, fear flashing through his eyes.

I realized the fear was for me and not him. He was more worried about me. God, I was really lucky to have him as my own guardian. I knew, though I could help. There were still some tools stowed away in my room somewhere. I peeled myself off the wall and rushed to my closet, digging, not caring if I was making a mess. Finally, I found one more stake. Don't ask how I got it

The door broke down and I heard cruel laughter. Laughter I recognized all too well. Dimitri was busy fending off one of her accomplices while she advanced towards me.

"ROSE RUN!" Dimitri yelled.

I didn't. I was armed and this time I was actually fuelled my hatred and anger. "You," I spat.

She smirked. "Yes. Don't think you actually killed me. You just stunned me is all. Oh, look. You're boy toy is over there and alive. Aw, did you save him with your little bitty magic?" she sneered.

I didn't answer, waiting for the right moment where I could strike. She made her move. Vaguely, I saw Dimitri struggling to get to me. But, I ignored him and stuck out with my stake. Missed. Fuck. I tried again, she leaped back or feinted in another direction and by now I was getting tired of this game. I wanted revenge and I wanted it now.

While lost in thought, I didn't see the fist that came to my head, causing me to falter and stumble. This gave the bitch something to work with. I heard her cold, cruel laugh as I tried to regain myself. My head was spinning as was the room.

Something jerked me up, held a knife—one with no magic infused—to my throat, kind of like those movies you see. Only, this was real and this was my life. All this time I had been worried about losing Dimitri, when I should've focused on myself more. Fuck, again.

The knife was pressing harder into my skin and I squirmed for a moment, realized it was only making it worse, and settled for trying to focus on my breathing I heard Dimitri letting out a string of Russian swears and sentences. My name was being called, but I didn't reply.

The bitch let out a laugh. "You are as hopeless as they say. You're not fun. Maybe I should've gone after your boy toy there. Now, he would be delicious and a perfect addition—"

I didn't let her finish and lashed out, using a kick technique Dimitri himself had taught me. It unfortunately didn't break the hold, but it took her by surprise. I twisted and kicked again and again, leaving no room for her to recover so fast.

The knife was gone, but I could feel sticky blood on my throat and when I put my hand there and pulled it back, it was covered with crimson blood. I grimaced as the pain hit me, but continued to fight. I hooked my leg around hers and attempted to trip her. Didn't happen.

She stumbled, which was a point in my book since Strigoi were so hard and nearly impossible to take by surprise. I was about to crawl away and try to get to Dimitri, but I was suddenly dragged back. I let loose a scream that would probably pierce anyone's ears.

No. This couldn't happen. I had to get through. For Dimitri. For Lissa. For my friends and family. My breathing was labored as I made a weak attempt to hit her. My head was yanked up by my hair and I cried out at the pain that shot up and down my neck from the knife cut.

"You evil little girl," she hissed. "You think you can just get away after killing my partner? Do you really think a _Moroi _could go against a powerful immortal Strigoi like me? I've lived years, my dear and I know what I'm doing." Her red eyes appraised me. "You, however, don't know shit. You're just a young girl. What, fifteen, sixteen?" She laughed again.

"I'm seventeen, God damn it!" I snarled.

She didn't answer for a moment. "Well. You've lived seventeen long years. Looks like time's up, little girl. You have potential, but you're too much of a threat to keep around until you're older to awaken. It'll be a shame to dispose of someone with so much hope. But, your blood will still taste wonderful, nonetheless."

I tried to kick her shin. She caught my leg and twisted it painfully. I didn't want to show weakness, but a whimper escaped through my lips. She laughed again and released my head. I turned it and saw that Dimitri was struggling against two or three Strigoi who were trying to hold him down.

His eyes met mine. "Bye, Dimitri," I whispered.

He heard. His eyes flashed dangerously. He broke free and started at me. It was too late, though. She sunk her fangs into my neck and I felt the blood slowly being drained out of me. The loss was still too much, though since it was already flowing from the gash….

The last think I heard was Dimitri yelling, "Rose! No!"

And everything….went…black….

**DUN DUN DUN! Who thinks Rose is gonna survive? You never know, maybe she might become a Strigoi and someone will heal her. I was starting to hit a dead end with this for a moment, but I found some music, cranked it up and ideas started flowing into my head.**

**I love music, don'tcha? **

**Oh, well, next chapter should be up….Soon…I hope…**

**SONGS:**

**Fallen-Sarah McLachlan**

**Fix You-Coldplay**

**Hallelujah-Rufus Wainwright**

**Say Goodbye-Skillet**

**Nightmare-A7x**

**Give Me a Sign/Dance with the Devil-Breaking Benjamin**

**The Shot heard 'round The World-Boys Like Girls**

**The Great Escape-Boys Like Girls**


	11. New Facts

I was floating on nothingness. I felt weird and my brain tickled, trying to remember something. I stirred and found myself suddenly in one of Adrian Ivashkov's dreams. I shielded my eyes against the bright sunlight and it dimmed. Adrian.

He stepped out from the shadows and then I saw Lissa. I squealed and ran to her. We embraced each other tightly and I looked around. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt with cutoff shorts. For once, Adrian didn't….dress me up…

"Good to see you're still alive, Rose," he greeted.

Adrian was one of the Royals. He was an Ivashkov and boy did they have a reputation. He was another spirit user we had found on a trip once and he had followed us back to learn some more about spirit and to teach us what he knew. Including dream walking, which he was doing now.

Often, he would visit my dreams when I was asleep and choose any kind of scenery or clothes or anything he wanted since he controlled it. Sometimes, he thought it was funny to dress me up in few clothes and I would demand that he put more clothing on me sometimes.

"Of course I'm still alive. Why wouldn't I be? I'm just sleeping, right?" Then, suddenly, it all came back to me, memory flooding my head.

"Oh!" I gasped.

Adrian just waited. Lissa looked close to tears when she spoke. "Rose, you've been asleep for two days now. Dimitri's really worried about you. So is everyone else."

I blinked. "That fucking long?"

Adrian answered me. "Yes. Lissa and I decided to check up on you, see if you're still there. Of course, you're a fighter…." He didn't finish.

I sighed. "I don't know. I don't know how to wake up. My eyes feel like there are weights on them, my body hurts all over, and my head is just….hell…."

Lissa hugged me tighter, whispering, "Take your time. Heal. What doesn't get better, I will make better," she said fiercely.

It was then I remembered something. "The Strigoi," I recalled. "What happened to her?"

Adrian and Lissa exchanged looks. "Your guardian tried to kill her. She managed to get out somehow though," answered Adrian.

I let out a frustrated sound. "Damn her. She killed Dimitri and then she tried to fuck with me."

No one said anything else for a while. I sighed again. "Alright. I'm done. Maybe I can try to wake up somehow…"

The scenery dissolved and I was back in my own, familiar blackness. I struggled with my mind, trying hard to focus on my surroundings. Finally, I managed to get through the haze of complete, pitch black. I worked on keeping it that way so I could hear what was going on.

So far? I heard nothing, which either meant that I wasn't focused enough or no one was in the room talking. I kept my breathing even as I struggled next with opening my eyes. Damn it, come on, I begged them. Just a little harder…

There. I expected bright light, but instead was greeted with warm, dim lighting. I looked around without moving my head. Dimitri was sound asleep, one of his hands curled around mine. I carefully moved my fingers, testing them, yet not wanting to wake him up.

I studied him. His face wasn't relaxed and peaceful, for once. He looked like something was bothering him…

He stirred and then opened his eyes, squinting slightly. They widened when he saw that I was awake. He reached out with one hand and cradled my face. I leaned into his touch as he whispered, "Roza."

I loved the way my Russian name rolled off his tongue so naturally. I took one of my battered hands and pressed the hand on my face closer to me. Finally, he slid his hand away after a few moments. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, his expression growing mad.

Oh, crap. He was pissed; there was no doubt about that. He didn't raise his voice, but the concern was replaced by a kindling anger. I wanted to cower away from his fierce gaze, but couldn't go anywhere. His eyes held mine, hypnotizing almost as I lost myself in the depth of them.

"What were you thinking, Rose? You're lucky you weren't killed!" he exclaimed.

I moved my eyes and stared down at my hands, not meeting his stony look. "I had to do something. I hate feeling useless, like I can't protect the ones I love," I looked up as I said that.

His eyes still flashed. "That's no excuse to throw yourself in front of a Strigoi and pray to God you'll live."

I opened my mouth to reply back, but nothing came out. I clamped my lips together and looked away. My head hurt from his bombarding me all of a sudden with accusations and such, and I was aware of everything throbbing. I hated having him mad at me. I wanted so bad to prove myself to him, which was part of the reason I went after that bitch.

To my dismay, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Angrily, I tried to use a hand to brush them away, but the sharp movement yanked at my sore, aching muscles. This mad more tears spring to my eyes and I felt one slide down my face. I didn't bother to wipe that away and stared at anything but him.

A warm hand pulled my face around. I didn't resist, didn't look at him. "Rose," he murmured. "Don't cry. I'm not mad at you."

There was a pause. "Then what?" I whispered.

He sighed. "I'm worried about you. Your safety. I didn't mean to bite your head off."

He fingers moved to my face and gently wiped away my tears. At that soothing, familiar touch, everything I had been holding back came pouring out. Sobs wracked my body and Dimitri carefully moved so he could hold me. I buried my face his shoulder.

I knew why I was crying now. The thought of dying and never being able to enjoy life again hit me. Just like Dimitri dying. I was scared. The Strigoi had gotten away and she was more than likely to come back and definitely attack.

"It's alright, Roza," he breathed when I was down to shuddering breaths. "No one's going to die. You're not going to die, I don't let that happen. You don't have to be afraid."

For a little while, we stayed like that. I was curled up against him on the bed and his arms embraced me, making me feel safe and loved. I hated feeling all emotional and showing weakness in front of the person I wanted to stay strong for.

I didn't respond, but clutched him tighter, not wanting to let go…

"You're going to have to let go eventually," Dimitri suddenly said.

I jumped slightly and he gave me a wry look as my face heated up. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

We were both silent for a little while until there was a soft knock on the door. Dimitri quickly got up and straightened himself up. I ran a hand over my eyes to make sure there were no more tears.

"You look fine, Rose," he murmured for my ears only.

When I was ready, he opened the door and Lissa bust in, followed by Adrian. Dimitri stepped out. Lissa came over and hugged me gently. Adrian stood off to the side, seeming unsure. I sighed and opened my arms for him. He smiled and stepped over, Lissa moving out of the way as I hugged Adrian briefly.

"Oh, Rose, I thought you'd never wake up!" Lissa exclaimed.

I shrugged. "I guess willpower really does work," I joked.

"You were just lucky this time," Adrian cut in.

"Yeah. I have Dimitri for that. He really is my guardian. Almost a guardian angel," I was feeling giddy all of a sudden, when Dimitri's thought entered my mind briefly.

_Roza, you're feeling the effects of the medicine. Don't let it get to you, _he warned me.

I took a breath, calming myself down. Lissa was biting her lip. Adrian was just looking at me. I decided to address Liss first since she seemed to be impatient.

"Alright, where do you have to go?"

She looked up guiltily. "Um, well Christian was going to visit you, but he decided that we'd probably wear you out…And I…have to meet…him…"

I waved her on. "Go ahead, I don't care."

She came over and embraced me once more before opening the door and leaving. I was silent, but Adrian spoke up: "Rose, tell me something. Guardian Belikov's going to be your guardian right?" My nod confirmed this. "Well, your aura says different."

"Wha..What?" I sputtered.

He shrugged. "Your aura says he's definitely more than your guardian…" he looked at me suggestively.

I glared at him. "How do you know it's true, huh? How do you know that from just my aura?" Even as I said the words, I knew that auras were pretty much almost always right, seeing as I could read them myself.

He seemed to know this. "You know how accurate they are. Your aura says you love him. Really love him. Rose, do you really love him, or do you just have a crush on him?"

I looked away, embarrassed. When I looked back at him, I knew my look said it all. He sighed and ran a hand through his styled hair. "Rose, answer me, please."

I knew there was no way out of this, and I couldn't avoid him. "I do love him," I whispered. "He loves me too. He's told me before. But, he says he can't focus on his personal life. HE has to focus on protecting me. And I accept that. But, Adrian, I really do love him! He knows me, understands me. He's been there almost my whole life since he's my Aunt Tasha's friend and he just…."I trailed off.

He looked sad, but also slightly angry at the same time. "If he's manipulating you…"

I shook my head vigorously. "No! Of course he wouldn't do that!"

Silence. Then: "Rose, you don't love him. You can't. You're going to be married off to a Royal who has enough Ozera blood to keep the bloodline going! I can even give you better than that! What if I said that I'm the one who requested to be tested to see if I could be the one and that I am? What if I said you were going to be married to me?" He looked desperate.

I slowly looked at him, eyes wide, not recognizing my own voice. "You lied. You lied to me and said that you had no idea who the person was. You said that he was from somewhere else. You never said it was you….You fucking bastard," my voice was cold, threatening.

Adrian tried to cut in. "Rose—"

"GET OUT!" I screamed at him,

He opened his mouth, but the door opened. Dimitri came in calmly. "I suggest you leave now, Mr. Ivashkov."

He barely spared a glance at Dimitri as he left, looking back mournfully at me. I sighed, feeling defeated and exhausted. My body was still bruised and battered, which meant that yelling at Adrian had taken a lot out of me. I looked over and found Dimitri eyeing me with concern.

"Rose," he started. "Rose, I heard everything. And I mean everything."

He rubbed his head. I looked up. "How?" I asked wearily.

"Somehow, the bond let me get inside your head where I experience just about everything you do…I got stuck in your mind," he sounded incredulous.

I was aghast. "No, way!"

"I'm sorry, Rose, but it was nothing I could control."

I didn't say anything, instead leaning back against the pillows. I looked over at him and patted the space next to me, inviting him. He didn't hesitate this time and slipped onto the bed, pulling me very gently to him.

"He lied," I whispered drowsily. "Adrian lied to me."

I could feel a growing anger in me, something I couldn't control…I wanted to go find Adrian now, I wanted to cause him pain, some kind of emotional or physical pain. I wanted to kill him. I burned with a desire to kill so strong that it left me briefly confused. Then it returned.

I was shaking. I moved away from Dimitri, but he grabbed me tighter, encasing me in his arms. Why wouldn't he let me go? Didn't he tell that I needed some freaking revenge? Adrian was using me. He claimed he was my friend, but what kind of friend was he when he told me that he was supposed to be the bastard he married me.

"Rose….Rose!" Dimitri was saying.

I looked up at him. "I need to find him. I need to show him how much he hurt me!"

Dimitri's tone was sharp. "Roza, that's not the right way. There's something dark overtaking you….The darkness…..Roza? Give it to me. It's not who you are," he murmured now.

I tried to find sense in his words, and finally, I realized that it was spirit's effects. Damn it. I didn't want to give it to him, but he was the only outlet. I focused on sending the horrible darkness to him to take care of. It left and I felt him briefly tense up, before relaxing.

**Bad ending, yes. But it's the best I can do. It's the Fourth of July in the states…so yeah, fireworks time! xD I don't care for them…**

**SONGS:**

**Lithium-Evanescence. **

**Somewhere-Within Temptation**

**Chances-Five for Fighting**

**Haunted-Kelly Clarkson**

**Life on the Moon-David Cook**


	12. Confessing To Lissa

After a few more days in the infirmary, I was finally released to do what I pleased. Dimitri had left a few hours after taking the darkness from me, saying that he had some things to take care of. I hadn't seen him since then and was currently wandering across campus, trying to find him. But, I managed to bump into Lissa and Christian.

"Rose, you're okay!" Lissa exclaimed, letting go of my brother's hand and throwing her arms around me.

"Oof, Lissa…still…not…fully healed," I gasped at her tight hold.

She let go looking sheepish. "Sorry."

"So, little sis, they finally let you go, or did you break out of there?" Christian teased me.

I shot him a glare before asking them, "Have any of you seen Dimitri?"

Lissa didn't know, but Christian said, "Last I saw, he was talking with Aunt Tasha over there." He pointed to the far edge of the campus, pretty close to the wards.

I thanked him and quickly scurried off. As I made my way over there, I realized how much I wanted to tell someone (that someone mainly being Lissa) about me and Dimitri. I felt a pang in my chest as I recalled what Adrian had confessed. All this time I thought he was a good friend, but he lied. He lied to me about everything.

I was still pissed at him, lost in thought when I was aware of someone beside me. I was about to look up and snap at them, but the remark dried on my lips when I saw it was only Dimitri. He arched an eyebrow and I looked away.

"Did you need something?" he asked.

Of course. The bond. I had to remember that we were bonded now. "Oh, um, just wondering where you disappeared to. Christian said you were talking to Aunt Tasha?"

He nodded slowly and we continued walking to the periphery of the Court campus where we'd more than likely be alone. IT was a while before either of us spoke, him being the one to break the silence.

"Is there something you want to ask me?" he gave me a sidelong glance.

Damn it. "No, I'm good."

It was pointless trying to hide something what with our bond. He smiled slightly, obviously knowing it. "I know you want to ask me something…" He stopped and turned around, now in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders and leaning down. "Don't be afraid to ask me anything. Anything at all," he murmured.

"It's a stupid question," I mumbled, trying—yet failing—to look away from his hypnotizing eyes.

"No, it isn't."

"Can I tell Lissa? About….us?" I blurted out without second thought.

He leaned back and frowned slightly. I almost groaned. "See, I told you it was stupid."

He glanced back at me. "It isn't stupid. I was just thinking."

"Yeah, right," I muttered.

"Alright, you can tell her. She's your best friend and she does deserve to know."

He watched people walking around on the main part of the Court and I studied him. I attempted to throw up some shields so he wouldn't know what I was thinking. When I figured I had succeeded, I continued with watching him.

His soft hair, warm eyes, sexy accent, muscular build…All for me. Well, I wish it was. As I continued drinking him in, he turned and I felt my face heat up, knowing that he knew I had been watching me. He slipped his hand in mine and pulled me closer.

"Kiss me?" I breathed.

His eyes widened and he looked at me curiously before sighing. Without a word, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was just a gentle touch as he brushed them against mine. But when I tangled my fingers in his hair, bringing his head closer, it escalated.

His lips captured mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth. His hands moved from the small of my back, roaming over my body. He didn't go anywhere where he thought he shouldn't and I realized though stupid, I wanted to feel his hands on my skin.

I took his hands and moved them up, until he got the idea, slipping the hem of my shirt up enough where he could rub the skin there, teasing me. He moved to let me breathe, his lips leaving a fiery trail down wherever he touched.

His lips wouldn't go any farther than my collarbone and I didn't try to push him. Suddenly, he grabbed me and pressed me against the wall, allowing my legs to go around his waist. If I could have my way, I would spend forever kissing his soft lips.

But, my sharp sense picked up on a sound. I broke away from his mouth, gasping for breath. He was breathing heavily too and gently untangled himself from me. We didn't need words to know that someone was coming our way.

"Rose!" It was Lissa calling me. "I know you're here somewhere," she sang out.

Dimitri stepped back to give me room to straighten up, to make us look like we were just talking. But, I couldn't focus on anything but the hot make out session he had just given me. Lissa appeared around the corner and didn't seem surprised when she saw us together.

"There you are. Hello, Dimitri," she greeted cheerily.

"Lissa," he tilted his head at her and turned back to me. "I should get going now."

I nodded, not really comprehending anything but the feel of his lips...his hair…his skin…I reminded myself to stop that and focus on what was going on.

His voice was suddenly in my head. _Don't forget to tell her._

_Yeah, I know._

He stepped around the corner to give us privacy, but also to keep tabs on me close by and I looked back at Lissa. "Um, Liss. I have to tell you something…"

She waited. "Let me guess, it has to do with you and Dimitri."

"How did you know?"

"Oh, come on, I'm not stupid. I'm your best friend. I do have eyes you know. But you tell me."

I sighed. "I love him, he loves me. Does that tell you anything? Don't get mad at me, though," I pleaded.

She looked shocked. "Why in the world would I get mad? I think it's great that you finally found someone you love. I don't care about that guardian stuff. You're still Moroi and you have the right to be in love with a dhampir."

I stared at her. "How long have you known?"

She looked sheepish now. "Not too long, but I don't know, really. It's just recently that I really started to notice things: like how you always seem to be around each other, he knows where you are no matter what, and how happy and comfortable you seem around him. You guys are bonded, aren't you?" A rueful smile lifted her lips.

"Yeah. We are bonded. Finally, someone I can tell all my secrets and desires to," I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, I know he's around the corner, listening to us from inside your head."

My head jerked up. "Wait, what?"

"It's part of the bond; him being able to slip into your head. Dimitri! You can come out now!"

He appeared, dark and mysterious as always. He didn't hesitate as he came over to me, wrapping one arm around my waist. I leaned my head back against his chest. Lissa looked satisfied and I knew she was glad her suspicions were right.

"Okay, well, I'll leave you two alone. See you around, Rose," she called as she walked off.

"That went better than expected," I murmured.

He chuckled. "I told you she'd understand."

"Okay, now where were we before we got interrupted?" I turned to face him.

He shook his head a smile playing on his lips. "Not now. Maybe later. We need to get you back before dusk so we don't have to worry about the Strigoi attacking you once again."

I stuck my lower lip out, trying a pout. It didn't work because he was soon towing me away. I sighed and followed him out into the light of campus.

**Sorry it's shorted than normal, but it's still a chapter and I have to leave soon for a b-day party next door. 3 So, now Lissa knows about their so called love life. Isn't it great when you don't have to hide things from your best friends? XD**

**SONGS:**

**Believe-Josh Groban**

**Say Hey I Love You-Michael Franti**

**Run-Leona Lewis**

**It's Not Over-Daughtry**

**Rain-Breaking Benjamin**

**Too Late-Dead By Sunrise**

**Fuego-Cheetah Girls**

**Round & Round-Selena Gomez**


	13. The Nightmare

It was dark when I woke up. I was hot and sweaty, and the nightmare was vivid in my head. I tried to kick off the blankets that were tangled and glued to my legs. My breathing was erratic as I attempted to get it under control. Tears I hadn't realized before were wet on my cheeks. God, the dream seemed too real…so alive…It scared me.

A knock on the door broke me out of my thoughts, making me jump. A familiar presence in my mind alerted me it was only Dimitri on the other side. Shaking, I summoned some magic and used it to unlock the door from where I was sitting on the bed.

It creaked open quietly and he poked his head. "Roza?"

When he saw my expression, he came over immediately. He sat next to me on the bed and held me in his arms. "I saw what happened," he murmured. "I didn't understand it, though…."

I looked up at him. "I-I don't know," I lied.

Okay, so maybe I did know, but I wasn't about to tell him. I pleaded with my eyes a mind, wanting him to drop the subject. _Please, Dimitri? _I begged. I really didn't want to talk about it. Yet, for once, he didn't leave me alone. His eyes bore into mine.

"I'm not leaving this alone."

Shit. "Why not?" I demanded.

"Aren't you supposed to be my guardian? Aren't you supposed to do what I want? What happened to 'they come first'?"I was being a bitch, but I how could I explain the jumbled mess he saw when I was the only one who understood it?

"Rose, for once I don't care. If something bad happened, I need to know about it. You can trust me. I only want to help you," his usual guardian façade was gone.

I couldn't resist now. "The Strigoi in a way. Sometimes, I'll get these dreams where it seems like a jumbled mess, but I actually know what's going on. I don't know if it's just me or other spirit users get them, but they can sometimes predict what's going to happen in the near future.

"But that's not all. I keep getting a weird feeling and it scares me, Dimitri. I can't control them and I get the feeling now that something bad is going to happen. Something big that will change everyone and how they've had certain things drilled in their heads. Change is coming," my voice dropped down to a whisper at the last part as the pieces suddenly clicked.

Dimitri was watching me now and I wondered if he heard anything I had said. Until he spoke, that is. "Alright. So do you know anything? Anything at all? Maybe we should go and talk to Hans about this and get every guardian available in case something—"

"No! Don't you get it? We don't have time! Something's going to happen, like right now!" As soon as the words were out, I regretted them.

I heard yelling outside my window. There was commotion and Dimitri jumped off the bed, shoving the curtains aside and finding Strigoi all over the place. But it wasn't just that. There were some Moroi and dhampirs helping out. Oh, shit. This was bad.

Dimitri was in full guardian mode. He had his stake in one hand and a…_gun _in his other. He slipped out of his duster and ordered, "Put this on. Maybe if I disguise you, we can get out of here."

I wasn't sure what he meant, but I did what he asked as we slipped out my door and outside where chaos was evident. I stuck close to his side, while he kept guard, walking towards a quiet corner where no one was there.

"Rose," his voice was very faint and only for my ears. "We need to get out of here. Now. I can't risk letting you stay here when this is happening. I don't know what's going on, but there aren't just Strigoi there—I'm sure you saw that—and it's too dangerous."

I leaned up on my toes and whispered in his ear. "Are we escaping from the Royal court?"

His face said it all. He looked around and then he leaned down and pressed his mouth on mine. It was a brief, but loved filled kiss. His lips were urgent against mine and his hands trapped me, one tangling in my hair and the other on the small of my back.

When we broke away, I felt fear chill me when I realized he was probably going to fight off whoever was on the other side while I escaped and use the bond to find me later. No. No. NO! He couldn't do this! He couldn't just leave! What if he didn't come back? How would I know if he was okay?

"Don't be silly," he muttered. "I'll be fine and I'll text you if I can, alright?"

I made a face. "Still. Do you have to? Can't I just hide? I can at least help! I know how to use my magic!" A very bad feeling seeped into me suddenly as we argued.

"Dimitri," I breathed, interrupting what he was saying.

He followed my gaze and we both saw a Strigoi and a dhampir grinning. Strigoi working with Moroi and dhampirs? That was something that would challenge our knowledge. They were advancing on us. Just the two of them, but still powerful creatures.

I immediately summoned up my magic and my memory of what I had been taught to do by Dimitri. I felt his hand on my face and he looked at me. I opened my eyes and stared back, conveying the message that I was going to help fight no matter what he said. No matter what happened. He nodded and took off as the dhampir went to Dimitri.

The Strigoi came at me and his lips curled back in an evil, chilling smile. He didn't speak and neither did I as we circled one another. I was ready when he lunged at me. He tried to punch my face out, but to my surprise, I caught it. It wasn't my own strength and I soon understood who was making me so strong.

_DIMITRI! _I yelled through the bond. _I'm fine! You need to focus on the other bad guy._

He answered immediately. _I am concentrating, but I do better when I know I can help you out. Just let me help you out and I promise we'll get through this._

I sighed. Looked like he was going to stay no matter what. He threw a punch with my hand and I was dragged forward as he instructed me in my head once in a while. The Strigoi came at me and my leg shot out, but he caught it. He hit my head and everything started spinning.

_Roza…I can't…stay…any longer…_

Dimitri was gone from my head. I was on my own. I found that I was trapped and he was trying to bite me. No way was I going to let that happen again. Power surge through me and I shoved my hands with flames burning on them into the Strigoi. He yelled and jumped back, startled more than injured.

"Bitch," he sneered. "Relying on your Moroi magic."

That made me mad. Fire shot out from my hands and I was shocked to find them doing that. Then something clicked in my head and I tried something else. I made the ground crumbled slightly where he stepped and he fell into a hole. It didn't stop him though and he climbed out easily.

I racked my brain for something else and recalled something. Again I held out my hands braced in front of me and water shot out, wrapping around his head. HE clawed and clawed at it, but it was water, it was liquid, and his hands just went right through it. I almost laughed if I didn't hear someone behind me.

I spun around at a ridiculously high speed and shot flames at whoever it was. They deflected it, though. I opened my mouth about to scream for Dimitri when I heard the voice. "Ah, Rosemarie. What a nice surprise. I didn't expect you here."

It was Victor. He was supposed to be in jail. Damn it, this day just got weirder and weirder. He grinned and right before my eyes, he changed, his skin becoming a chalky pallor. His fangs grew into something more terrifying, longer and sharper. His eyes literally glowed red.

Then, someone appeared behind him. It was…Dimitri. "No." It slipped out before I could stop it. He was worse than dead. He was Strigoi. His red eyes and sharp fangs gleamed in the dim lighting.

Wait. Dim lighting? Where was I? What happened? "What the hell is going on?" I said out loud.

Dimitri was the only one there. "Nothing, my dear Rose," he grinned.

I looked around and found myself in some kind of cell. Bars were everywhere and it was only me and Dimitri. He let himself in and grabbed me around the waist, tilting my neck and sinking his fangs into the soft skin. I barely let out a scream before it was replaced with moans of pleasure…..

"Rose. Roza! Roza, get up, wake up!" Aw, man now I was hearing things.

I opened my eyes to face reality, not wanting to give myself false hope. I let out a strangled sound when I found myself back in my room, drenched in a cold sweat, clothes sticking to my dampened skin. Sheets were tangled up.

A dream. All of it just a horrible nightmare… "So real," I murmured to myself.

Dimitri was watching me; his eyes still the same, warm brown color, and no fangs as far as I could see. "Roza? What happened?"

I squinted at him. "Am I still dreaming? Aren't you a Strigoi? Why are you here?"

He didn't smile, didn't say anything for a moment. And then: "Roza, you're really awake this time, I swear to God. I'm here because the bond told me something was wrong. I found out how to get inside your head and get back out. The dream was that, just a twisted nightmare."

I buried my head in his shoulder, clutching at the blankets. "It felt so real. I woke up by myself almost the same way I had now, but only it was part of the dream. It scared me," I added in a whisper.

He hugged me to him, pulling me down on top of him. "You're alright, Roza. I'm here now."

I tried to take deep breaths and forget about it, but I couldn't. A lone tear strayed down my cheek before I could catch it and Dimitri wiped it away gently with his thumb. He murmured things in Russian, my name among them.

"Dimitri?" I said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"I can't stay here anymore. It's not safe. No matter if we have wards and all that, it's still not safe. We have to leave now or very soon. I just can't stay here when everything's a mess."

I looked at him, hoping he'd agree. He seemed to be processing the idea, but also was undecided. "Rose, we can't just leave. We need to plan ahead before we can do anything. Where would we go? What would we take? What about transportation? What time of day do we leave?" He threw back at me.

I scowled and folded my arms, staring at the door. I didn't have a reply to it and he smiled grimly, knowing he had me there. But, yet, he did actually have a point there. I was just rushing into things just like I always do without thinking. Dimitri was right, we needed to plan ahead all this before we did anything that could get us in serious trouble or even kill us both for good.

I blew out a breath, still thinking. I decided we could stay a hotel or something; we could easily rent a car since I had access to my account with all my money. And we would leave whenever we could. When everyone was asleep or activity was dying down. As for what we'd take. That part I haven't figured out.

What I knew for sure was that Dimitri would take care of me no matter what. And I needed to sleep before we did any planning…

**GOOD GOD. Sorry, I meant to UD, but then I got kinda busy…xP But, I'm making up for it now and it's longer than the last one. I'll try and get another one in tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be able to.**

**SONGS:**

**None at the moment**


	14. Reality Hurts

The night seemed to drag on. Dimitri was sound asleep on the floor, giving me my space. I had argued that we wouldn't be doing anything anyway. He still claimed it was highly inappropriate. I had made a face, mocking him. Of course, he wasn't too happy with my behavior and wouldn't talk to me until morning…

So, now he was on the floor with a bunch of piled up blankets as his bed, using one of the pillows from the bed. I was sitting cross legged on the bed, trying hard not to let my feelings escape through the bond and to him, not wanting him to read my thoughts.

I sighed. I needed to get out and do something. I was itching to just get out and have a nice run, but knew Dimitri would notice if I left. As if he heard me, he stirred. Panicking, I ducked back onto the bed, trying to yank the covers from its coiled mess, but immediately quit and put up shields in my head; closing my eyes and making it appear as if I were asleep.

I heard him get up silently, and felt his hand on my face. He sighed my name and moved away. I cracked one eye open and found him staring out the window. I closed my eyes again when he turned around.

"Roza, I know you're pretending. You don't have to anymore. Why don't we go for a walk?"

I opened my eyes and found his wry expression. "How the hell do you know?" I inquired. "My acting skills that bad?"

"No," he answered. "You put shields up in your mind. That would tip me off in the first place. Those shields would be down if you were actually sleeping. And there's also the fact they aren't exactly strong at the moment."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say, Comrade."

He took my hand and led me outside. He didn't let go as we walked in silence, surveying the mess that was still evident in certain places from the Strigoi attacking a while back. I clutched his hand tighter, not wanting to let him go.

"When can we leave?" I whispered softly.

He didn't look at me. "I don't know, Roza…."

"I think we should leave first thing…Or, since you don't seem so keen on going, maybe I'll just go myself and when you make up your mind, then you can join me. I mean, let's face it. You can't love me because I'm already going to married off to Adrian Ivashkov. You care about me, but you don't love me," I declared.

My words made his head snap around to look at me. "Rose!" He exclaimed.

I shrugged and kept going, realizing I was making a total and utter fool of myself again. His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me back, close to his body. He tipped my face up with two fingers and looked me in the eye. I found myself getting lost in the depth of those brown eyes….

"Roza, how could you say that? I do love you. I do care about you. I always will and nothing can change that. The fact that you're going to be married to Ivashkov doesn't change anything; you should know that. I am coming with you, no matter what. Just give me time to figure things out."

I let out a frustrated sound. "That's the problem! The wedding everyone's been waiting for is coming up as soon as I'm eighteen! We don't have time." I made sure to carefully enunciate the last sentence.

He let go of me and ran a hand through his hair. "Rose…."

I moved closer to him and twined my fingers in his hair. I stood on my toes and tried to reach his lips. He wasn't willing to I pulled his head down and crushed our mouths together. I attempted to get a response out of him, wanting to feel the silkiness of his lips, the soft touch of his tongue on my own.

He moved his lips for a moment with mine…and the he pulled back. "Rose…I need…I just need to think about this." He pulled out of my arms, which were still wrapped around his neck.

Angrily, I let go and shoved him back with surprising strength. "Fine. Go. I don't need you anymore. If you really loved me, you'd help me out instead of always saying stuff like you need to think…or, it's inappropriate for us. Well, I've got news for you, Comrade: Moroi and dhampirs hook up all the time!" With that, I stomped off.

"Rosemarie Ozera. Get back here!" he growled after me.

I ignored him, part of the fact being he used my full name, which I hated. I heard his approaching footsteps, though he was pretty quiet being a dhampir and all. I was a Moroi, but that didn't mean I couldn't run.

My feet picked up speed, carrying me farther and farther away from him. From the hurt. From the rejection. I rounded a corner and found a door. It wasn't locked and I opened it, swiftly shutting it. I found that it lead to the main lobby.

I waited a little bit and then snuck outside, going over to the building that held my own room. The tears began falling freely when I everything sunk in. I unlocked my door and found it empty. I let out a strangled, frustrated shout and kicked at his makeshift bed.

It wasn't enough and I continued at throwing and kicking things until I collapsed on the bed, sobbing. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to feel weak. But it was too much to hold in and my strong demeanor crumbled as I buried myself into the pillows on my bed.

I heard the door open slowly and quietly. I knew who it was.

_Roza, talk to me,_ he pleaded.

I didn't answer, but he tried again and I blew up.

_GO THE FUCK AWAY! OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND I WAS MAKING A MISTAKE. Good night, _Guardian Belikov.

I knew it would hurt him. But, he would know how hurt I was. The crying continued throughout the night and all I wanted to do was scream my head off. I couldn't, though because someone would surely hear me and wonder what was happening. I didn't want to deal with that.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing, but the sobs stopped long enough for me to get up and throw the pillows at the wall, at the door, and basically anywhere. Dimitri looked weary and tired, but didn't sleep. He just watched my fit and didn't even come comfort me when I broke down for good this time. Part of me was disappointed and immensely upset that he didn't try anything, and the other part was glad he didn't at the same time.

I wouldn't sleep. I couldn't. Dawn was beginning to break over the horizon. I watched the sunrise before drawing the curtains. The tears had dried, leaving behind a trail of numbness and hurt. Dimitri had finally rolled over and gone to sleep.

I curled up on the mattress, not bothering to pull up the blankets, though I was cold and shivering. I didn't move from my curled up position even when I heard Dimitri get up and hesitantly walk over, taking the sheets and pulling them up over me.

I guess I finally fell asleep because the next thing I knew, I was waking up, the sun trying to peek in through the drawn curtains. I sighed and was astonished to find a bunch of warm blankets piled on me. I sniffed them and my eyes widened, catching a whiff of aftershave.

These were from Dimi—Guardian Belikov's make shift bed…

I got out of bed and there was a knock on the door. I glanced around the room and found that _he _had cleaned it up for me. Huh. Nice of him. Another knock on the door sent me to see who it was. I opened it to find Adrian standing there, looking…well, I wasn't sure, exactly.

"Hey, Rose," he greeted me. "Can I come in?"

I sidestepped and he entered."Okay, so what do you want?"

He took a deep breath. "Listen, I'm really sorry for not telling you earlier about me and you. I wasn't trying to be a jerk to you. I guess I just want to make amends with you since the wedding or whatever it's called is tomorrow…forgive me?"

A smile worked its way onto my lips. "Apology accepted."

He grinned. "Alright, do I have the honor of kissing those soft lips?"

Normally, I wouldn't want anyone else but Dimitri to kiss me, but things were different now. "Sure, why not? We are going to be…um, together soon, anyways."

He stepped closer to me and placed a soft, sensual kiss on my lips. They tingled with anticipation. I didn't feel a certain connection with him as I did with Dimitri, but I felt something, nonetheless.

I kissed him back, loving the way his lips actually moved with mine. We were interrupted by a knock on the door. I pulled back from Adrian and found Dimitri standing on the other side. His face was expressionless, but I thought I saw hurt flash across his eyes before whatever it was disappeared.

"Rose, Tasha would like to talk to you," he said politely.

I looked back at Adrian. "I'll see you later, alright?"

He nodded, kissed my cheek and left. I turned around and followed Dimitri out into the hallway. Aunt Tasha was waiting for us and seemed delighted to see me once more. I hugged her tight and we started chatting while Dimitri hung back a little to give us space.

"Rose, we need to get out a shop for a dress. The ceremony is tomorrow!"

That got my attention more than anything. "Wait, what?" I yelped.

She looked at me. "Rose," she chastised. "Your birthday is tomorrow and that's when we're having the ceremony. Not a wedding, just a ceremony. But, as I was saying, we need to get into town and buy you a dress you like…."

On she went with the plans and everything, but I had stopped listening and I was numb. My birthday. I forgot. I was finally eighteen, but I was also going to be bound to Adrian. Oh, shit. I glanced back at Dimitri and knew that he knew.

Two words ran through the bond from him:

_I'm Sorry._

**Phew. I was gonna make it longer, but I have other things I needa be doing. Enjoy! REVIEW PLEASE!**

SONGS:

**Please Forgive ME-Bryan Adams**

**Who You'd Be Today-Kenny Chesney**

**Hallelujah-Jeff Buckley**

**Falling Slowly-Glen Hansard**

**September-Daughtry**

**Drummer Boy-Debi Nova**

**Love Left To Lose-Sons Of Sylvia**

**Better Days-Goo Goo Dolls**

**Permanent-David Cook**

**The Great Escape-Boys Like Girls**

**Runaway-Gary Allan **

**Fall For You-Secondhand Serenade**

**The Reason-Hoobastank **

**I Don't Wanna Be In Love-Good Charlotte. **

**Get Out OF This Town-Carrie Underwood**


	15. Shopping For the Ceremony

Aunt Tasha had gotten permission to take me out shopping for the ceremony tomorrow. I was sulky, sitting in the backseat while Dimitri drove and Tasha rode shotgun. Even though I was mad at him, it didn't exactly mean I was ready to be bound to Adrian or even married off to him. Hell, there was only one guy who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and that guy obviously didn't love me back anymore.

A tear leaked out the corner of my eye. I brushed it away angrily. I looked up and met his eyes in the review mirror and saw the hurt and guilt in his eyes before he turned his attention back onto the road. Aunt Tasha seemed to sense something and didn't talk to either of us. I scrubbed furiously at my eyes, trying hard not to burst into tears once more.

Before I knew it, we were at one of the malls nearby. I jumped out and lagged behind both Dimitri and Tasha. He kept glancing back at me, as if to make sure I was still there. I refused to meet his gaze as we walked inside. To anyone, I just seemed like a moody teenager (which I was), while Tasha and Dimitri were the parents of this teenager.

Dimitri wandered off a bit while Tasha pulled me into the women's section. She randomly picked out a few dresses and then dragged me into the changing rooms to try them on.

"Rose," she said in a hushed tone when we were alone in the single room. "What is wrong with you and Dimitri?"

I shrugged. "Ask him."

"Rosemarie," she was getting serious. "I know a lot more than you think."

I glared. "Yeah, like what?"

"I know you love him."

That was totally unexpected. I looked away from her prying eyes. "Rose," her tone softened. "I know you better than that. I know my niece who's also a daughter to me. I see the way you two are around one another. I see how happy you are. Rose, what happened?"

Eventually, the whole story poured out. Besides Lissa, Tasha was like one of my friends. Not a mother. Not an Aunt. I loved her and I was glad I could share my secrets with someone else. She listened intently, ordering me to try on dresses so it seemed as if we were really there to do so instead of talk.

"Alright, sounds like you're in a sticky situation. I'm sorry, Rose, but I don't know what I can do. Although we are Royal, it doesn't mean people are going to stop being wary of us because of what happened with your parents. Try talking to Dimitri when you guys are alone. Just talk."

_Knock, knock. _"Are you guys still in there?" It was him. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.

"Yes, Dimka. We're almost done here and we can get something to eat."

"Sounds good," he replied through the door.

We heard him retreat and Tasha held up the last dress. It was such a midnight blue, it looked almost black. It shimmered in the light and had gorgeous, swirly designs in silver, going up and down, wrapping around places where my curves would definitely show, and bringing attention there. It was strapless, only going to be held up with my full chest.

"Oh, Rose, it's perfect for you!" Tasha exclaimed when I slipped into it.

The midnight dress was everything and more. It had a full, sweeping skirt as well as a tight bodice. It hugged all the right places and when I looked in the mirror, it showed off some sexy curves I had that was very rare to Moroi girls.

"We're buying it, no matter what."

I didn't exactly see the point of wearing such a beautiful dress for something I didn't care about. I kept peeking into the bag, looking at it. Dimitri and Tasha were chatting over lunch. I didn't feel much like eating, but like usual, I started eating as soon as I got the meal.

"Rose?" Aunt Tasha looked over at me. "I have to do some shopping of my own and then I have to go home. Dimka will take you home, all right?"

I stiffened and stared at her. The message in her eyes was clear: she wanted Dimitri and me to have some alone time to talk. Damn her.

"Fine," I muttered, scraping my chair back and swinging my treasures over my shoulder.

Dimitri and Tasha bid their farewells and he joined me. As I walked, I started to realize how loaded down I was with a bunch of shopping bags and how heavy some of them were. Not only that, but I carried a messenger bag over my other shoulder that kept a few items of mine in it.

I juggled the bags around, trying to relieve the tension in my shoulders. I wanted to ask Dimitri if he could hold some, but chickened out. We walked a bit further and then he said, "I can hold some." It was an answer to my thoughts.

I scowled, hating how he could get into my head and handed him a couple of the shopping bags. He appeared to notice once more what I was thinking and his familiar presence inside my head disappeared and I let out a relieved breath.

I kept my messenger bag close to me, not wanting it to disappear. There were some personal items in there I kept with me. Things that were a necessity. Things I could use, say, if Dimitri changed his mind and took me out of this place….

"I'm not going to take you away from the Court. You should know that by now."

We had reached the car by now and I brushed past him, tossing my bags into the backseat and slipping into the front. Dimitri slid into the driver's seat. His jaw was set; a sign he wasn't in the best of moods. I left him alone and he left me alone.

The Court loomed up in sight and I slumped further in my seat, hating the fact I had live here with almost no freedom. I peeked at Dimitri through my hair, which I was wearing. My chest ached. My body yearned for him. Yet, I wasn't just going to forgive him like that after he hurt me. The hurt was still there, buried under a sheet of numbness.

He helped me out of the car and grabbed hold of the shopping; hoisting them up over his shoulders and arms. I trudged up the stairs inside to my room. Of course he followed silently. I flopped back on my bed after dropping my bag off in a corner. I pulled a pillow over my head.

"Why are you still here?" I inquired, voice muffled by the pillow.

I removed it and saw the surprise in his eyes. He answered me: "Why not?"

I glowered. "Answer the question, Dimitri."

He sighed. "I honestly don't know."

"Well, you're my guardian, for one. But I don't think you're here because of that reason," I stated.

"You're right. I wanted to talk to you. Now that we're alone, it's inevitable."

"No. I don't want to talk about anything. Nothing."

He persisted. "We have to sooner or later. Rose, talk to me. Please," he was no longer my guardian. He was just…Dimitri…

Tears pricked my eyes as my anger and hurt spiked, washing the numb layer that had protected me from the harsh reality of my emotions. "No!"I shouted. "You just want to so you can stop feeling guilty about yourself, so you can move on. Why don't you go hit on my Aunt? I'm sure she likes you more than a friend. Go have a baby with her. I'll just go to the stupid ceremony and get married to Adrian. He'll love me, unlike you!" My voice cracked on the last sentence and the tears flowed once more.

He looked horrified and almost…mad. "Rose," he said sharply. "Where would you get an idea like that? Of course I care about you. Of course I still love you. Don't do anything you don't want to—"

"Yeah, what if I want to spend time with Adrian? Huh? He can give me everything I want."

Hurt flashed across his face. "No, Rose. I know you don't want to marry him. The bond tells me more than you're letting on."

"Get out!" I cried, the word coming out like a sob. "Get out!"

"Rose, listen to me!" he roared, really pissed off now.

"No, no I can't!" I sobbed.

I barely noticed as he moved closer. I did notice, however, when he grabbed my face and crushed his lips to mine fiercely, desperately. I couldn't help my nature, but to kiss him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his fingers tangled in my long hair.

When I had to breathe, he moved his lips to my neck and kissed the spot there softly. His hands moved down, pushing the top of my loose shirt down lower and lower. I groaned when he bit softly on my neck once more.

I pulled his shirt up and over his head, letting it drop beside us as his fingers lifted my own shirt and let it flutter down as well. I moved onto my knees and arched against him, kissing him harder, deeper as the desire and lust for him started to kick in.

His hands gripped my waist as he fell back, taking me on top of him, kissing the exposed skin. I could feel his pulse pick up, hear his breath hitch as I moved my lips along his skin to the crook where his shoulder swelled up to meet his neck.

I bit down just the slightest and he let out a groan. I let instinct take over and suddenly, I felt my teeth sink into his skin. He let out a startled gasp, but his hold on my waist got tighter as he moved to let me get a better angle. As I lapped up his blood that flowed, the sweet, hot taste burned into my mouth.

It was sexy, seductive, and hot. It moved into my mouth with a sweet and almost spicy tang that was all his. I loved how he tasted and…It came over me what I was doing. I started and my fangs nicked the bite wounds. Immediately, I staunched the flow by using my tongue to seal it up.

Moroi had saliva that usually closed up the bite wounds on our victim. I was no different. I moved back and I saw Dimitri put a hand to where the bites were, pulling it back, astonishment written all over his face. What had I done? What was I doing? What were _we _doing?

My breathing was fast and labored and his no better as he carefully sat up. I looked away from his lean, muscled body, trying hard not to get distracted while we both gathered coherent thought. I was half naked in bed with the guy I loved, the guy I was supposed to be mad at. He was twenty four nonetheless, and I was only a mere seventeen. Almost eighteen. Almost, though.

"Rose?" His voice sounded strangled.

I didn't look at him until he brought my face around to meet his. His eyes showed some of the lust from earlier, but also something else I couldn't quite figure out…

"Rose—"

"Go," I whispered.

He looked taken back. He blinked at me, obviously trying to fight the endorphin haze he was in from me biting and drinking from him. "What?"

"Get out of my room!" I threw his shirt at him.

He caught it deftly and just continued to stare at me like he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. Those feelings obviously ran through the bond, because finally he got up, slipping his shirt back on. He was muttering something that sounded like his native language: Russian.

Instead of putting on my shirt, I went into the bathroom with the clothes I slept in and changed into those, catching a glimpse of the dress I was supposed to be wearing tomorrow for my birthday…And the half dreaded ceremony with Adrian…

**Kay, so how was it? I thought it was an okay chapter. Not my best…And for those of you who don't really want Rose to be married to Adrian…I repeat: SHE IS NOT GETTING MARRIED! IT'S A CEREMONY! YOU WILL READ WHAT THE CEREMONY IS FOR IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. GOT IT?**

**I don't want to lose any of mah readers for a misunderstanding. After all, this is a DxR fanfic. 333**

**Luv ya all!**

**Collide-Howie Day**

**Treat Me Right-Pat Benetar**

**Wait For Me-Theory Of A Deadman**

**Need You Now-Lady Antebellum**

**Today Was a Fairytale-Taylor Swift**

**Fields Of Gold/Desert Rose-Sting**

**I Don't Wanna BE In Love-Good Charlotte **

**Fix You-Coldplay**

**Gunpowder and Lead-Miranda Lambert**

**White Flag-Dido**

**Reach-Caleigh Peters**

**Where Have All The Cowboys Gone-Paula Cole**

**Torn In Two-After We Fall**


	16. Expressing Feelings

I slept restlessly the rest of the night after I kicked Dimitri out of my room. I tossed and turned in my bed, getting tangled up in the sheets constantly, feeling hot and cold at the same time, feeling the empty ache in my chest, feeling nothing but anxiety and hurt. Eventually, I gave up on sleep and walked over to open up a window to let in some fresh air.

A shadow sprung at me and I screamed until they clapped a hand over my mouth, whispering, "Rose, it's me. Adrian."

He let go and I put my hands on my hips, glaring at him. "What the hell was that? You could've just knocked on my door, you know."

He shrugged with his trademark grin. "And what fun would that be, my sweet bride to be?"

I rolled my eyes. "As far as I know, it's only a bonding ceremony and we're not getting married yet. Which means no sex," I replied firmly.

"Who said I was here for sex?" he laughed. "I just wanted to visit you is all."

I sighed. "I'm really not in the mood for this. Can't you just wait to see me at the ceremony?

Of course I wasn't going to get married yet. The ceremony was to bind me to Adrian, almost like betrothed to him, though I already was. As far as I knew, it usually happened to certain Royal Moroi. If the bloodline was in danger of dying out, then automatically someone who applied to be betrothed (who was also a Royal) was checked to see if they had enough of that particular Royal blood to reproduce.

Lissa and Christian didn't have to worry since Lissa was the last Dragomir anyway. Both would improve either bloodline. Me? I was so lucky. Apparently, I was in a way since I had actually gotten Adrian, who was someone I knew and basically I thought had a stupid crush on me. So, yeah, I was both lucky and unlucky.

The actual guy I wanted was a dhampir, not to mention he apparently had no interest in me anymore. It was all so confusing and frustrating and I hated it.

"Hey, earth to Rose." Adrian waved a hand in front of my face.

"Huh?"

"Okay, so you're off in your own world."

I shook my head. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

He studied me. "Your aura is strange. Tainted with black darkness of some sort. Not only that, but it's undecided, like you have something else on your mind….Are you sure you want to go on with this ceremony? I can wait; it doesn't have to be right away on your birthday if you don't want it to be."

I shook my head again. "No, no. It's fine, really. I'm just tired that's all."

He stepped closer. "Would you mind doing me the honor of kissing those luscious lips of yours?"

I watched him with amusement. "Laying it on a little thick, are we?"

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me. Nothing special flared between us like when I kissed Dimitri. But, I felt a certain connection to Adrian. It wasn't love, lust, or anything, yet it was hard to explain what it was…

He didn't push me into anything and suddenly, I wanted him to. I wanted to feel loved by someone since Dimitri obviously couldn't let himself love me like I did him. I opened my mouth against his and he responded, although I could tell he was surprised at the change of heart.

The straps of the skimpy sleeveless top I wore slid down my shoulders, though Adrian didn't try and push me by taking my shirt off. In a way, I was glad he didn't. Although I couldn't have Dimitri, I still wasn't ready to give myself away to someone else just yet.

As we made out longer, a sudden rap on the door made us jump apart guiltily. Shit. A familiar presence in my head made me realize it was Dimitri. My attempt at the weak—getting stronger—barriers was gone since my emotions were overwhelmed when I was kissing Adrian.

I shoved him towards the window. "Go, it's Guardian Belikov," I hissed in his ear.

He kissed my lips quickly and I watched as he carefully scaled down the wall. I sighed and then picked my way over to the door, opening it up. I wasn't surprised to see Dimitri standing there, guardian mask firmly in place, save for some kind of emotion in his eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked him tiredly.

He exhaled. "Tasha wanted to make sure you were up. And…Rose, can I talk to you?"

I watched as his stern, stoic demeanor faded away and I saw emotions play across his face. I couldn't resist him, no matter how mad I was and stepped aside to let him enter. I sat on my bed, back straight, ready for anything…Ready for him to drop the bomb that he didn't love me at all. Ready for him to walk out of my life and claim he couldn't be my guardian, but just a friend like he always had been. I was ready for him to leave for good and not come back.

What I didn't realize was that he was taking in all my thoughts and that I had forgotten to throw up barriers. He shook his head and started muttering things in Russian, closing his eyes and leaning forward to put his face in my hands.

He finally looked up. "Why would you think that? Of course I wouldn't leave you. I'm always going to be here for you, Rose. I'll still be your guardian if you let me and I still love you."

Embarrassed, I threw up the shields and looked away. "Yeah. That's what you always say, comrade."

He let out a frustrated breath. "You're missing the point. I love you and I'm sorry if I haven't told you enough or made you feel that way. I'm not asking for another chance or anything. I'm not asking you to forgive me just yet. I'm asking you to consider it. I do still love and I'm sorry. But, how can I let myself love you if you're going to be bound to another? How can I still let myself love you when you're a Royal Moroi and I'm a guardian?"

I sat there and absorbed the whole thing, shocked. "Dimitri," I whispered brokenly.

That was all it took for him to walk over from the chair he was sitting in and wrap his arms around me. I inhaled his scent and buried my face in his shoulder, sniffing. Hesitantly, his arms came around me, holding me tight like they had all these years.

"Dimitri," I whispered. "How can I forgive you? You hurt me….You made it seem as if you couldn't stand me, like you were letting me have some fun by toying with me. I don't want to be bound to Adrian, but I have no choice. And then…" I couldn't finish up.

He inhaled and let it out. "I'm sorry. I really am." He tilted my face up to look me in the eye. "I'm not forcing you to choose or anything. If you don't want me anymore, say the word and I'll back off. If you want me gone, I'll leave. I'm not trying to make you choose, Rose."

I rubbed my arm over my eyes tiredly. "I want you to stay, but I need space. I need time to think."

He nodded. "I'll leave you alone then."

Dimitri started to get up, but I grabbed his sleeve. "Not yet. Don't leave me yet."

He turned his head to look at me and his eyes held a gentleness that I hadn't seen before. "All right. I'll stay for now." His eyes roamed my face. "You look like you haven't slept very well."

I didn't say anything, instead I asked, "Do you know when the ceremony starts?"

"Later today. You have time to sleep and I'll wake you up when it's time for you to get up and dressed."

Voices in the hall woke me up when I finally came around. I yawned and stretched myself out. I recognized the voices as Lissa and Dimitri. So, Dimitri was true to his word and stayed with me. I looked over at the clock and found that it was dark outside my window and nine at night.

The door creaked open and Dimitri came in, shutting it softly. When he turned, his eyes met mine with surprise.

"You're awake."

I just gave a shrug. "Yeah."

"I was just coming to get you up. You have about two hours to get out of bed and get dressed for the ceremony. So, you might want to get started."

I slowly pushed the covers back. "Where's Lissa?" I yawned. "I heard her talking to you."

"I told her you were in no shape to talk and that you were sleeping. She offered to help you out, but I said I'll have you call her later if you want."

I made a face. "I don't really want her in here right now. I just need some alone time. Not including you, though." I hastily added.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Why don't you go get dressed? You've got less than two hours."

I rolled my eyes, but grabbed the shopping bags that I had gotten. They held various things: New bras, my new dress, jewelry, makeup, hair things, as well as various other accessories.

I was quick to try on a few of the strapless bras that fit my chest. They were all good, but only one proved it would hold up the whole entire night. I put it on, deciding to wear it while I did my makeup and hair so I could get used to the feel of it.

I swept on glittery, smoky black eye shadow that made my blue eyes stand out even more. It had a stunning effect when I brushed some below my eyes and over my eyelids along with some black liner. I swept mascara over my eyelashes and I outlined my lips with a natural pink color and then swiftly started on my hair, knowing I didn't have much time.

My thoughts were confirmed when Dimitri rapped on the door. "Rose, you've got exactly half an hour before we have to leave the room."

I responded through the bond, not wanting to move my lips, which were pursed in concentration as I pinned my hair on top of my head. I curled and teased a few tendrils in front and to the side of my face. When I was done, I carefully removed my fingers from where they were positioned in my hair to hold it. I winced as I removed them, hoping that my hair would stay. When nothing fell out and nothing moved out of place, I grinned happily at my reflection, once again shocked at my transformation. My appearance was so different, aside from the fact that I had just woke up a while ago.

Now, it was time for the dress. I managed to slip it on with no problem, and it was everything and more. It looked so beautiful against my newly made up face and hair and I just stared at my reflection, wondering if that girl was really me…

"Rose, time to go!"

I still needed to zip up the dress, but I couldn't reach it. I opened the door and found Dimitri by the window. He heard me and turned around. The look on his face was absolutely priceless.

"You look…stunningly beautiful," he breathed.

I lowered my gaze and said, "I need my dress to be zipped up."

I felt his warm, calloused hands move to the zipper of my dress and zip me up. When I was all set, we left. My hand rested on Dimitri's arm as he escorted me down the stairs and into the lobby. Tasha and Lissa and Christian were all waiting. Everyone had dressed up for the occasion.

My brother was in a nice tux while Lissa in a simple, pretty pink dress. Tasha wore a blood red dress that really was stunning on her.

"Oh, Rose!" Tasha cried. "You look gorgeous."

I smiled; trying to go for the smile like Lissa's that didn't show the fangs. The girls fused over me, but the guys just waited until they were done. Lissa and Christian followed Aunt Tasha out of the lobby and I waited until they were gone before turning to Dimitri.

He gently removed my hand, giving me a slight bow and whispering in my ear, "I'll be back soon, Roza."

I looked into his eyes. "You will be back, right?"

He smiled a full, genuine one. "Of course I will. No matter how difficult it'll be for both of us, I wouldn't miss it for anything, beautiful Roza."

I grinned at him, looked around and then pressed my lips to his softly, whispering against them, "Hurry back, comrade."

**Jesus. I lied. The ceremony will be FOR SURE in the NEXT chapter. XD That was long and I was on a freakin' roll! Not even kidding…^^ Okay, I'm addicted to your reviews now, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKED, DISLIKED, ETC. Okay? Thanks, luv ya all!**

**SONGS:**

**Complicated-Avril Lavigne **

**Iris-Goo Goo Dolls**

**Omg-Usher **

**September-Daughtry**

**Crash and Burn-Savage Garden**

**Come Away With Me-Norah Jones**

**Consider Me Gone-Reba McIntire**

**Contagious/Love Drunk-Boys Like Girls**

**Listen To Your Heart-Roxette**

**Don't Trust Me-3OH!3**


	17. The Bonding Ceremony Begins

The ceremony was held outside in a gazebo thingy. Everything was decorated with lights and streamers and everything. The whole courtyard looked amazing and it was all for me and Adrian. Adrian. My stomach twisted nervously. I guess the bonding wasn't so bad as getting married, but still.

As if he knew I was thinking of him, Adrian came up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. My eyes widened, startled. I knew it wasn't Dimitri because he wouldn't do that to me unless I told him I was done thinking, let alone in public.

"Hey, you ready for your big day?" Adrian looked happy.

I plastered on a smile. "Oh, yeah. It's going to be great!"

He squinted for a moment. "Your aura is still a little off. You sure you want to go through with this? Like I said, we can wait for—"

I silenced his lips with a quick kiss. I was shocked at my actions, but he kissed me back nonetheless. I opened my eyes and pulled back, feeling horrified. It made me feel as if I was betraying Dimitri in a way…

_You deserve to have fun. Don't worry about me, I understand._

I almost yelped when the words ran through my mind. Of course it was only Dimitri, but I didn't notice him. _How can I go through with this? I'm eighteen, but I'm not ready for anything!_

I was panicking and Dimitri knew it. _Didn't Ivashkov say you both could wait another time? Tell him if you're not ready to go through with it. I'm sure he'll understand._

"You talking to him?" This time a startled yell escaped my lips when Adrian spoke to me.

"H-he who?" I stammered.

"Aw, come on, Rose. I'm not stupid. You brought Guardian Belikov back from the dead. You're a spirit user like me and Lissa. You're bonded to him." He folded his arms, raising his eyebrows.

I sighed. "Yes. I'm talking to him."

He had a wistful look on his face. "I wish I knew you as well as he does. He's been around your whole childhood and I just recently came into your life," he exhaled. "Oh, well. I'll leave you to it. I'll see you later." He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

_Dimitri?_

_I heard everything. _He didn't sound angry, at least. _Why didn't you tell him you're not ready?_

I made a face. _I'm all dressed up, everyone else is, and the whole entire courtyard is literally decorated. I think I can pull it off. Aunt Tasha knows about me and you, but she thinks I'm okay with Adrian, perhaps._

I felt him drifting from my mind. _I'll talk to you later, my Rose. Go have fun and don't give anything second thoughts. You deserve to be happy. Adrian will make you happy since I obviously can't._

My throat felt like it was closing up as I reached out with the bond, trying desperately to do the same thing that it allowed Dimitri to do. It didn't work. He was gone from my head and I was alone for real. What had he meant when he said Adrian could make me happy, but Dimitri himself couldn't? It almost sounded like a goodbye.

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and decided to do what Dimitri said. I went over and found people I knew. Everyone greeted and congratulated me. I was smiling on the outside, but on the inside, I was heartbroken.

Adrian was a really nice guy and charming, but then there was Dimitri. Total badass guardian, the person I just happened to be in love with. I loved Adrian, but it was more as a friend, but my connection that drew me to Dimitri was deeper, real love.

I continued to make my way over to the back of the whole thing where I found Adrian talking to an elderly Moroi who was going to act like a priest in a way and bind us together. When he saw me, though, he excused himself and came over to me, excitement written all over his face.

"You ready for the moment of truth?"

I smiled and for the first time that night, it was genuine, real. "As ready as I can be."

On cue, I heard the voice of the Moroi whose name was Jim. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I ask you to please take your seats so the ceremony that binds Miss Rosemarie Ozera and Lord Adrian Ivashkov together, can begin. Thank you."

Adrian took my hand and led me to the front where Jim was standing with a microphone in his hand. He positioned us so we were angled towards the crowd, but also facing one another. That was when I noticed that I didn't see Dimitri anywhere.

I looked around frantically, but didn't see him. As my eyes roved the crowd, I vaguely heard Jim talking briefly about me and Adrian. If Dimitri wasn't here, I wasn't sure if I could go on with the ceremony. Sweat coated my skin, suddenly. A cold, chilling sweat, yet I still felt warm.

_Dimitri…Where are you? _My thoughts were only a whisper.

His response was immediate. _Don't panic for any reason. I'm here. I'm watching you._

_Where? I don't see you anywhere._

_I'm closer than you think._

I was getting frustrated. _Dimitri, _I whined. _I can't do this if I don't know where you are._

_Do you see the guardians?_

I glanced around and saw the guardians lining the sides and open areas. _Yes._

_I'm by the entrance closest to your right._

I didn't have to turn my head to see him. I nearly gasped. He hadn't been there before. He had his arms folded across his chest as he watched me. His eyes held so many emotions when I looked at him. The main one was love and pride.

_I'm proud of you, Rose, for going through this for the sake of everyone else when you're not even ready. But, you have to get through this ceremony before anything happens, so I suggest you pay attention to Jim._

He inclined his head just the slightest and I quickly tuned into what Jim was talking about. He was now getting to the part where we would say some words to one another. And then share something else. And then bite one another to bind our blood…

Bind our blood? Oh, no. I would have to drink from Adrian, and he would have to drink from me. But, when he drank from me, it would mean he could read my blood and would know I bit Dimitri. But not only that, he would know I was desperately in love with my guardian instead of him….

Oh, fuck. Jim had turned to us and handed us goblets of sparkling water laced with wine. There was no blood, thank God. We clinked our glasses together and started drinking the water. My throat already felt tight and my stomach queasy. I so didn't want to drink this thing, but I had to. I needed to make it look like I was in love with Adrian.

So I downed the contents while Jim went on... "As our couple drinks the contents, this signifies the trust and devotion between them. The love and lust. The ups and downs. This signifies that both are willing to make sacrifices for one another…." On and on he went.

I just hoped no one noticed the burn in my cheeks from the words love and lust, or at least disregard it as embarrassment at the words. I caught Dimitri's eyes once more and he was watching me intently. I felt like I was out of breath. I felt like I couldn't go through with this. I felt like utter shit when the part where we had to drink one another's blood was coming up.

_Rose, focus. You can get through this. Go through until the end. If you made it this far, you can make it until the very end. Remember, you're strong; you went off alone to find and fight those Strigoi with barely any training. Remember who you are…_

I was astonished that he was talking to me so much through the bond, but either way I was grateful no matter what. I was still hurt over the fact he kept pushing me farther and farther away, but I could always count on him to be there for me.

"And now for a few words from Lord Ivashkov and Miss Ozera." Jim bowed and moved away from the mic.

I gulped as Adrian walked up to it. He had a sheet of paper set on the podium in front of him…The words that would bind us by heart. He waited for a moment and then, still angled slightly towards the crowd, but still facing me, he spoke.

"My dear sweet. I bind thou to thee. With these words I shall express my love and devotion to thee—"Then was the part where his own spin and translation of the rest of the speech came into play—"I hope to share the rest of my life with a pretty girl like you for as long as I live. I hope to be a great friend when you're in need. I wish to be bonded to you in more than one way."

He stepped back and the audience applauded. Damn. It was my turn. I found my paper already at the podium, thanks to Jim. I swallowed, but my throat felt awfully dry. I managed to find my voice, though, re-running through the speech in my head while Dimitri chanted it with me in my head, giving me strength to carry on with this.

"My dear sweet. I bind thou to thee. With these words, I shall express my love and devotion to thee. I hope to be the perfect person I want to be when I'm with you. I am happy to be bonded to you till this very day and hope to carry this on."

Mine was shorter in a way, but people obviously didn't mind this and clapped. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, fucking shit! Now was the blood bonding that I was dreading. I gulped as Adrian moved closer. I heard him breathe to himself, "Virgin blood. I wonder what it tastes like," he was musing to himself.

I suppressed and eye roll and watched him warily as Jim once more took stage. "Now for the moment that has been long awaited and a tradition among our ancestors: It's time for the blood bonding. Both Moroi will have to drink each other's blood to bind them. Legend has it if they refuse this now, and they want to be bonded, they must find another time to do so.

"Now, this may be a private thing, or public, but these two have decided to make it public as far as it goes. Legends also have it that if the female is a young girl at the age of eighteen or younger, like Miss Ozera, they might not be ready to bind their blood just yet and have the right to refuse their love to drink from them. Often, the young man will wait to drink from his love another time, or allow her to drink from here, while her neck remains untouched.

"Now, we need silence in the audience while our couple decides what they're going to do. If you'll please stay still and in your seats quietly, our couple will begin the blood binding."

A hushed silence fell over the crowd and that made me all the more scared. Adrian stepped closer, baring his neck. "Ladies first," he murmured. "Unless you want to hold off…?"

I shook my head. I looked to Dimitri once more and his slight nod confirmed I should do what my heart told me. Right now it was telling me I needed to drink his blood, but refuse him drinking mine. I took a deep breath. Before I did so, I whispered, "I'm not ready for you yet."

He smiled at me lazily. "We can wait for that another time."

I lowered my fangs and ever so slightly bit in. I didn't want to do in deeper, but I had to pierce the skin enough where I could drink his blood. His blood was sweet and all, but I wasn't focusing on the taste. The thought of drinking someone's blood other than Dimitri's was revolting and making my stomach churn.

But, I did it. With Dimitri lending me his strength, I managed to drink and then staunch the flow of blood, wiping my mouth. Cheers broke out and the bonding ceremony was over. It was done. But no complete yet.

**Phew. Another chapter in the same day. I'm getting good again! XD And this one was nice and long compared to past chapters in LL&T. XD Be happy since I updated twice today. Now, I expect LOTS and LOTS of reviews. Please? I needa know how it went here peoplez!**

**SONGS:**

**Urgh,..I lost track again.**


	18. The Talk

There was, of course, an after party. I was approached by some people who came over and congratulating me on mine and Adrian's success. Dimitri was nowhere to be seen and while an older Moroi girl (a Drozdov), talked to me, I was polite and made conversation, but my eyes kept darting around, looking for Dimitri.

Finally, I spotted him talking to Aunt Tasha. Both of them were off in a corner talking privately. From the expressions on their faces, neither of them seemed happy. They were deep in conversation, but Dimitri, obviously feeling me through the bond, looked up and met my eyes.

Tasha followed his gaze and she snapped at him, storming away with an angry expression on her face. I was startled by her bad mood and excused myself from the Moroi girl, stalking in the direction of my aunt. I didn't see where she went and I turned around, frustrated.

I realized that I couldn't see Dimitri anymore, either. Great, now I was pretty much stuck at my own party. A prisoner nonetheless. How sad. I was in no mood to be stuck at the party where people kept coming up to me and talking about future plans with Adrian.

As I headed back to the tent, someone called my name.

"Rosemarie, there you are." It was Eileen.

I had known her growing up because she was another Royal. But, she was like a second mom to me besides Tasha and had wisdom my aunt could never give me. Eileen also had been through experiences that were tough. I had heard many stories from her and some situations were similar to mine….

"Hello, Lady Dashkov."

She waved off my greeting. "Child, you've known me for a long time. No need to be formal just because we're in formal setting. Now, I see a frown on your pretty face. Is something wrong?"

Damn. This woman also had a knack for figuring things out. Don't get me wrong, I loved her like she was part of my own family, like a real mom, or grandmother I didn't have. Although she was awesome, I was in no mood to talk to her at the moment and tried to brush it off.

"Oh, um, it's nothing. I'm just trying to find my aunt…"

She put her wrinkled hands on her hips. "Dear, there is something more to your frowning face and we both know it. Spill."

I glanced around and saw that a bunch of people were giving us stares and whispering. Eileen pretended not to notice them and beckoned me to a more secure, private spot that would allow us to talk without people interrupting.

Eileen had once been Victor Dashkov's wife. Unfortunately, he proved that he was a criminal by attempting to capture me and Lissa because we wielded the element spirit. HE almost succeeded, but last minute guardians had showed up when we were little because we had been screaming. Victor tried to shut us up, but I was a fighter and managed to fend him off until the guardians took him away.

He had been locked in an ancient Moroi jail known as Tarasov. From what I heard, it was the worst prison yet. Victor had a rare disease and wanted us to heal him for good. We didn't know what we were capable of then, so me and Lissa were confused when he kept saying to heal him and send the power to him.

Now, Victor had rotted away in that jail. Yes, he was dead. That still didn't stop people from looking weirdly at Eileen as if she too might try something. But just like with Dimitri, I trusted her. I felt safe with her and could talk to her.

"Alright, child, tell me what's on your mind."

I took a deep breath and everything poured out. "Eileen, I don't love Adrian in the way everyone thinks I do. I mean, sure I love him as a friend, but that's it. I'm in love with one person. And one person only. And…well…we're kind of bonded, too…I love my own guardian, the one who's supposed to protect me at all costs, and yeah he'll still do that, but how can we focus on anything when I just had the bonding ceremony with another man?"

Everything from my heart came out and I opened up fully for the first time in years. Eileen simply listened and didn't judge me or say another word until I was completely finished telling my tale to her.

"Child, why didn't you come to me sooner? You know you can talk to me anytime you want. And let me tell you something I haven't told a single soul: Rosemarie, I loved my guardian too."

I was astonished. "You? You were in love with your own guardian? Holy crap!"

She nodded gravely. "I was in love with him and vice versa, just like you are now. I was hoping it wouldn't happen to you, but it did."

"What happened then? You were married to Victor…"

Her face darkened. "That bastard. I never wanted it, but the bonding went on for us and I was officially 'married' to him. I thought he was charming at first, but after getting power hungry and what he tried to attempt with you and Vasilisa, then I knew he wasn't as charming as he appeared to be."

I struggled to form my thoughts into words. "So you're saying that the same thing happened?"

She cocked her head to one side. "Almost. The guardian I loved refused to try anything with me because back then, let's just say things were very different for us."

I absorbed everything she had just told me. Don't get me wrong, I was actually pretty surprised, yet some part of me knew that she had to experience something forbidden and had to go through something traumatizing to get so wise in her old age.

Just then, Dimitri appeared out of nowhere. I let out a startled yelp when he mysteriously made himself known. He held his hands up in an apology.

"I'm sorry to interrupt."

Eileen got to her feet and grinned. "Oh, we were just about done talking anyways, right Rosemarie?" With a quick wink for me, she soon left.

Dimitri sat down beside me as I rubbed my arms when a chilly wind blew. He draped his coat around my shoulders and pulled me to him. I tugged the jacket closer, taking note of the scent of his aftershave that always seemed to follow.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He didn't answer for a moment. "I came to find you. The star of her own party left," he teased half heartedly.

I could tell something was bothering him. "Is something wrong?" When he didn't I pressed on. "I saw talking with Aunt Tasha. Neither of you seemed happy…"

He turned and I saw something dangerous glint in his eye. "It's nothing for you to worry about."

I started getting mad. He could sense and his watched me warily. I stood up and tossed his duster at him, stalking back to the party. Of course, he reacted quickly and caught up to me.

"Where are you going?" he inquired.

He could easily look inside my head and I stared at him pointedly. His eyes widened when he finally checked the bond. "Rose," he sounded furious. "What makes you think she'll talk to you?"

I shot him glare. "Well, you won't talk to me and I deserve some answers since you're my guardian and love and Tasha's my aunt."

He grabbed my wrist and started dragging me the other way. I fought his hold as I yelped, "Let go! Where the name of hell are you taking me?"

I could he was pissed off, but at what, I didn't know. He kept towing me until we reached a secluded area, away from prying eyes. Finally, he released my wrist and I crossed my arms, waiting expectantly. He seemed to look right through me.

His eyes finally turned to mine. "You really want to know?"

My nod confirmed this. "Tasha's questioning my motives with you." His tone was flat and his eyes hard and burning.

I was still confused. "What's so bad about that?"

He exhaled in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "You don't get it. She thinks I'm toying with you. Playing around like someone my age might do with a young teenage girl who just turned eighteen today.

"She asked me what I planned to do and I told her it was up to you and what you wanted….Apparently, she wanted to know why I would let you go through the ceremony….I simply said it was a big event in your life and should experience it somehow.

"She's mad, Rose, and I don't think she wants you to have anything to do with me anymore. Just to be your guardian and nothing more…."

I took this all in, shocked. I had never known Dimitri and my aunt to fight, yet I could sense that there was more to this than he was letting on. Curiously, I attempted to stretch the bond, wanting to see if I could feel him the way he felt me. Of course, it only worked one way.

_Tell me, _I whispered in his thoughts, trying to compel him. _Tell me. There's more to it._

His eyes glazed over momentarily before becoming focused. I tried again, but he grabbed my arm and loomed over me, leaning down. Crap, I pissed off the Russian. And now I could see the anger that he normally kept in control spike.

"Do not ever use compulsion on me," he snapped angrily.

I was starting to get pissed off too. "Well seeing as how you're mad and won't say anything else when I deserve to know, it's kind of necessary, Comrade."

He didn't let go and his eyes flashed. "What more do you want me to say? That I'm fighting with Tasha because I love you? That the real reason I let you go on with the ceremony was to give you a chance at a happier life with someone who could improve the Ozera bloodline? That maybe, just maybe I want to take you away from this mess?" he was breathing heavily and mine was no better.

He leaned his forehead on mine, eyes boring into mine. Hesitantly, I reached up and pressed my palm against his cheek. "Dimitri," I breathed. "I don't want Adrian. I don't want anyone else. I forgive you. I don't care if you're not Moroi or Royal. I don't care about any of that shit. It's all fucked up."

Dimitri looked undecided. "Rose…"

"No, don't 'Rose' me. I mean it. I don't care about what everyone says or thinks. I want to get out of this place. I want to leave everything behind and just be as normal as we can be away from everything like Aunt Tasha."

Watching him, I saw him struggling with something and then he sighed, his warm, sweet breath fanning over my face. "Roza. Do you really? You could be hap—"

"No!" I cut in. "I'm not happy here unless I'm with you. If we leave, I have you as my guardian. The badass Russian," I grinned suddenly and he offered me a small smile.

"I'm sorry for getting mad at you," he said at last. "I'm just frustrated with your aunt."

I just nodded and then something jumped to me. "It's my birthday…and we're alone…"

He groaned, reading what I wanted through the bond. "Roza."

I waited. "Please?" I appealed to him.

He broke and I got my way. His lips were nowhere near gentle as they slammed into mine. A gasp escaped my lips as he pulled me up so he could reach me better. Instinctively, my legs wound around his waist.

Our lips moved in sync as always and I felt both of us get lost in the feel of the kiss. His hands traveled up, pulling down my hair from where I had styled it up earlier, but was now starting to come undone from the excitement.

Speaking of excitement…I could feel his through his black slacks. One hand supported my waist while the other slipped the straps of my dress down and down. I slid down, revealing my bra, until he pushed that down as well.

My own hands found his shirt and unbuttoned it swiftly, letting it drop to the ground. I pulled the zipper on his pants down, dragging it open, and I could feel something pulsing in me. In the most intimate place of my body.

I groaned as his lips circled my chest, not touching my breasts, not taking anything too far. I slipped mine into his boxers and stroked him gently. He gasped into my mouth and my fangs managed to nick his lip. I was about to pull back, but I remembered the taste of his blood…

…The sweet, hot, sexy taste of his blood that was all Dimitri…I moved in, wondering how far I could take things before he stopped us…

**Jesus. That was a long chapter. Well, there you go, I made it nice and long to make up for not being able to get an UD in so fast. I was originally gonna work on LL&T, but first off, I'm at a dead end with ideas at the moment for another chapter, and two, I'm really excited about this story.**

**Anyways, I might do a DPOV of this story as well, just like I do with everything else. ^.^**

**SONGS:**

**I See You-Leona Lewis**

**Incomplete-Backstreet Boys**

**The Shot Heard 'Round The World-Boys Like Girls**

**You'll Be In My Heart-Phil Collins**


	19. Arguments

I was hesitant as I gently nipped his neck, my teeth just barely brushing his neck, but enough for him to get the point. His response was to press my face closer to the hot, fiery pulse. I licked the area gently with my tongue, making sure it wasn't a major vein I would hit. When I was sure I wouldn't cause him harm, I started to sink my teeth in….

…Only to be interrupted by someone calling my name. "Rose? Rose, where are you, for God's sake?" It was Aunt Tasha.

"Derʹmo," Dimitri muttered.

He immediately set me down and I grabbed my dress from where it had slipped down onto the ground, feeling embarrassed for exposing so much of myself; even if it was for Dimitri. I slipped the bra back on before pulling on my dress and smoothing my hair.

Dimitri already had his shirt back on and his pants buttoned back up, swearing to himself in Russian. I knew a little bit of Russian from learning it in one of my classes, but not all the swear words. Still, I knew enough to know what Dimitri was saying.

"Where are you going?" I hissed when he slipped into the shadows.

I heard Tasha's footsteps coming closer and he shook his head frantically, putting a finger to my lips as out of nowhere, he grabbed me and shoved me against the wall, but gently. I was breathing heavily and so was he, although he tried to get in under control.

"Hello? Where is that girl," Tasha muttered coming around the corner, just as Dimitri stepped away from the shadows and leaned his head against the wall.

Aunt Tasha seemed surprised, her blue eyes going wide. "Dimka? I thought I saw Rose out here somewhere…"

Dimitri shrugged, "I haven't seen her."

"Oh, really?" She placed her hands on her hips.

Dimitri was wary and I could see it. "Why?"

She narrowed her eyes. "It's hard to believe that her _guardian _is standing here in the dark alone, without his Moroi. Where is she? I know you've seen her."

His eyes flashed dangerously and I cowered back against the wall. "Don't imply that it's wrong for me to be with her. I know it myself. Nothing can be done about love, Tasha."

I had to admit my aunt was very brave for standing up to the badass Russian God who was pissed beyond hell. "Dimitri, I know that, do you think I want to see her crushed? She's the last Ozera Princess after me and we're the only ones left. We may not be like the Dragomir's, or poor Vasilisa, but Adrian Ivashkov is perfect for improving the family. I may not want this, but it's out of my control. So don't go putting ideas in Rosemarie's head."

That hit home. She knew it too. The anger that had been there with me was now out of control as his control and temper snapped. "You think _I'm _somehow influencing her? What about you, her aunt? If I remember correctly, you were the one who pushed her into talking to me—"

"That's the problem!" Tasha yelled. "I didn't think it'd lead up to this! I thought she knew better than that!"

Dimitri stepped closer, everything about him pissed off and just damn angry. "Don't you _dare _pin this one her! She's only eighteen as of today. Today's her birthday and she doesn't need to hear this on an already bad day!" He grimaced as soon as the words were out.

Tasha simply gave him a grim smile and called, "Rosemarie, I know you're there, so get out here. Now."

Slowly, making sure I looked at least half decent, I trudged out. Without realizing it, I had been silently weeping while they fought, hating that they were only fighting because of me. Tears were still seeping out my eyes as I stood there, head down.

"Aunt Tasha," I began, but she cut me off.

"No. I know you heard everything and I'm to the point where I'll put in a request for you to have another guardian and Dimitri can be someone else's guardian."

My head shot up, horror filling me. "No…Don't…He didn't do anything wrong!" I shouted.

"You're right: _You _are to blame here. You ungrateful girl. I took you and your brother in because I care about you, but this is going too far. He's _supposed _to just be your guardian and nothing more. I should make you finish off the ceremony here and now. I'll just call Adrian and have him drink from you right now."

"Stop it!" I cried. "I'm not ready and it's my choice, not yours, so leave me the fuck alone!" I screamed, picking up the hem of my dress and taking off towards the building that held my room.

I made it there without running into anybody, and my face crumpled as I threw myself onto the bed, sobbing. I tore the dress off my body and tossed it somewhere in the room, removing the last of my ugly, uncomfortable clothes and slipping onto the floor, grabbing a sheet and using it to cover myself as I laid down and drifted off.

I breathed deeply, comfortable. Wait, comfortable? The floor…I shot up. I was in my bed, still naked, but the sheets were still wrapped tightly around me. I hadn't exactly been tucked in, but the comforter was peeled to the middle of the bed—over my body—where I was laying.

I stretched my arms out and my eyes roamed around the room, finding everything I had thrown around or trashed, picked up or placed neatly back in its place. Another look showed me that the door was slightly open a crack.

I sat up, taking the blankets with me, my hair falling in tangled waves in front of my face. Someone stepped inside and I peered through my hair, shaking some of it away. I didn't need to see who it was. A familiar presence in my head told me it was only Dimitri.

He turned around and I almost gasped at how he looked. Dark shadows circled his face; he had changed his clothes, but that didn't hide the fact that they were crumpled like they had been used too much; and his face was grim and exhausted.

"Dimitri," I breathed.

"Roza," he said, sitting down beside me.

Softly, he pushed my hair away from my face, looking at the mess I must be. "Rose, your aunt wants to—"

"No."

He looked taken aback. "I didn't even finish."

"I don't care. I don't want anything to do with her."

"Rose. Roza, she wants to talk with you. She wants to apologize."

A tear trickled down my face as I remembered arguing so much about my love life. About my life. Dimitri saw it and his lips brushed it away as he kissed my cheek, gentle as a feather.

"How did I get in my bed?" I sniffed, rubbing a hand across my eyes.

His lips twisted up into a ghost of a smile. "I came to find you, to make sure you were okay. You left your door unlocked and slightly open, so I came in to find you sound asleep on the floor with a blanket and nothing more. I carried you to the bed, but you wouldn't let go of me. You kept wanting me to stay with you and not leave you 'ever again'." He quoted.

I felt awful. "I kept you up all night didn't I?"

His fingers ran through my hair and brushed my face. "Nothing to worry about."

"You look so tired," I whispered.

He sighed. "I'll be perfectly fine."

"But…you stayed up watching over me…" I felt the magic in my hands, burning to heal him.

Apparently, the bond told him that and his eyes widened. "Roza, don't waste your magic—"

Too late. I pressed my palms onto his cheeks, making sure the blankets still covered me. I closed my eyes in concentration and I felt him being healed. Yet, I fell back against the bed, feeling tired. Dimitri looked better, at least, that was all I cared about.

"You need to worry about yourself too, my Roza."

I just shook my head. "Do I really have to talk to her?"

With a stern nod, he got up and shut the door behind him. I debated on getting dressed, but didn't feel like doing anything but sitting on the bed and waiting to see what my aunt wanted to say to me.

"Knock, knock."

I glanced away, feeling on the verge of tears. "What do you want?" I questioned harshly.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her sad expression. "Rose, I'm sorry. You're right. It's your choice and an intimate, private choice about who you love and how far you take the ceremony. I don't mean to push you into anything you don't want to…or rush you. Enjoy being eighteen. And I'm sincerely sorry it had to be your birthday that this all happened. Am I forgiven?"

I couldn't help it. I got up and hugged her tightly. She squeezed me back and I felt better now that everything was out of the way. She leaned back with a disapproving expression.

"Rose, you don't have any clothes on. And Dimka was in your room just now. And all you have are these blankets…"

I giggled. "You know how he is. He wouldn't take advantage of the situation no matter what."

She laughed as well. "You're right. He's too old for being twenty four with a naked girl alone in her room with the opportunity for him to take advantage of you."

"I heard that," Dimitri's lightly accented voice floated into the room and sent me and Tasha into fresh peals.

"Don't worry, Dimka, I'm positive she'll still love you anyway."

I was kind of shocked to hear that when she was lecturing me last night about that, but decided not to press the subject when amends were made between me and Aunt Tasha. Dimitri stepped in and Tasha gave me one more hug before leaving.

"So I'm not normal, huh?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes. "In my book, that's perfectly fine."

He smiled. "I'm glad."

"Um, Dimitri?" he turned to look at me. "What happened with you and Aunt Tasha?"

He sighed. "We compromised. I would let you choose who you want, but she wants you to hang out with Adrian a little longer before we decide anything else."

I nodded slowly. "All right. I can work with that."

"Good," he said and kissed me.

**Ok, so I gotta go like ASAP**


	20. Hanging Out With The Guys

Everything after that went by in a blur. A week passed and everything so far. Aunt Tasha had wanted me to hang out with Adrian and I did so. Dimitri wasn't present very often anymore and I wondered if it hurt his feelings that I hung around Adrian more than him. I was sticking to Aunt Tasha's compromise, and so was he.

"Hey, Rose. Earth to Rose!" Someone was waving a hand in front of my face.

I swatted it away. "What? I'm here now what do you want?"

He grinned. "Someone was off in La-La land," he laughed.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much, really."

Adrian didn't press for anything and we walked. I kept up the façade by holding his hand, making it seem as if we were really a couple. We were walking along the edge of the Court's campus. Spring was coming and plants were starting to bloom under our feet and over our heads.

As we approached a cherry blossom tree, movement out the corner of my eye, alerted me to someone there. Dimitri. I felt his presence in my head like always when he was near or watching over me.

_I thought you abandoned all hope of ever seeing me again, _I teased in my mind.

His chuckle filled my head. _No. Nothing could drive me away from you. _

_I haven't seen you for quite some time, Comrade._

_I was making sure you had space to think._

A giggle almost escaped my lips. _Aunt Tasha's right: You really aren't a normal twenty four year old guy, Dimka. _I was playing with him and he knew it.

I could just see him rolling his eyes. _I am normal, my Roza. Just not by someone else's standards. Now go have fun with him and I'll meet you later for dinner._

_Where are you going to be?_

_Go anywhere you want. I'll find you._

And with that, he faded from my head and I was left with Adrian staring expectantly at me. I knew Dimitri had left since he no longer was in my head, but I still felt as if a part of him was always with me no matter what.

"You talking to Belikov?" Adrian's question caught me off guard.

My eyes widened a bit. "Um…"

"Don't bother; I can see your aura."

"Oh. Right."

"You love him." He stated it like a fact, not a question

I knew I couldn't lie, but I tried. "How do you know?"

He offered a sad smile. "I can read auras, like you. Only I'm more experienced. Your aura lights up every time you're around him. Not only that, but your blood reeks of him."

I flushed. "Okay. So I do love him. What now? And how the hell do you smell him in my blood?"

He chuckled. "I know a lot of things. I'm surprised no one else noticed your blood smells off. At the ceremony, I had a feeling you'd refuse the blood drinking, but was surprised when you took it from me. Rose, you deserve to be happy. He can make you happy. I'll be nothing more than your friend."

I gaped at him in horror. "No, no. Adrian, it's not like that. I love him, but…I also care about you. I drank from you because I wanted to keep up the image we both have to hold for the government."

"You have a point. Still….I don't know how much longer we can keep this up in public. Why are you hanging around me anyway? I suspect it's not your choice…?"

I sighed. "Long story short: my aunt bit Dimitri's head off the other night and mine as well. She knows about Dimitri and me, but made a compromise that I should at least give you some kind of chance. And here I am. And you know what? It's not so bad."

He smiled. "I knew something happened when you, Belikov, and Tasha went off God knows where."

I grinned. It felt wonderful to have everything out in the open, but suddenly, a question that had been forming in the back of my mind, burned to be asked. "Adrian?" he turned to look at me. "Why did you go on with the ceremony then?"

He exhaled. "Well, for one it would be suspicious not to. I know you did the same thing. I could read your aura up there. I knew you weren't ready for all this, so I didn't pressure you into drinking from me. And another thing: I also knew somewhat about you and Belikov, so that's another reason why I didn't drink from you."

I sat down on the ground, resting my chin on my pulled up knees. "Everything is seriously fucked up," I mused.

He laughed. "Good choice of words, my friend."

We sat in silence for a while. I suddenly remembered I had dinner plans with Dimitri and turned to Adrian, my mouth open, ready to tell him, but he gave me a wry smile.

"Go on. I know you've got somewhere better to be." He winked and got up.

As he walked off, I called out, "Adrian. Thanks. Thanks for understanding."

He waved and I knew he was fine. Now for some food. I headed to the little café for some chai tea and a huge sub sandwich. As I waited for my order, Lissa and Christian came in chatting with one another. Lissa noticed me first.

"Rose!" she called, running over and throwing her arms around me.

I hadn't seen much of Lissa since the ceremony. I wasn't sure why that was, but both of us were busy with our own lives, I guess. I laughed as I pried myself off of her. "Thanks for attacking me," I joked.

She grimaced. "I haven't seen you in basically a week!"

I just rolled my eyes and took my food. Christian hadn't said a word yet until, "You got plans or something?" he sounded like he already knew.

I mumbled something incoherently. Lissa heard me, though. "Oh, I get it. Okay then." She sounded disappointed.

I felt bad. "What? Why? Lissa, I'm sorry."

She just smiled. "It doesn't matter. I've got Christian and you've got…" she glanced around nervously and I finished the sentence.

"I've got my guy." We both laughed.

"How about another time we go out and go shopping for once?"

"Sounds like a good plan, Liss." I shifted my food to the other arm and hugged her.

I kissed my brother on the cheek and said sternly, "Take care of her or I'll make sure I kill you."

"Yeah, yeah. Get lost already. Lissa and I have got better things to do," he claimed loftily.

I shuddered and took off, deciding I wanted to hang out in Dimitri's room. I stopped by my room first so I could take some necessary items since I wanted to spend the night with him. I decided that it would be too much of a pain and instead pulled on the clothes I slept in.

I picked my food back up and walked upstairs to where I knew his room was. I didn't really expect him to be there, but when I knocked, he was. He didn't seem surprised to see me and opened it wider, stepping aside so I could come in.

"Well, looks like _I _found _you_." I grinned.

He shook his head, a small smile on his face. "I was waiting to see where you were going, but when you decided to come up here, I stayed."

"Mmm," I answered.

I studied the sandwich and then after contemplating what to do; I broke it in half, handing Dimitri a piece. He took it and watched me with amusement all over his face as I dug into my sandwich.

I finished quickly, but Dimitri hadn't touched his. I looked at him quizzically. "Aren't you going to eat it?"

He chuckled. "I already ate before you came here. I was wondering if you were going to show up."

His words suddenly made me remember what Adrian and I had been talking about. I felt guilty for not telling him right away, but I didn't want to spoil his good mood. Realizing he could probably read it through the bond, I tried to hastily cover it up and threw up my mental shields, trying to keep him out until I could sort things out.

It didn't help. I felt a push on the mental walls and knew he was attempting to get into my head. "Rose," he warned. "What are you hiding from me?"

My lips quirked into a fake smile. "Nothing, Comrade. Just don't want to spoil the moment with…well the bond…Why not be normal for a bit?"

He raised an eyebrow and his eyes searched mine. I knew it already, though: He could see right through my lie. Besides, my walls weren't exactly the best yet and another mental shove told me that Dimitri was trying to break them down.

Of course, my nature took over and I fought back, squeezing my eyes shut and focusing on keeping him out of my head. Suddenly, my walls disappeared and I gasped as the full force of Dimitri filled my head. I pushed, I shoved, I did everything in my power to block him out.

"Rose, stop it now!" he said sharply.

I knew I couldn't disobey him and reluctantly quit fighting him, relaxing, but in defeat. I felt him brush my mind and he froze. I tensed.

"Rose?" I didn't look up.

"Roza, talk to me," his voice was smooth and his accent rolled thickly off his tongue.

His long fingers came and pulled my face up. "Why are you trying to hide it from me?" I knew what he was talking about.

"I thought you'd be mad," I mumbled.

He dropped his hand, but his arms pulled me up onto the bed with him. "You care about him."

"Yes, but Dimi—"

"No. Maybe I should back off for a while."

Horror filled me and I twisted around to face him. "No, no, don't think that you have to. I'm fine. He's nothing more than a friend and he already knows about us."

"Yes, I know, but why did you think I'd get mad?"

I shrugged, feeling very stupid all of a sudden. "I don't know, actually."

He laughed and I drank in the sound. "Roza. You never change."

I rolled my eyes. "Can we forget about it and talk about it later?"

"And what would we do?"

I grinned, feeling mischievous. "This," I said and pulled myself up so I could kiss him.

Our lips fused together and I felt happy, loved. Obviously, he wasn't going to take it as far as he had during the after party the day of the ceremony when Aunt Tasha had almost caught us in a compromising situation, but I felt happy just being with him, just kissing him.

I wanted to taste his blood again suddenly, and I pulled back, embarrassed. He looked at me curiously, eyes slightly glazed over with desire and love and lust. Realization flashed in his eyes when he read my feelings and thoughts through the bond.

He pulled my face back down, his lips moving on mine when he spoke. "My Roza, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You need blood. You crave it sometimes. It's understandable. You're Moroi."

I looked away. "Still. Now that I got a taste of you, I always want more. Next time, who knows how much I'll take when I bite and drink from you."

He took a deep breath, but didn't say anything, letting it out. He didn't kiss my lips, but his teased my skin, kissing, biting softly around my neck. A soft groan escaped my lips when I felt him kiss down lower.

His hands drifted to my pants and slid those off, while mine worked on his shirt, pulling it over his head. Excitement ran throughout my body as I came to the conclusion that I might actually lose my virginity to him at last.

I dragged the zipper on his jeans down and he yanked my shirt off. "Mm, Dimitri," I groaned softly.

His eyes were alight as he appraised my half naked form before him and pulled me on top of his chest. He angled my face to his neck and I hesitated, knowing it was looked down on in our culture, yet he was still willing to let me drink from him and I craved it myself.

My hesitation was brief and my fangs touched his skin before I pulled back. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Dimitri understood and didn't press me into anything, moving slowly so I could back down if I wanted.

Yeah right. Before I knew it, my bra had come off and his pants were on the floor with everything else. I was under him in a flash and his weight pressed down onto me, and I felt all of him. I was ready.

He had his fingers hooked in my underwear when urgent knocking on the door interrupted us. Both of us groaned and Dimitri got off of me, slipping into his clothes. I used the blankets to hide me as I lay down on the pillow, pretending I was asleep.

The door opened and I heard…Aunt Tasha's frantic voice.

**There you go. Nice, long chapter to make up for not finishing it so well last night. I wanted to do a better ending with the previous ch. But unfortunately had to get off the comp. xP Oh, well.**

**SONGS:**

**I know some of them, but I'm too lazy to list them out. xD**


	21. Attack

I tried to listen, but Dimitri slipped out of the room so I couldn't eavesdrop. Damn it, I needed to start being sneakier. As I listened, I could hear Aunt Tasha's frantic voice and Dimitri's calmer one. I thought something was strange, but dismissed the feeling as Dimitri came back.

The desire and lust and love that had filled his eyes were no longer evident as he quickly came in and shut the door securely behind him.

I sat up, using the blanket as a cover for my naked body. "Dimitri? What happened?"

He picked up my clothes and tossed them at me. "Get dressed. The Strigoi are back. Tasha said I have to take you, Lissa, and your brother out of here before they notice."

His voice was urgent and strained. He was stressed, which was something rare for him since he was always ready to protect the ones he loved. But something told me that there was more to it than just the Strigoi attacking. Before I could ask him since I knew he could read through the bond what I wanted to ask, he turned and disappeared into the bathroom.

Frustrated, I got dressed. As I pulled my stuff on, I could faintly smell smoke…Fire. There was a fire. Fucking hell. How could the Strigoi pull off a fire?

"Dimitri!" I yelled, coughing as the smoke reached the room.

He appeared almost immediately with two cloths. He took one and placed it over my mouth gently, tying it at the back so I could breathe easier. He did the same for himself and then pushed me out the door where smoke was evident everywhere.

Even with the fabric, my senses were too strong and the smoke wasn't doing me any favors. I realized I didn't know where I was going, even with my keen eyesight. I turned to find Dimitri and panicked when I didn't see him. Either the smoke was too thick or I took a wrong turn.

_I'm here, Rose. I'm not going to leave you alone._

_Dimitri…I'm scared._

I had stopped in the middle of a hall and felt relieved when I saw his familiar outline. He grabbed me and lifted me swiftly into his arms, hastily finding many back door ways and halls that lead outside. The air was a little cleaner and I could see easier, but there were still flames and smoke everywhere.

Dimitri took me into the Moroi dorms and kicked the door to my room open. Setting me down he said, _Find your messenger back and pack the necessities in there. Anything and everything it can hold: change of clothes, technology, anything that'll help us out while we're on the road. As soon as you're done, we're going to find the other two and Tasha. I'll be outside the door, so hurry up!_

He left and I searched the room anxious to find my bag. It was sitting on my bed, fortunately and it still had the things I normally kept, in it. My heart raced as I tore my room apart, taking only the most important things I could find. I took as many clothes as I could fit, took a hairbrush, my makeup, and a warm sweatshirt of Dimitri's that I hadn't given back to him yet.

When I was done, I took everything, stuffing it and closing the bag. I clutched the strap tight as I met up with Dimitri outside. I could keep up with him now that my eyes had adjusted to the smoke filled room. We were almost outside when something grabbed me from behind.

My scream rang out and Dimitri turned, and, quick as lighting, pulled his stake out. The Strigoi holding me laughed and tossed me behind him. I hit the wall, just barely keeping my head from hitting too hard. The impact still made it spin, though.

This Strigoi knew what he was doing and I watched as the two of them grappled. They fell onto the floor and Dimitri had just barely managed to stake him when another one approached, taking advantage. And another one grabbed me again.

I didn't think. I panicked. Magic shot out of my hands and I was astonished to find blue flames instead of something else. I vaguely remembered one of my classes with Lissa and Adrian. The teacher had said spirit was its own element, but was also a low control over the other four elements. It was hard to find enough power to try it and so much magic could drive us over the edge.

Yet, I had accomplished it and a slow grin spread across my face as I switched to air and then water. And then I used earth to make the ground near the Strigoi shake. I laughed gleefully and then remembered Dimitri. He had staked the last one and I had taken care of the rest. He looked shocked to find I could use all the elements, but said nothing else as we ducked out the door.

We raced across campus, occasionally stopping to hide against something when someone passed. We were at the edge when his phone rang.

"Belikov," he answered.

He listened for a moment. "All right. I'll take her somewhere safe and I'll have her call you when she can."

Flipping the phone shut, he glanced over at me. "Rose, it was Tasha. She already took Lisa and Christian with her. She said to take you somewhere, anywhere safe. And it looks like we'll be living like the humans," he added wryly.

I grabbed his hand. "What are you waiting for? Let's get going!"

We of course had to walk a distance before we found a place where we could get a car. As he drove, I wrinkled my nose, noticing how badly I reeked of smoke and sweat. A look at him told me he had some wounds that needed me to heal them.

I reached out and took his hand, sending the magic through. Startled, he stared at me. "Rose…"

I made a face. "Oh, calm down. It's not working that way anyways."

He shook his head. I looked out the window, wondering where we were going. He answered me, of course. "There's an old abandoned house your aunt told me about. It's still in good condition, but no one lives there anymore because it's a bit secluded."

So many thoughts ran through my mind at the word secluded and the thought of Dimitri and me alone. In a house. With no one else to worry about.

"Rose," he groaned. "Don't be getting any ideas."

I twisted in my seat to face him. "Too late, Comrade."

He sighed. It wasn't a very long drive and before I knew it, we had reached the house. It was simple and he was right about it being slightly secluded with a bunch of trees surrounding it. He turned the ignition off and I hopped out eagerly.

It was almost country-like with a western feel. It even had shutters over the windows and the house was a plain, country white. The door was a faint, peeling green and when I opened it, expecting a musty smell, I was genuinely surprised when it simply smelled of nature and wood.

"Hey, Comrade," I called. "This looks like something that could come out of those western books you read!" I teased.

His arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "And how would you know?" he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling me.

I shrugged and pulled out of his embrace, yawning. It was a one story house, but still pretty big. I found the bedroom and only saw one bed. I was a bit nervous about sharing a bed with him, but it faded when he came into the room, placing a kiss on my forehead and taking my bag.

"Why don't you go shower?" he murmured. "Then you can sleep."

My eyelids were drooping and I yawned again. "Sure thing, Comrade."

He rolled his eyes as I took out his sweatshirt and clean underwear. His sweatshirt was big enough to cover me and I had a feeling that the house would be pretty cold during the night.

As I stepped in, the water was pleasantly warm and soothed my muscles as I used my shampoo to wash away the smoke and dirtiness from my hair and body. I scrubbed myself clean, turned the shower off, stepped out and toweled myself dry. I slipped into the sweatshirt, feeling cozy and noticing how it smelled like Dimitri's aftershave.

I came out and found Dimitri laying on the bed, eyes closed. They snapped open when I climbed into the bed with him, pressing close to him and stretching out. A small smile touched his lips and he pulled me close to him. I didn't drift off right away.

"How long are we going to stay here?" I mumbled sleepily.

I felt him take a breath. "I don't know, Rose."

"Won't someone come looking for us?"

"No."

"How come?"

"Because there will be too much destruction at the Court for them to care about coming after us. They'll just think we're either dead, or taken away."

"Oh."

It was silent between us and the he asked, "Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?" his tone was teasing, joking with me.

I smiled, my eyes closing. "Because it's comfortable and cozy. And it reminds me of you."

He chuckled. "Of course it does."

It was dark outside when I woke up. I was still in Dimitri's arms, encased tightly and pressed up against him. I carefully moved his arms and then leaned over, kissing his lips softly. He stirred, but he continued to sleep peacefully and I left him alone.

It was so perfect being here with Dimitri and everything alone. He always took care of me no matter what happened and was always there for me when I needed him. I trusted him with my life like I would no one else.

I loved him with all my heart and hoped he felt the same way about me…."Of course I do, Roza."

Lost in thought, I hadn't heard him, and jumped, spinning around to find him standing there. I smiled sheepishly. "I thought you were still sleeping."

He shook his head. "No."

I walked over and placed my head on his chest gently and he hugged me tight. "What do you want to eat?" he wondered.

I sighed. "I don't care as long as we get some food."

He thought about it and then said, "Go get dressed. We'll go find some take out and go shopping tomorrow."

"Mm, can we go later? I just got up." He chuckled when he took in my appearance.

"What do you have in mind?"

A lazy grin spread across my face. "This," I stated and then leaned up to kiss him.

**Mm, this was more of a filler chapter I think…Not very good, and I'm sorry. But now you know what's goin' on. xD**

**SONGS:**

**This is Where I Belong-bryan adams**

**I need you tonight-backstreet boys**

**No air-jordin sparks and chris brown**

**And there are some more I cant remember**


	22. Not Quite Ready

He kissed me back for a moment before taking my face in his hands, taking a deep breath, and pushing me away. I stared at him, shocked. We were alone, yet…I should've known he wouldn't take advantage of the situation. He almost never did.

I stepped away and crossed my arms, scowling. "Now what?"

He sighed. "Now is not the time, is what. Let's go get something to eat."

I didn't even bother try talking to him, the rejection loud and clear. I stalked to the car and yanked open my door, turning away and pointedly staring out the window as he put the key in the ignition. The car backed out of the driveway and we were on our way to town.

I was silent the whole way as he drove to a grocery store close enough for us to get home, but still far enough where we had little chance of recognizing someone. I yawned and hopped out of the car when it was parked and slipped into the automatic doors, impatiently grabbing a shopping cart.

I knew Dimitri would probably get mad if I took off somewhere, even with the bond. When he came in, he was talking on his cell phone. I growled to myself in frustration and pushed the cart roughly down the cereal aisle, randomly taking one that didn't have any fruits or vegetables or anything in it, and tossed it into the cart.

"That was your aunt," Dimitri's voice floated to me as he walked closer to where I was.

I nodded and continued pushing the cart as he continued. "Rose, tomorrow we're going to meet up with them and take both you and Lissa shopping. Is that alright?"

I shrugged and was about to reach for some donuts or something, when his hand shot out and caught my arm. His eyes were flashing and frustrated as well.

"Why aren't you talking to me? You haven't talked to me for half the day," the answer was in my head and up until now, I had had the mental shields up.

He broke through them and my feelings and thoughts poured into him. Embarrassed and my cheeks flaming, I attempted to keep pushing the cart, but couldn't escape his grasp. I tried to shake his arm off. "Let me go," I snapped.

He looked hurt, but continued to stare into my eyes, holding my gaze. Slowly, his hand came up and slipped under my chin. "Rose, we just ran away from everything we've ever known. The Royal Court was just attacked last night and we just barely managed to get out and find somewhere to stay. You know why I have to say no. You know now isn't the time to focus on each other."

Finally, I broke free of his gaze. "Doesn't matter," I mumbled.

He dropped his hand. "It does matter. Next time. I won't say no. I'm saying next time when we settle down a bit more. Just wait."

Touché. I glowered and crossed my arms as he took the cart. "Rose, find some food. You can get anything you want, but hurry up. I don't think they're open any longer."

I did as he asked and found some more food, filling my arms with stuff and dumping it in the cart. When Dimitri saw that all I had gotten was mainly junk, he just shook his head and continued to the checkout counter.

And elderly woman was there and kept glancing at me. When Dimitri paid, and we were at the car, I swatted his arm, forgetting my earlier anger. "Dimitri!" I exclaimed. "I could've helped paid for it, you know."

He chuckled softly. "You need to save it for tomorrow. I have a feeling that you and Lissa will need all the money you can get."

I made a face and then another brilliant thought popped into my head. Knowing he had read it through the bond, I looked pleadingly at him. He looked like he was fighting some kind of inner battle and I had to make sure that I won this one.

"Please, Dimitri? Can we at least give it a try?"

"Rose…" he sounded like someone was strangling him.

"Please? Once. If it doesn't work I'll wait."

"Rose, you do know if something happens, you can somehow end up with a baby you don't want at your age."

I thought about it, nodding slowly. "I know."

He sighed. "What day do you have in mind?"

I pondered some days. "Tonight."

His grip on the steering jerked and he stared at me for a moment. "You're sure?"

I glared at him. "Yes, I'm sure."

He sighed and continued driving. We were both silent until he pulled into the driveway, taking in the groceries and putting them away. I was nervous and anxious to try this new compromise. Some inner voice was telling me I wasn't ready for this yet, but I pushed it away.

Dimitri purposely stayed out of my head to give me privacy. I knew he was stalling when he moved more slowly, getting to the very last bag that needed to be emptied out. I impatiently waited, trying to contain and compose myself. It was very unnerving to know I would actually get to make love with the one guy I loved. Who knows, maybe Adrian and I would come to some sort of compromise.

"Are you ready?" Dimitri questioned for about the hundredth time.

I tapped my foot impatiently. "Yes, of course I am."

I finally gave up waiting and headed to the bedroom searching around for the protection I had managed to sneak into the cart while Dimitri shopped for some healthier choices. And then it hit me. The old lady at the cash register had been looking at me weirdly and I knew why now: She had most likely seen the protection and questioned our ages and relationship.

Not only that, but Dimitri did actually look his age, which was definitely older than me. I looked younger than him, something I didn't exactly have to worry about in the vampire world. Damn, maybe living with humans would be harder than I thought.

"Rose?"

I startled, jolting up from my position on the bed. His eyes still held the question if I was ready. I nodded to show him that I was ready to begin. He slipped onto the bed with me and pulled my face close to his so I could feel his hot breath on my face.

Nervously, I waited for him to make the first move, not at all experienced and still young in a lot of ways. I didn't have to wait long for the contact of his lips as he pressed them hungrily against mine. I let out a sigh of happiness and fell into blissful oblivion as his lips worked magic on my skin.

Instinct moved my hands to his shirt and tugged it over his head, taking it and throwing it off somewhere in the room. My shirt was gone in a flash and he laid me down on the bed, hovering on top of me, supporting his weight until I pulled him down on top of me.

I had to move away from his intense kisses to breathe and, as I did, I felt his teeth pulling at my skin near my throat, teasing, seductive. A soft moan left my lips and I wanted to cover it up, heat filling my face, but soon disappearing when he tried to get another one from me.

Our breaths echoed around the empty room as I struggled with the zipper on his jeans, gently dragging it down soundlessly. His lips captured mine once more, kissing me urgently like never before, like he needed me to live.

Before I knew it, he had pulled my pants off me. "Roza," he breathed deliciously against my lips.

"Mmm, Dimitri," I sighed into his mouth.

Slowly, his hands slid up my arms and then around my back to where the clasp was. He hesitated and I reached around to move his hands over the clasp, telling him that I wanted this. He released the clasp and my bra slid down my arms and onto the bed where Dimitri took it and tossed it away.

His eyes roamed my body, appraising my appearance. Yet, though I loved it, that same inner voice came back and told me once more that I wasn't ready for this. If something happened and I somehow got pregnant, I wouldn't be ready for all the responsibility and everything.

I shoved that voice away once more and continued kissing Dimitri's warm, soft skin, slipping my hand just barely into the waistband of his boxers. He shuddered at my touch and I dipped down lower until I could feel him. I grabbed him and he let out a startled sound, his teeth biting down on my lips ever so slightly.

He hooked his fingers into my underwear and I was left completely naked in front of him. I felt a little bit shy and self conscious, feeling the urge to hide myself. His fingers trailed my body as I moved my own hands up his chest and around his neck.

I nipped at his skin, noticing that there were no bite marks, thanks to the infrequent bites from me. I wanted to taste him again, but I didn't want to do it without permission and I certainly wasn't going to do it now. Something stopped me, and I wasn't sure what it was.

I slipped his boxers off finally and excitement tickled me when I realized this might actually be the time I would lose my virginity. He didn't push into it right away and I had the protection right beside me on the table just in case.

Our hips were so close and I felt impatient. I kept myself controlled and kissed him harder, hungrier, letting him know that I wanted it. His tongue danced around the edge of my lips, ignoring when I thrust my pelvis up towards him, longing for the contact I so wanted.

His hands rubbed and teased my skin as his teeth pulled and nipped at my skin. His fingers grazed the underside of my breasts and I let out a strangled breath. As he continued to explore my body, the feeling of not being ready, hit me.

As his hips neared mine again, I pushed him away, off of me as the reality of the situation hit me. My hormones were going out of control and I bit back a sob, feeling horrible for leading him on. His senses kicked in immediately and he pulled back.

"Rose?" he asked, bewildered.

"I need…I…can't do this," I sobbed, pressing my palms against him until he leaned back all the way and I could squirm out.

I put a hand over my mouth to stifle the sobs that threatened to break loose and raced to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I slid down to the floor, wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

Dimitri didn't talk to me and didn't invade my head, giving me my privacy while I sorted things out. My body was ready for him physically, but was I emotionally ready to have sex with him? Was I really ready to make a sacrifice if something did happen and I somehow ended up with a baby? The answer: No. I was not ready at all.

There was something else and I realized it was loyalty to Adrian. I loved Dimitri, but I also cared about Adrian since I'd known him for quite some time. I was drawn to him in a different way than with Dimitri, but it was still enough to stop me.

Tears were streaming down my face and I just sat curled up on the cold floor for God knows how long until a knock on the door startled me out of my misery and guilt. I reached up and unlocked it, not caring if I was naked, knowing he had seen my body already and countless times when I was little and needed his help in getting my clothes on or off.

"Roza?" his voice was a soft whisper.

I took a deep shuddering breath and he gently pulled me up, taking my arms and gingerly placing them into my robe, which he had retrieved. He led me out and sat me on the bed. He was dressed in pajama pants, but no shirt.

_Do you want to talk about anything, my Roza?_

I shook my head, tears threatening to flow once more. I threw myself to him and buried my head in his shoulder while he held me close and stroked my hair, murmuring to me in Russian. This continued for a while before I was finally calm enough to at least attempt to talk to him at last.

**Grr. Now it's sounding a little bit like Twilght. Well, just bear with me please! It wasn't supposed to sound like that, but it's not quite like it. Anyways, now it's not Dimitri who's the problem. It's now his Rose. ^.^;; Don't kill me, please!**

**REVIEW? PLEASE? IVE BECOME ADDICTED NOW!**

**SONGS:**

**Fall For you-Secondhand Serenade**

**Heaven Can Wait-We The Kings**

**Superman (It's Not Easy)-Five For Fighting [One of my FAVE songs!]**

**Stand in The Rain—Superchick (Another GREAT GREAT song I love!)**


	23. Pouring Out Feelings

I poured my heart out to him finally. He didn't interrupt and listened like he always did. I did notice his face darken when I mentioned that I cared somewhat about Adrian. I hated to do this to him, but even without us having the bond, he always had a knack for figuring and getting things out of me. After all, he'd known me since my childhood.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" he sounded mad, but I didn't look up from where I had my head resting on his shoulder.

I shrugged. "I don't know?"

He sighed, sounding frustrated. "I knew it. I knew you weren't ready for this. And yet I push you into it," he was muttering to himself.

The couple sentences were in English and then he switched into Russian so I wouldn't understand him. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. His eyes flashed down to mine and I realized his guardian mask was firmly in place. I felt so horrible for leading him on and then telling him I wasn't ready.

Maybe Dimitri did have his reasons for pushing me away before things got too much. He didn't want me to deal with an unexpected pregnancy or he just wanted me to avoid…This…I wondered how he could still love me after what I did, wonder how he could still stand me.

The bond tipped him off to my thoughts and he pulled my face back up to look me in the eyes. "Rose, I still love you. I always will. Nothing will change that. But," he hesitated. "If you want him, I'll let you go and be nothing more than your guardian."

I shook my head furiously. "No, no. Of course not. Just…"

He didn't push me into talking and I had to struggle to get my thoughts into words where I could explain it clearly to him…. "It's just that…Well, I don't know. I love you, but I also care about Adrian….I've known him for a while, though not as long as you." It didn't make sense, but the feelings through the bond once more alerted him.

"I get what you're saying," he murmured quietly, still holding me. "I'm not going to make you choose—"

"That's the problem!" I yelled. "I can't choose between you and Adrian, two guys I care about. God, this is too complicated." I rubbed my forehead, unable to go further with my thoughts.

Dimitri was silent. I wondered if I had hurt him in some way, but he looked down at me and gave me a ghost of a smile. "I'm fine, Rose. Just thinking."

I nodded slowly. Man, all these things were making me tired. I was slowly starting to drift off into sleep. "Dimitri?" My voice was sleepy and soft.

"Hmm?"

"Are we ever going back to the Court?"

I heard him sigh as my eyes closed. "I don't know."

It was the last thing I heard before I drifted off into the black confinements of my mind. It was comforting at first since my thoughts shut down, but I felt myself in a familiar place…

"Jesus Christ. Can't I go one night with a peaceful sleep?" I complained.

Adrian stepped out from the shadows, a grin on his face. "How many times have I told you? Of course you're sleeping. It's a dream, Rose."

"And I'm tired of talking to you." I rolled my eyes.

He laughed. "It must be my charm. It's wearing you down."

I shook my head. "I think you're slipping into major crazy mode."

"I am not," he denied indignantly.

We were quiet and I sat down on the sand. Adrian had decided to put us on a beach that was beautiful and sunny. The ocean water lapped up against the rocks of a Cliffside and I just wished it was something real.

"Rose?" I turned to Adrian who looked hesitant. "Tell me: Do you really love him?"

I bit my lip and turned away. "Yes, I do." I said softly.

"But you care about me? Maybe just a little?" asked Adrian.

He sounded hopeful, and unfortunately, he had all the reason to hope. "Yes. I do care about you. I don't know if I love you in the same way, but I care about you."

His green eyes flashed up to my face. "You're serious?"

I shrugged. That was all it took for my conformation. I sighed, wishing this wasn't so hard, wasn't so complicated to choose between the two men I loved and cared about.

"All right, fine. I guess I do love you in a way. I don't just care about you now…" I hated to admit the words.

He smiled sadly. "But is it enough to overcome the love you have for Belikov? I mean he's been with you for the longest time. I was only in a part in that chunk of your childhood."

I let out my breath. "I don't know, okay? I just don't know anymore."

I wanted to add more and possibly tell him about my newfound powers, but the dream started to waver, meaning that it was coming to and end.

"I'll see you later, Rose. You're waking up." He came over and kissed my forehead.

My eyes opened to complete darkness and I wondered how long it had been since I had fallen asleep. I looked over, wondering if Dimitri was sleeping, but he was awake and staring off into nothing, his eyes unfocused. They refocused on me and he didn't seem surprised to find me awake.

"You heard." It was a statement.

He winced slightly. "Unfortunately."

I exhaled. The things that came with being a spirit user. Dimitri had the ability to slip in and out of my head when he wanted, unless I shoved him out. I hadn't even realized he had been watching through me until I saw his eyes.

Which basically meant: he had seen and heard my conversation with Adrian. Damn, it wasn't meant for him to hear. I should've paid closer attention and shoved him out of my head when I got the chance. I could tell I had hurt him slightly, and he didn't try and deny it as the thought flitted through my head.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, reaching up to brush my hand against his face.

He hadn't shaven for awhile and the stubble felt rough and sexy against my palm. He was also dressed like he was going somewhere in a plain T-shirt and jeans. I moved so that I could embrace him, not caring if he welcomed it or not.

His hands wound around me. We stayed like that for a while longer before he gently disengaged himself from me. He gave me a small smile and gently pulled me up.

"I don't know if you like wearing that all day, but you might want to get dressed."

"Are we going somewhere?"

He shrugged. "A walk, perhaps?"

I thought about it and then nodded. "Sounds good."

"All right. I'll be outside." Dimitri turned and was soon gone from the room, shutting the door behind him.

I found the clothes I had been wearing before he had taken them all off. I slipped into them and then studied my reflection in the mirror. I had slept on and off throughout the day, emotionally and even physically exhausted. My face was haggard and drawn like I was just weary. My eyes were bloodshot, but it was fading. The worst thing was my hair.

It was a total mess that I needed to clean up. I took my brush and carefully ran it through my dark hair, trying to get the worst of the knots out. After that was done, I pulled it up into a brutal ponytail, knowing it wouldn't go well left by itself.

I had some my makeup with me and managed to work wonders on my face. I applied some cream to my face to keep it healthy and protect it from the elements. A little bit of concealor helped to cover up the worst of my face and I applied some lip gloss to help out my lips. I swept mascara over my eyes, coating it another time and lining my eyes with eyeliner, not bothering with anything fancy.

I studied my appearance in the mirror and pursed my lips to make sure they looked all right. I snatched Dimitri's silver stake that he had forgotten to take with him and opened the door. I was kind of shocked that he would go out unarmed when he never, ever forgot anything.

He was outside the door and took my hand when I finally came out. We walked in silence for awhile. The house had a path that lead around the place and was perfect in the night for us to go walking.

"Dimitri."

He glanced at me, and I almost got lost in the depths of his eyes. The midnight sky and lack of light made his eyes seem darker and soulful…

"Did you forget something?" I asked, hiding my thoughts from him.

His brow furrowed for a moment before it hit him. He reached into his duster, but all he had was the gun. Yeah, like that would be a big help against the immortal undead walking the earth and looking for Moroi and dhampirs to feed off of.

"My stake…" Dimitri's tone was incredulous.

I rolled my eyes and pulled it out from where I had kept it hidden. "I found it in the room."I gave him a weird look. "Are you feeling okay?"

Dimitri took the stake and lifted it from my palm. "I'm fine. I can't believe I forgot the stake. If a Strigoi came, it would spell bad news for the both of us…."

I crossed my arms. "For once, would you relax and stop constantly thinking about the Strigoi. I have my magic. I mean, you saw the other day what I figured out how to do."

His posture was stiff, but he at last relaxed. "You're right."

My eyes went wide. "Wait, what?"

He gave me a sidelong look and I could see amusement written all over his face. "You heard me. You're right. Just because Strigoi are attacking doesn't mean I don't have to enjoy myself…." His eyes had a faraway look to them and I knew he was remembering Ivan.

"Dimitri," I breathed, stepping in front of him. "It wasn't your fault. Things happen."

He let out a gusty breath. "Yes, but if it happened to you…I could never, ever forgive myself."

My hands went to my hips defiantly. "And what about me? I can take care of myself. But if—hypothetically—that happened, then I would definitely want you to forgive yourself no matter what."

Nothing more was said as he laced his fingers with mine and continued walking. For once, no Strigoi jumped out of the shadows and flew at us, ready to kill or anything. And I realized just how wonderful the feeling was to be free at last and just be….normal…

Too bad it wasn't going to last any longer….

**I hate to do this, but I'm cutting it short since I will not be on tomorrow most likely since it's my brother's b-day. - So, just be happy that I at least got something in for you guys and I'm not sorry for putting it up sooner.**

**FYI, if you like my fanfics, I'm also posting up an original story by me on fictionpress. So, if ya wanna check it out, it's under DuskyGurl. I'll let you kon when I get it up.**

**SONGS:**

**None and I also lost track. xD**


	24. The Decision At Last

"Rose," Lissa complained at me. "You can't possibly be tired!"

I rolled my eyes and started walking faster. She struggled to match my pace, not used to my newfound abilities after all that hard work and training. Dimitri and Tasha hung back, chatting with one another while me and Lissa shopped in the mall.

I glanced back as we walked, noticing that Aunt Tasha had left, but Dimitri was still with us. He trailed along, but careful not to look like a stalker of some sort; more like someone in charge of two wild teens.

"I'm going in here, Rose!" Lissa exclaimed mischievously.

I hadn't realized we had come up to the far end of the mall. Lissa had stopped in front of a store for girls. It held regular clothes, dresses, etc. But that wasn't why she was using that tone. I peered in and felt cold all over when I saw what it was really for: Lingerie.

"Jesus Christ, Lissa." My heart pounded and I refused to look back at Dimitri, my cheeks flaming.

Lissa grinned. "Ooh, Rose is blushing," she sang.

I glared and tugged on her arm. "Let's go, please."

She shook her head. "Think what you want, but I actually see some good stuff in there. Real quick, please?" she appealed to me.

I gave in, knowing she wouldn't give up until I said yes. We walked in and Dimitri followed us. A young looking girl who looked just a little older than us came up to Lissa and me with Dimitri behind us.

"Hello there," she said pleasantly. "I'm Niki. Can I help you with anything?" I noticed how her eyes flitted to Dimitri.

Lissa shook her head and I answered, "No, thanks."

She looked at Dimitri. "And you, sir. Are you looking for something special for someone special?"

Dimitri gave her a polite smile. "No, I'm just here with the girls."

She turned around and faced us. "Let me know if you need anything."

With that, she turned and went back to doing whatever she did. Lissa had already moved to some dresses and I sighed. A hand on my shoulder made me jump.

"Someone's jumpy," observed Dimitri.

I closed my eyes briefly. I shot a look at the girl who was within earshot, unfortunately, which meant I had to use the bond to talk to him without going somewhere private or something.

Dimitri read my thoughts and understanding. _What do you want to talk to me about?_

Both of us started moving towards Lissa. _I'm not sure, _I admitted. _I just get the feeling that soon, something's going to happen that'll really test love and loyalty between you and me. Maybe even Aunt Tasha, Lissa, and Christian._

He pondered that and I could see the wheels turning in his eyes. _Strigoi?_

_Maybe. But, I don't know. Perhaps it's nothing to worry about._

He gave me a disapproving look. _Don't assume that. I'm sure there is some truth in what you're feeling._

I exhaled and said out loud. "I'm going to do some shopping with Lissa."

I hinted that I want alone time with her and he winced. _Rose…are you sure it's a good idea to be left alone?_

I stared at him. "Do you trust me?"

"I do."

"Then just trust that I can take care of myself and Lissa if worse comes to worse, okay? By the way, where's Aunt Tasha?"

"She went off to do some shopping for your birthday gift. Late gift, I should say."

"Awesome," I said.

He gave me one last look, warning me not to get into any trouble and left. I turned around and found Lissa watching me. I offered her a weak smile.

"I think you two were gifted with that bond," amusement was evident in her voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. But, I made him leave. I kind of want to shop and I kind of wanted to talk to you."

Her jade eyes searched my blue ones. "Tell me later, for now I need to get you some proper clothes for you when that time comes."

"What time?" I inquired nervously.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about."

My jaw clenched and I fought against the urge to scream and yell, frustration causing my eyes to sting with tears. "I tried it the other night. I can't do it."

Now she really looked at me. With shocked, wide eyes, her hand flew to her mouth. She rushed over and hugged me. "Oh, Rose. What happened?"

There were no hiding things from my friend. "Well, I thought I was ready and I did want it. Yet, something stopped me. Something told me I wasn't completely ready to take on responsibilities lest anything happened. But, I also like Adrian in a different way. I always have, but I've never acknowledged it until things started getting heated with Dimitri and me."

She listened to me like Dimitri had and compassion was written on her face. "Well," she said when I finished. "I can't tell you what to do or choose, but I'll support you either way. Both are good for you. I mean, you've known them for years—especially Dimitri. Adrian's a nice guy too…" she sighed. "You're right: it is complicated."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks for listening, though. I guess the time will come when I figure out who I want to be with."

I checked my head, listening for the familiar….hum in the bond that would tell me if Dimitri was listening or not. He wasn't. Like always, he was being a gentleman and leaving me alone when I asked him to. It wasn't that Adrian wasn't a gentleman too, but Dimitri…There was just something about him…

Adrian…Dimitri…I loved both with my heart, but I was confused about who would be better for me. Sure, Adrian might just play around with me if I wasn't a Moroi; I had seen Moroi men do that to dhampir women. But, I was Moroi and I was technically betrothed to him.

Yet…Dimitri would never, ever pressure me into something I didn't want. Like the other night when I couldn't go through with what I had planned and admitted that I had feelings for Adrian. If I gave him the word, he'd be gone in a flash and would either be out of my life for good (save for visiting my Aunt), or just be the guardian he was supposed to be.

Adrian wouldn't do the same thing and it wasn't like he would purposely pressure me, but he was known for a reputation for sleeping with girls and drinking…and partying. Plus, we both wielded spirit…

Fuck this was hard.

"Hey, Rose, I'm going to go pay, all right?" Lissa's voice broke into my thoughts.

I blinked and tried to clear my head. "Oh, um…Yeah, go ahead and I'll catch up."

_Dimitri? _I asked.

His response was instant. _Yes, my Rose?_

_What would you do if I said all I wanted you to be was my guardian and nothing more? No relationship, no nothing. Just…a guardian…?_

I expected him to hesitate, but he answered immediately which gave me the answer I was looking for. _I would leave you alone if you wanted me to. I wouldn't say anything about what happened and let you do your own thing….Are you thinking about doing so?_

Horrified, I shook my head and then realized he couldn't see me and frantically answered: _No, no. Of course not. I was just saying hypothetically…._

_Rose, I respect any decision you make and I understand if you change your mind about the relationship. I would never pressure you into anything you don't want. You know that._

I pondered that and then stowed it away in my head for later when I confronted Adrian and compared my mental notes about how each of them reacted to the situation if I chose the other. _Thanks, Dimitri. Lissa's done paying. Where are you?_

_Just walk out towards the exit and I can find you both. Stay together, _he added sternly.

I smiled a genuine one at his usual protectiveness. Lissa seemed pretty happy with her treasures, and so was I. Before hitting this store, we had gone and used our money to buy things we wanted. It was a wonder we weren't bankrupt.

"Rose. Lissa."

I turned at the voice, startled to find…Adrian? "Shit, what are you doing here?" I exclaimed.

Lissa looked surprised at my reaction. Adrian just gave me a lazy grin. "So, Rose, where's Guardian Belikov? He shouldn't have left you alone…"

I put my hands on my hips. "Yeah? I don't see your guardians anywhere."

He jerked his thumb back and I saw two of them walking casually in normal clothes and everything. Fuck…again.

"Dimitri was just giving me and Lissa privacy so we could talk. We have the bond, remember? I know he's close by, keeping tabs on me."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Suddenly, I realized… "How did you find us?" I yelped.

His grin returned. "What? I can detect other spirit users and I used it to find you and Lissa."

By now, we had reached the back of the store and were near the parking lot. Suddenly, he grabbed me and pulled me behind some shelves and clothes. I tried to jerk away, but he looked at me.

"Rose, can I tell you how I feel about you?" He wasn't trying to be a jerk, but I didn't want to listen.

"Let me go!"

"Listen to—"

I kept tugging, trying to remove myself. I tried to stop from panicking so Dimitri wouldn't think something was terribly wrong. I could use my badass skills, but I knew hurting him wouldn't do me any good. Besides, there was no way of knowing how the humans would take it. Probably see him as a stalker trying to take advantage of a teen girl.

"Let. Me. Go." I snarled.

He looked hurt, but didn't let go. Unexpectedly, he released me and then pressed his lips to mine. I made a sound of protest, but kissing felt so good…

My hands wound around his neck as if they had a mind of their own and I kissed him back, enjoying it. It felt good because I hadn't kissed Dimitri's soft lips for quite awhile and I had forgotten how great it was to kiss a guy…

"Lord Ivashkov. Rose!" Dimitri's sharp voice was like cold water.

I jumped back about a foot, my face flaming. Dimitri's face was, of course, expressionless. "Lord Ivashkov, if I remember correctly, there are rules about interaction in public."

Adrian looked at ease. "Sorry, Guardian Belikov. Just trying to satisfy Rose's yearnings," he smirked.

Dimitri was unfazed, but I didn't need a bond to tell me that he was furious. He turned to me and I looked down. "Sorry, I'll head to the car."

Aunt Tasha had returned briefly to hug me goodbye for the time being. I was going to see her soon since she lived pretty close. Lissa went with her. I rode with Dimitri. I guess it was nice we were alone so we could talk, but it was kind of intimidating.

"Dimitri, don't be mad. Please. I couldn't help it and I didn't want you to think I was in danger…."

He sighed, sounding weary. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated. He can give you what you want. He can go out in public with you and not hide. I'll fight for you until you tell me off, but I swear I'm not going to give up." He sounded fierce and sure, like the Dimitri I knew.

It was then I realized I had made up my mind. I may care for Adrian, but I was lusting for him because he was a guy who wouldn't hesitate to take me into bed or anything, whereas Dimitri was never rushing and knew me much better. He knew me and I knew him. Not only did we have the bond, but we had much more: A connection.

**I'm tired. Anyways, I POSTED UP A CHAPTER OF MY STORY ON FICTIONPRESS! It's called: Secrets Of The Last Princess Of Russian Royalty.**

**SONGS:**

**Making Memories OF Us-Keith Urban**

**Everything-Lifehouse (THE PERFECT SONG FOR D&R!)**

**Promiscuous-Nelly Furtado**

**Battlefield-Jordin Sparks**

**You Save Me-Kenny Chesney**


	25. The Discovery

**I'm soooo tired today…xP IDK why…Whatever….Did anyone see my little note on the bottom of the other chapter? I posted something up on ficitonpress and I need some people to check it out and tell me how it is. xP Can you guys do that? Remember it's called: Secrets Of The Last Princess Of Russian Royalty**

I nestled into the sheets, feeling content that I could sleep at last. Dimitri was in the other room taking care of some paperwork for God knows what. I hadn't told him my decision yet, and I didn't know why. I guess I needed time to think more about it and make sure I was going to stick with it.

I was about to close my eyes when Dimitri called my name. I sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes. "Rose," he called out again. His voice sounded strained and I wondered why.

I had been too lazy to put any clothes on after I changed and except for some underwear, I was completely naked. I pulled a blanket around me, not knowing where my robe was. I padded out into the other room, finding a single lamp on and him looking very exhausted. Dark shadows circled his eyes and he looked like he needed sleep.

"Dimitri?" My voice came out in a whisper.

His head shot up at the sound of my voice and he motioned for me to sit by him. "What are you doing so late?" I questioned, noticing how light still spilled in from the covered windows.

He didn't look at me, instead moving the papers around. "It seems that the attacks are getting more frequent not only on the Court, but on several other places."

I was still confused. "How? And how do you know all this?"

He sighed impatiently. "A friend from Court provides with updates about what happens. Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is the Strigoi are attacking more frequently and it seems that an unofficial war has been declared."

His words sunk in at last. "They're risking guardian lives but the Moroi can't fight?" I whispered.

"Yes, the Queen apparently thinks it's better than using the Moroi magic," his voice was tight and strained.

I was shocked, but not surprised. "Stupid Moroi government," I grumbled.

Obviously, there was nothing we could do, no matter how stupid the circumstances. I let out a breath and leaned back against the couch, tugging the blanket tighter around me. Dimitri gathered up the papers and I yawned.

He looked at me guiltily. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I thought you'd want to know what's happening."

I waved off his apology. "I'm fine. I promise….And," I hesitated. "I made my decision."

He raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"About you and Adrian," I clarified.

Immediately, his mask went up, his face black, protecting him from my answer. I went on. "I care about Adrian and he can give me anything I want. He's from the powerful Ivashkov family, he's rich, he's funny, I can be seen in public with him. He's almost everything I could want to have." I paused to take a breath and noticed a brief flash of hurt in his eyes, but pressed on with my speech.

"All I would have to do is say the word and he could drink from me, sealing up the bond that as lovers, we would have to have. Not only that, but people would be happy about my decision. And you could just be my guardian like everyone else thinks so—"

He leaned back and crossed his arms. "It's done. I'll say nothing more unless you want me to and I'll just be a shadow like I'm supposed to be," a bitter tone entered his voice.

I glared at him. "You didn't let me finish! As I was saying: I could have everything with him…I could raise a child and not be shunned for my choice. But, he's not you. He's too quick about getting me alone with him and wanting to hang on.

"Not only that, but I can separate love and lust. I may lust for him because I can have him, but I love you because you're…well, you. I love you and no one else. You're always there for me. You protect me, take care of me, and everything. Adrian's _almost _everything I want…but you…you're _everything _I could want."

His expression showed he was astonished at me speech. "Rose…You're sure?"

I grinned. "If I weren't sure, would I be telling you this?"

He smiled in relief. "I thought for sure you were going to go after Ivashkov."

I shook my head, shifting so I could put it in his lap like I used to do when I was little. "Nope. He's just nothing more but a good friend. I love you and only you. Nothing can change love."

His fingers stroked my hair thoughtfully. Both of us were silent. I reached up and laced my fingers through his. He squeezed my hand and I felt like I could get through anything with him.

"Can I look at the files?" I asked sleepily.

He didn't answer, but took the folder and handed them to me. I moved so I could hold it above my face and read it…

_It seems that attacks on warded places are getting more frequent, which means nowhere is safe anymore from the Strigoi. Humans use the stakes infused with the elements and are helping the Strigoi in return of immortality. Only the strongest humans will be awakened, the rest will be discarded immediately after the job is done._

_Not only are the humans helping, but it seems that Victor Dashkov in his time made a few friends to help him out. These followers are both Moroi and dhampirs and are agreeing to help out the Strigoi in a different way._

_No one knows why of course, they're doing it. The followers get information for the Strigoi in exchange for not being killed by them. So far, no Moroi had been killed, but guardian numbers are dwindling quickly. The Queen wants to risk no Moroi life, but Natasha Ozera had different ideas before she disappeared._

_Natasha wanted the Moroi to fight and the Queen embraced the idea slowly, but is not ready to let the Moroi actually out on the battlefield since their lives are too valuable._

"Damned Queen Bitch," I muttered.

"Rose, don't call her that," Dimitri warned.

I scowled. "If it weren't for her, we'd have more guardians and the Moroi would be able to help out like we're training to do. After all, didn't you say once that you learned more when you were actually out on the field than in school?"

"Yes, but—"

"But nothing, Dimitri. I think the Moroi should risk their lives like the dhampirs do; it's just not right."

He sighed again and snatched the files from my hand. "You've got a point, but….."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Think what you want. I know you feel the same way."

That started up an argument between us. Eventually I won and triumphantly climbed off his lap and grabbed the TV remote, switching it on and searching for something to watch while keeping the blanket close to me.

I groaned and moved my stiff neck, wondering where in the hell I was. Carefully, I shifted, feeling someone next to me. I cracked an eye open and found Dimitri sitting next to me, head tilted back against the couch, features peaceful and serene.

Realizing that we had both fallen asleep last night watching TV, made me smile for some reason. This was how it was supposed to be: Dimitri and me living together near the Court, near Aunt Tasha, no worrying about Moroi and dhampir stuff.

It was also then I realized that I hadn't gotten a proper feeding in days and was feeling a bit woozy. Dimitri must've felt me awake through the bond, because he stirred and opened his eyes, stretching and rubbing his neck.

The blanket was draped loosely around me and a little too revealing for the moment. I pulled it closer to my body, making sure it covered me completely

"That doesn't feel good," he muttered.

I let out a giggle. "Looks like the almighty Guardian Belikov fell asleep too."

He lifted his head and looked at me. "You need to feed, don't you?" he didn't acknowledge my comment.

I made a face. "I'm sure we can find some blood somewhere or something..."

He shook his head. "No. You need blood now. I can feel it."

I blew out a breath. "I can last another day. I'll worry about my—"

Seeing his stern expression, I sighed. "Fine."

He moved up into a proper position and pulled me onto his lap. I straddled him and lowered my face to his neck, hesitant, yet remembering the wild hot taste of his blood that was also him. The memory pushed me into sinking my fangs into his soft skin and letting the blood flow.

I lapped it up, gasping when his fingers dug into my hips, and I pressed closer to him, the blanket starting to slip off of me. The moment was heated and intense as I drank, hearing him moan softly from the endorphin rush.

Suddenly, I realized how much I was taking and pulled back, sealing up the wound. My head tilted back…only to be met by his lips crashing onto mine. I gasped into his mouth, surprised at his sudden aggression. Not that I was complaining.

I pushed my body against his, the blanket falling off of me completely, leaving me naked and exposed to him. I was too wrapped up in the moment to really care. Right now, I was just happy to be kissing him after so long.

His hands slid up my body, touching, caressing. I pulled away to breathe and his lips simply trailed down my exposed flesh. I groaned softly when he nipped my breast, barely grazing it with his teeth. The feeling was wondrous and exciting as he moved to the other one and did the same before moving down lower.

I shifted my upper body back, arching my lower body against him in a very suggestive way. Somehow, my fingers captured his buttoned up shirt and undid the buttons, tossing it carelessly off in the room somewhere. Trying to make the most of the moment, my seeking fingers slid down to his jeans and popped the button open, his excitement evident underneath.

He let out a husky groan when my hand briefly brushed him. I positioned my hips around him so I was sitting right on top of him. He drew in a sharp breath feeling one of my most intimate places on top of one of his. Something pulsed within me, driving me crazy for him.

For a while I actually thought he would take it another step, but the doorbell rang and he groaned, pulling back from the heated kiss. I rested my face in his neck, catching my breath, noticing how he was breathing heavily too.

His phone vibrating on the table brought my attention back to the real world, down from my blissful haze. I pressed my lips against his, not moving, just touching them. "Roza," he breathed onto them. "Tasha and Lissa are here. So is your brother."

My aunt's name caused alarm to course through me. Wide eyed I pulled back to look at him. "If she catches us like this, she'll kill you," I whispered urgently.

Another impatient knock. "Hey, sleepyheads! Get up and let us in!" Lissa shouted.

Dimitri peeled me off of him and zipped his pants back up, grabbing his shirt from where it lay discarded on the ground. Without looking at me, he ordered, "Go into the room and get dressed."

He looked more alert now and like we weren't doing anything just now. Sullen that we were interrupted yet again, I trudged back to the room, barely shutting the door when I heard Aunt Tasha and Lissa come in.

Lissa would notice if I wore yesterday's outfit, but they were the only clothing I had since I had left everything else out in the other room. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I slipped on the clothes and attempted to tame my wild hair that Dimitri just had his hands in.

_Dimitri. _I sighed, feeling gross in yesterday's clothes.

_Yes?_

_I need some clothes, but they're all out in the other room. Can you get it for me? I know Aunt Tasha will bite my head off if she finds me walking around the house naked with a guy…_

_Of course._

_Does she suspect we were up to something?_

_No. We're safe. She's busy with the files I showed you last night._

_Okay. The door's unlocked. _

Now, all I had to do was wait. I peeled off the dirty clothes and put them in the corner that served as the hamper. As I turned, I caught sight of something bundled up. Curious, I picked it up and discovered more thing. Knives, a gun, paperwork…

I picked up the papers and found it to be a conversation between Dimitri and someone else…

_Belikov, Rosemarie Ozera is a valuable Princess to her line and needs to be returned safely._

_I understand that, but I don't think she's ready to go back yet._

_Well, bring her back anyway. Eileen will take care of her since her Aunt obviously won't. Her brother and the last Dragomir Princess must be returned to the Royal Court at once!_

_I said I will try. With all the attacks, do you think I'd really put them back in danger?_

_This is for your career, Belikov. Whatever feelings you have for her, you must push aside and think about bringing her back…_

_I don't know if I want to bring her back….but, I guess I will have to eventually._

_Either way, you know you will be reassigned if you choose to pursue being a guardian, right?_

_Yes, I know._

I heard someone behind me and I stared, shocked at Dimitri.

His eyes widened. "Rose, don't…"

It was too late. Too late to cover up what had been his plan all along..

**SONGS:**

**Lost track. xP**


	26. Coming Back

Horror and shock. That was all I felt. After discovering the papers, I had screamed at him, causing everyone else to come running into the room. Fortunately, I had gotten dressed by then so no one would think anything.

But, that was beside the point. I had called him a bastard for lying to me and I could see it struck home from the look in his eyes. It turned out Tasha knew all about it. Lissa was the only one who didn't know, and Christian knew only a little bit.

I would only talk to Lissa, mad and upset, brimming with anger and hurt over the fact the person I had known for basically my whole life, would do something like this to me. I had repacked everything into my messenger bag and the other bags we had bought at the store.

I had demanded that he take me back no matter what now. I was just going to have to deal. Now, I was in the car, sullenly staring out the window in the very back of the car. Dimitri, of course, was driving, Aunt Tasha rode shotgun and Lissa and Christian sat in the middle in front of me.

I clutched my bag close to me, the only real thing I had left of home, the bag my parents had given to me for safekeeping before they had turned Strigoi. A sob threatened at the back of my throat and the tears were stinging my eyes as I reached up to make sure they didn't escape. The last thing I needed from them was pity on me.

"I don't think this was the best idea," Aunt Tasha was saying in a hushed voice to Dimitri.

I saw his jaw clench. "It's done. She found out the guardians' plan and there's nothing to do but take her back now. I was originally going to work things out if I could, but she won't listen to me rationally."

Lissa leaned forward. "I don't think she's going to listen to anyone. Not even me. It's probably better to leave her alone."

Christian made a comment that I tuned out and I tuned back in when I realized I needed to know their plan next. "The guardians will be waiting when we pull up at the gate to take all three of you back safely," stated Dimitri.

I let out a sigh, but no one heard me, or paid attention. No one but Dimitri. We still had the bond, but he didn't try and reach out to me, knowing I needed to think things over. Yeah, right. I already had thought things over and knew I probably wouldn't forgive him for some time to come.

The car pulled up to the Court, sure enough, there were several guardians waiting, all stoic faced. Hans was there as well. Only one of the guardians seemed to have an expression on his face. It was the guardian that Dimitri hung around sometimes. A friend, maybe. He had to be the one who sent the paper in about taking me back.

Fury filled me again and Dimitri shot me a worried look, before turning back and letting his guardian mask slip into place. "Fuck," I muttered when they came around to open the car doors.

For once, no one chastised me on my language and I was glad. Swears flitted across my mind, but I didn't dare say any out loud to the guardians. Hans had reached Dimitri and was talking to him. Lissa, Christian, and I were being taken in different directions. Aunt Tasha was in the car now in the driver's seat. Hans waved her out and she disappeared.

Great. Just great. The people I loved and cared for were turning on me. Dimitri took me back to this place. He betrayed me all this time. He was only concerned about his career where I was concerned, which was probably why he never let me go any further than kiss or drink from him.

That was probably why Aunt Tasha had been mad when he had declared he had feelings for me. He _was _playing around with me. He _was _toying with a young Moroi girl's feelings. He never really wanted me. IT was why he kept pushing me the fuck away. Well, screw him; I didn't need him at all. I didn't need anybody. I was Rose Ozera.

I sighed as the guardians escorting me towards a confined room. As they led me away, one of them spoke: "We are very glad you are alive and well, Princess Ozera. Lord Ivashkov requested that you stay with him in his suite."

I pondered that. "Wait, Adrian's here still?"

The one who spoke nodded. "He is, indeed. He's been requesting that you be sent to him as soon as you arrive. If that's all right with you."

I flashed him a smile. "Of course it's fine."

No more was said as I was taken, but as we got closer, the little nagging feeling about wanting to know what happened to Dimitri, won out. "I was wondering. What happened to Guardian Belikov?" I addressed him formally since I knew that was how he was supposed to be addressed in the first place.

My guards both looked at one another and the same one answered me. "Princess, if it's your concern, no charges will be pressed. He will simply be held for questioning is all. If he's a liability to you, then he will be reassigned. If he's a liability to other Moroi, he may be stripped of his guardian title." I could tell that they both regretted saying that.

Dimitri was the biggest badass around, and everyone knew and respected him. Six fucking _molnija _marks on his neck proved it. Although I was mad, I couldn't be mad enough to want him stripped of his title.

By now, we had reached Adrian's suite. He opened the door as soon as the guardians knocked. Both stepped back and gave a shallow bow to both me and Adrian before leaving. The tears I had been holding back, flowed over my face. I choked on a sob and stumbled into Adrian's stunned arms.

"Rose?" he asked, bewildered.

"He-Dimitri-He…" I couldn't form a sentence.

"Shh, talk to me when later when you feel better."

He tugged on my hand and I followed him in numbly, sitting down on the couch. My tears stopped, but I felt horrible, like someone punched me, only worse. He wordlessly handed me some water and I took small sips of it gratefully.

"Okay, start from the beginning. What happened? What about Belikov?" I swear to God when he said Dimitri's name, he looked almost murderous.

I shook my head. "Don't kill him yet, but something happened. I found something out the other night….I was putting my clothes away in the room we were sleeping in and I found some of his usual guardian stake and gun. But there were other things like knives and stuff. And when I moved it, I found a piece of paper—"I halted and looked at Adrian, who nodded at me to continue. "It had a conversation between Dimitri and another guardian on it. And they were plans about bringing me back and bringing me back here….

"Anyways, Dimitri had promised me we wouldn't go back until I could sort things out on my own. Yeah, like that would really happen when his career as a guardian is on the line," I said bitterly. "It went on about how I'll be handed over to Eileen as a…I don't know…someone to take care of me. The guardian said that either way, Dimitri would be reassigned if he brought me back. I think he wanted that to stay away from me…

"I'm starting to believe he was only toying with me. Playing with my feelings. A twenty four year old guy, taking advantage of a young girl…how typical," a hysterical laugh escaped my lips.

"Rose," Adrian started. "I swear on my life, I will make sure they lock him up or something. Whatever you want and it'll be done. My great aunt…No, I'll talk to Hans myself…" He was fuming.

Damn it, I didn't need him to be mad. "Don't get angry. Just leave it alone. As strange as it sounds, I want him to be my guardian. At least he's someone I know. And, anyways, will I really be able to get another one so easily after what happened with my parents? People are still wary of my family, Adrian."

He sighed and raked a hand through his messy styled hair. "I'm sorry, but, Rose, I can't help it. I care about you and even if you don't return those feelings, I'm still going to be there for you. I'm not going to stop, I'm not giving up."

Ironic how Dimitri said almost the same thing before I had discovered the note. "I understand."

A knock on the door and then Eileen's voice. "Rose, are you in here, dear?"

"Yes, I am."

She opened the door. "Ah, Adrian Ivashkov, we meet again."

He bowed slightly. "Lady Dashkov."

"Oh, no need to call me that anymore. Remember, I'm Eileen." She smiled and Adrian grinned.

Then she turned back to me. "Dear, I heard about what happened between you and Dimitri. It was wrong of him, but don't you think maybe he had his reasons about hiding that note from you?" Now she was starting to sound like Dimitri and his Zen lessons.

I exhaled. "Eileen, I'm not going to forgive him so easily. He betrayed and hurt me."

She let out a sigh. "I know, dear. I know how it is to feel betrayed, but he's a good man. He's willing to protect you at all costs. He's even taking the blame for what you had planned. You have good people in your life Rose, good men to take care of you. You have Dimitri who still loves you, and then you have Adrian, whom I'm sure cares about you too." Compassion was written on her face.

"I know," I took a deep breath. "But…I read more of it before he could stop me. Stuff he didn't know I saw…The note had some conversation about possibly forcing my hand in marriage to Adrian as soon as possible because that's how it's supposed to be. They obviously know I haven't completed the bonding and are willing to make me somehow…"

Adrian looked shocked at this. "Jesus Christ Rose! No way. I won't let them do that until you're actually ready to do something."

Eileen just looked grave. "Dear, I have to get going. Think and choose wisely. Listen with your head and your heart. There are grave times ahead and somehow I have a feeling this turmoil isn't over yet." She came over and kissed my forehead, and then looked at Adrian. "And take care of her, but don't press her into anything she doesn't want."

He nodded and she let herself out. I was in the need for comfort and I wanted to give Adrian a chance. I shot him my seductive smile and moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Rose…are you sure?" he hesitated.

I looked at his green eyes. "I am sure. I'm giving you a chance."

He didn't look convinced, but he pressed his lips to mine, nonetheless. This wasn't exactly like with Dimitri, but it held enough desire for me to want him and forget about Dimitri almost completely. I didn't even care if he got into my head; I wanted him to see that I was happy without him like he obviously wanted.

As we kissed, he fell onto the couch, taking me with him. His fangs grazed my neck and I felt a thrill. I wanted him to bite me and I wanted to bite him. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking at all. I was only feeling. And that was when I felt my fangs sink into his neck, breaking the skin where his sweet blood flowed into my mouth.

**Oh, SHIT! Damn, that can't be good, can it? O.o **

**SONGS:**

**I'm too lazy and tired to list them. xP**


	27. Hurting Loved Ones

Astonishment filled me, but it was done and it was blood. I had to drink it. I lapped it up and then felt his teeth sink into my neck. Damn, it hurt, but I was soon blissed out as the endorphins kicked in. Oh, God, I never thought I had felt so much better in my life. There was nothing more in the world, only the feeling of being in heaven.

"Rose? Rose, come on," someone was calling me.

I fought the haze, coming back to Earth. Instead of staring into Dimitri's warm, brown eyes, I was looking at Adrian's concerned green ones. "What happened?" I murmured.

He looked ashamed. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to bite you without permission…Rose, you do know what this means, right?" He looked horrified.

Finally, I broke through the haze completely, all rational thought slamming back into me. Dimitri. The note. The fight. Me biting Adrian. Adrian biting me… "Well, shit," I said out loud.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again.

I felt a familiar presence in my head. Dimitri. I didn't have to check to know he would be angry. I didn't shove him out of my head. Instead, I pulled Adrian closer and pressed my bloody lips to his once more. His shirt had somehow come off and I was almost completely naked. As things started to heat up, Dimitri finally disappeared.

I felt bad, all of a sudden. Sure, I liked Adrian, but I didn't want to cause permanent damage. I finally shrugged. It was done. The bond was sealed between Adrian and me and there was nothing else to change….

There was a fierce knock on the door. "Lord Ivashkov, Princess Ozera!" someone barked out. It sounded like Hans.

I startled, my arms flailing for a moment before I caught myself. Adrian pushed me gently off to the side of the couch and pulled on his clothes. I found a blanket nearby and clutched that to my body as Adrian opened the door.

"Hans," Adrian sounded a bit surprised. "What's up?"

Hans looked troubled. "There's been another attack. The Moroi are being evacuated."

Hans's glance strayed over to me, but he said nothing but, "Both of you pack your belongings, or what's left of them, and come outside right away."

He turned and left and Adrian shut the door. "All right, then….Guess we pack."

I slowly reached for my clothes and Adrian handed them to me, heading into the other room to get what he needed. As I shrugged into my clothes, my actions finally caught up with me. Oh, God…I was bonded to Adrian…By blood.

"Shit," I cursed, half expecting Dimitri's voice to come and chastise me for my language.

No luck. He had seen what had happened and I knew I had hurt him. Emotions roiled around in me, and I couldn't separate them. I blinked and tried to clear my head. I needed to focus on the task at hand, which was getting out of the Royal Court safely with Adrian.

I picked up my bag, glad I hadn't taken anything out of it. My clothes were old and I felt grimy in them. Strands of hair stuck to my sweaty face and I angrily shoved them out of the way, waiting for Adrian…

Dimitri was too respected a guardian not to be trusted, so he was the one who drove the car Adrian, Lissa, Christian, and I were in. Unfortunately, I had shotgun while the other three sat in the back and chatted with one another. I clutched my bag closer to me, wishing I could reach in and grab my IPod to listen to. I needed to be alert, though, so I watched my surroundings instead.

I had no clue where we were going, but Dimitri had instructions from Hans on where to go. Apparently, we were going to the airport and use one of the Court's private jets. The Strigoi were all over the Court, making it nearly impossible to use the airstrip there.

I sighed as I realized we had reached the airport while I was lost in thought. Hell, I didn't want to leave, but I guess it was the only choice left. I chose to sit by myself when we parked the car, and finally got around to getting inside the jet. Dimitri briefly handed a piece of paper to the pilot and then disappeared in the back.

"Rose, come sit!" Lissa called.

I shook my head. "Not now."

She studied me. "Do you want to talk?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine," I said curtly.

She looked surprised at my tone and Christian butted in. "Hey, sis. Don't get mad at her."

I glared at them. "Oh, I suppose I should be mad at myself? I shouldn't be mad at other people?"

Adrian intervened. "Rose, calm down, no need to get worked up."

I turned to him. "Worked up?" I was breathing heavily. "I'm not worked up! I'm mad because I made a fucking mistake!" As I shouted the words, I immediately regretted them.

Adrian's green eyes widened, and then he shrugged, turning away. "You made a mistake, huh? Well, good luck trying to fix it. I know that Belikov's not going to forgive you so easily this time, Rose. I read his aura; he's mad as hell."

That was enough to push me over the edge. "Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything! None of you do, so leave me the hell alone!"

Lissa was shocked, Christian was the same with some anger written on his face, and Adrian was just guarded. I stormed to the middle of the plane, settling down in a seat and reclined it back so I could relax and think.

"Dimitri," I sighed, his name leaving my lips.

I wanted—I needed to talk—to him. But, what was I supposed to say? I tried several possibilities, but none of them seemed me, they all seemed to be robotic, automatic, forced. "Fuck this," I cursed out loud, punching the seat in front of me.

I was lost in thought, drifting away in my own world, becoming nothing but numb…

My eyes snapped open. Groggily, I lifted myself from where I was sleeping in the reclined seat. I blinked. Wait, I fell asleep? Well, damn. The cabin of the plane was darker than before and the lights dimmed. I pulled open the shade and found it to be daylight outside. Nighttime for us, of course.

Stretching, I pulled my seat back up and looked ahead of me where Adrian, Lissa, and Christian were all sleeping. Liss and my brother were curled up with one another and Adrian had his feet stretched out, head resting on the wall.

A small, sad smile lifted my lips as I realized how nice it was just to be like this. This was how life was supposed to be. No Strigoi to worry about. No hard decisions. Well, never mind the decisions.

The sleep induced haze finally left as my brain registered what I needed to do. Talk to Dimitri. Apologize. Talk. I shook my head once more to clear it, took a deep breath and then headed to the back of the jet where I knew Dimitri was.

I gulped as I approached, seeing his outline in the dim lighting. He knew I was there because of the bond and his dhampir senses, but didn't acknowledge me until I sat down next to him. I was silent and so was he. For once, no battered Western novel was in his hands and his expression was so un-Dimitri-like.

He was staring out the window with an expression I couldn't decipher on his face. "Dimitri?" I said in a small voice.

He turned to me and I was taken back when I saw hurt and anger written all over him, his eyes flashing dangerously. I took another breath and went on. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing…I guess it was a way to get back at you for what you did to me. I really didn't mean to bite him. I didn't mean for him to bite me. It just…happened….All I wanted to do was do what you did to me…."

"Well, you did a great job with that," he said sarcastically, staring back out the window.

I bit my lip. "Dimitri—"

He turned back to me with a furious glint in his eyes. "You think I'm just going to forgive you like that?" I shrugged, but he continued. "I don't care what your motives were, it's done. You finished and sealed the bond between you and Adrian, so don't come back to me thinking I'll forgive you."

The last words hit home, stinging. "But…."

"Go away, Rose. You obviously don't need me anymore. You're just like those typical Moroi girls at your age: hooking up, hurting people's feelings, and crawling back and asking for forgiveness. It's not going to work this time."

Now I was getting mad. "I am _not _like those girls!" I spat. "I care about you, but you understood when I also told you I cared about Adrian."

His expression hardened. "Just because I understood, didn't mean I didn't like it. And I don't even know why I'm even talking to you. You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me anymore, Rose. So, I hope you're happy with Ivashkov."

No… "Wait!" I cried, desperate for him to understand. "I still love you," I whispered.

He didn't answer and I knew I had to get out before his temper snapped and we both did something we'd regret later. Close to tears again, I sprung up from the seat and hurried to the very, very back of the plane. I was alone. I was really alone.

I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if I would ever stopped hurting those who were closest to me. I had already hurt Adrian more than once, I had hurt Lissa and my brother, and worst of all: Dimitri wouldn't talk to me because of what I had done.

Tears seeped out of my eyes, and for once, I was alone in my misery, no one there to comfort me, no one there to hold me—to tell me things would be okay and work out the way I hoped it would. I had no friends anymore….

**I'm sorry for not UD-ing sooner, but I had a busy weekend, so yeah…Anyways, I couldn't think of anything else to do for this chapter, so it's gonna be short, unfortunately….**

**SONGS:**

**Vanessa Carlton songs**

**Impossible-Shontelle **


	28. Forgiveness At Last

It turned out Dimitri and I would have to share a room. The hotel wasn't very fancy, but it was a decent one, meaning about half rooms were booked or occupied. He said nothing as we walked to the room we'd be staying for the next few days, according to him. I scowled, not wanting to share a room with someone who probably hated me. Oh, who was I kidding? Of course he hated me

He probably heard my thoughts because he turned his head briefly to look at me. I avoided his gaze, not wanting to get ensnared in his deep, beautiful eyes that could easily put me in a trance…

Damn it, I was doing it. Dimitri finally turned back so he could slide the key card into the hotel door of our room. I slipped in silently when he held it open, waiting for me to go first. I tossed my bag down onto the bed, carefully unpacking only the things I would need the most, keeping the rest of my items inside the bag.

I glanced around, only noticing that there was one bed, of course. Dimitri had pulled a bed from the couch. Without looking at me, he said, "I'll sleep here. You can have the bed."

I opened my mouth, wanting to protest, but he beat me to it. The bond revealed to him that I was ready to fight him on that. His head swiveled around to face me, his expression controlled, but anger kindling in his eyes. I cowered away from the hateful gaze, going into the bathroom to change into something to wear for the night.

When I came back out, Dimitri was lounging on his own bed, the TV on. I quietly made my way back to the small bedroom and crawled into bed, feeling empty and alone without Dimitri. I sighed and flipped around, turning off the light and settling for the night.

Whispers and taunting kept running through my head as I was jolted awake by the nightmare. My hair clung to my clammy, sweaty skin and my breathing was irregular. I swallowed as I remembered the last words of the creature in my dream….

"_You are alone. That will get you into some trouble…Trouble with me. You have no friends anymore, dear child, and you are doomed for death. So are the ones you love."_

Again, pictures of seeing the people I loved dead, flashed through my mind. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, tears I hadn't even realized I had been crying. Slowly, I got up and peeked into the other where Dimitri was sound asleep, the lights all turned off.

We were running according to human time, so it was midnight, the sky beyond the curtains dark and black. I shuddered, remembering the darkness and pure evil power radiating off of the creature.

Dimitri stirred, but didn't wake. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him like I used to do when I was little. Yeah, like he would want me in bed with him after all I had done to hurt to him, everything I had done to hurt the ones I love.

I exhaled and padded back to my bed, sitting cross legged on it, face buried in my hands as I wondered how the hell I was supposed to figure out this mess. My head throbbed from overload and I let out a frustrated yell, all the emotions bubbling to the surface.

I tossed a pillow angrily at the wall. That brought Dimitri into the room. The door swung open and Dimitri was there. He wore only a pair of pants. He looked alert, buts slightly tired.

"Rose, what happened?" he demanded.

Tears streamed my face again and I couldn't get a hold of my emotions as they poured out. "Why would you care?" I sniffed bitterly. "I thought you couldn't forgive me. I thought you hated my guts because of what I did. I thought you fucking wouldn't talk to me again!" by now my voice had rose to above a shout, almost screaming.

His expression didn't change. "Don't let the darkness get to you," he said with a dark tone, watching me.

I rubbed my arm across my eyes. "This? This is nothing!" I punched the bed, and was about to punch something else.

That made him come over and kneeling on the bed, he grabbed my arms and pinned my arms onto the bed. "Roza, give it to me. Don't surrender. Fight. You're a strong fighter. You're my fighter. I love you," he whispered.

Did he not understand that I had to hurt someone? Did he not understand how hard it was to fight this? Struggling with the black emotions inside of me, I focused on Dimitri's familiar features, slowly sinking into oblivion…

"_I told you, dear child, that you would regret this," the voice of creature filled my head as he laughed cruelly._

_I grimaced at the pain in my side. "I know that. And I'm not alone. I've got Dimitri with me."_

_The thing scoffed. "With you physically, but emotionally? No, you're alone and you're mine at last!"_

_I shook my head, clutching my side. "No…No…Love conquers all!" I screamed as the pain increased._

_The thing snickered. "Yes, I'm sure it does. That's why you're here," it was being sarcastic._

_I crumpled to my knees, still clutching my side. "Why…What did you do to me?" my voice was starting to fade and so was the life from me._

"_You think Strigoi are your only enemies? Think again! You must drink my demon blood and become like me. You must do it now or you die."_

_I moaned. "No…Can't..."_

_The thing growled. "Yes, you must." It was getting frantic. "No, you must stay with me! You cannot go back!" it howled._

"_Goodbye….Mitri…" I whispered at last._

The world dissolved and I was back in the room with Dimitri. He was cradling me, rocking my motionless body. Adrian, Lissa, and Christian in the room too, all looking anguished. Lissa was sobbing, saying my name.

I heard Adrian talking. "I'll see if I can get into her dream, maybe I can figure out what's going on."

I saw him focus for a moment before he returned, sighing and blinking. "I can't get into her head. Something's purposely keeping me out."

"Rose!" Lissa cried. "Rose, wake up! Please!"

Christian pulled her back as she attempted to heal me. "Lissa, I don't think anymore healing will help…." I saw reality hit all of them as Christian came to a conclusion: "She's dead. She's really gone."

I tried to scream out that I was alive, that I could hear them. "Belikov, do you think you can get into her through the bond?" Dimitri looked hesitant at Adrian's question.

"I'll try."

I felt him in my mind and tried to open up so I could talk to him. _Mitri… _I sighed, using the childhood nickname I had given him.

_My Roza, what happened? _I have never heard him sound so relieved.

_I don't know! I can't wake up! _I wailed.

_Shh, calm down. Focus. Does this have to do with the nightmare you had earlier?_

I gasped. _How did you know?_

He sounded wry as he spoke. _I was pulled into your head. I was going to come check on you, but figured it was nothing…I'm sorry. I should've noticed this sooner._

My lip trembled at the thought of never waking up. _Dimitri…I'm…sorry about everything. About hurting you. Tell the others that I'm really sorry for snapping at them and that I love them._

Now, he was getting mad. _No! Rose, you're not going to die. I won't let you. Focus on me. Focus on Lissa, your brother, and Ivashkov. We all love you Rose in one way or another. Focus on the love and come back to me…_

His voice faded out and I was alone in my head again. Yet, this time I pushed through the barriers and did what Dimitri told me. I made sure I could see the faces of everyone I loved. Especially Dimitri.

Finally, finally, I felt my soul drift back into my body. My eyes fluttered open and Lissa started screaming, until Christian put a hand over her mouth. Dimitri pulled me up into a sitting position and I rubbed my eyes, wiping my arm across my face.

"What happened?" Dimitri demanded worriedly.

"I-I'm not exactly sure, but something's going on. Something wants me to suffer." Soon, the whole situation poured out of me, starting from the Court when I had been having all those dreams and nightmares.

No one knew what to think of this. "Wait, then how come I was blocked from your mind?" Adrian asked.

I shrugged, feeling tired and irritated by all the attention. Dimitri, noticing, stood up and ordered everyone back to their rooms. They all left grudgingly and I was alone with Dimitri once more.

"Are you still mad at me?" I inquired.

He sighed. "How can I be? How can I be mad with you for so long?"

I rolled my eyes and pressed against him. "I'm so sorry about everything. I still love you."

I heard his heartbeat and his breathing as I rested my head against his chest. "I love you."

I hesitated with my next question… "Dimitri…Can we…talk?"

I heard him take in a deep breath. "I suppose we can."

"I already said this, but I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing…I guess, I was just shocked that you would hide that from me and then expect me to understand when you attempted to explain it to me. And then I wasn't thinking when I drank from Adrian and he drank from me….But, it's only blood, it's not like we're really bonded, right?" I looked up.

His expression…it was almost terrifying. His jaw was clenched. "Rose…You and Ivashkov _are _bonded. Different from being a spirit user, but since you both are, that intensifies the bond. Rose, it comes with a physical and emotional connection, much like the one we have—"

I cut him off. "There is a way to break it, I'm positive."

He exhaled. "I don't know for sure. You'll need to talk to a Moroi who went through it already….Preferably Eileen…"

I pressed my palm against his cheek. "You know more than you're letting on. I can tell."

Finally, his brown eyes met my blue ones. "All I know is that there is somewhat a way to break it, but it's a painful process."

My eyes widened and he continued. "You obviously don't know everything, but the emotional connection… The blood drinking from one another binds the both of you. The bond is kind of similar to what we have, but just as strong. The physical one is strong because you already care for him. You'll crave him eventually and that craving won't stop until your needs are satisfied by him."

"Wait, wait, wait…How do you know?"

He continued to look at me and I sighed. "Okay, I get it, guardian secrets; you've been a guardian for a while."

Dimitri looked away. "Rose, do you get what I'm saying? You will want Ivashkov eventually. No matter who else you love, the lust for him will still be there; the desire to be as close to him as possible will not fade unless you break it. You're still young and won't be able to fully control that impulse and sooner or later you guys will hook up." His voice was strained.

Suddenly, I got what he was saying and my jaw just about dropped open when I caught the underlying message about me and Adrian. I gulped and felt immediately worse and immensely guilty for my actions when the message came in loud and clear.

Craving Adrian and being as close to him as possible meant I was not only going to hook up with him in a sense like I used to in the past. No, I would crave him differently, like I craved Dimitri: it meant I would have to sleep with him to ease the desire—as in sex.

**Holy hell what'll happen now? Oh, my God! xD**

**And I wanna give a special shout out to shay. You gave some ideas and suggested that Dimitri should stay mad at Rose. Thanks again!**

**SONGS:**

**Impossible—Shontelle**

**Collide—Howie Day**

**So Far Away—Avenged Sevenfold**

**Scars—Papa Roach**

**On Your Own—Green River Ordinance**

**Today Was A Fairytale—Taylor Swift**

**Undo It—Carried Underwood**

**100 Years—Five For Fighting**

**Consider Me Gone—Reba McIntire **

**You'll Think Of Me—Keith Urban**

**Falling Slowly—Glen Hansard**

**Reflection—Christina Aguilera **


	29. Lusting After Adrian

Dimitri had forgiven me, but it still didn't erase the fact he was being cautious around him, like he didn't want his heart to get broken again. Damn, I was really stupid sometimes. No, I was fucking stupid all the time. Now Dimitri was wary, keeping his distance like he had when Ivan Zeklos died.

Yet, he stayed with me in the room until I calmed down to the point where I could actually get some sleep. The last thing I remembered was his brown eyes and soft Russian laced voice murmuring to me softly in his native tongue.

I cracked open my eyes, blinking and finding that it was still dark. Dimitri was sleeping next to me, head leaning against the wall. My mouth watered at the thought of his blood, but I pushed the thought away and focused on another need.

Adrian. I wanted him suddenly. I looked at Dimitri's sleeping form. Leaning over, I pressed my palms against his face, sending some magic into him that would knock him out for a few hours or until I came back and woke him up.

I wanted to leave, but first I had to test the magic. I took a deep breath and let out a strangled cry, sending terrified feelings through the bond. He stirred but didn't wake. Perfect. Grinning to myself, I pulled off my clothes and put on as little as possible. That only meant underwear and nothing more. Then, I pulled my robe over it and left the room.

I knocked on Adrian's door and he opened it. "Rose?" he asked, bewildered.

"I need you. I need you now," I murmured seductively.

He let me in and I dropped the robe on the floor, turning around, wondering why he wasn't doing anything. "Don't you want me?" I asked, confused.

Lust was in his eyes like mine. "Um, are you sure? Rose, it's only the bond that's causing you to be like this, you know that right? I'm pretty sure Belikov already told you…"

I pouted. "I don't care. I want you. I need you."

Without waiting for his response, I leaped at him and he staggered back from me weight. I forced his mouth on mine open and tangled our tongues together, wanting to be close to him, to feel him, to know I was loved by the guy I lusted for.

Finally, I felt him kiss me back as I took off his shirt, letting it flutter to the ground. I rubbed my hands over his chest and I felt him remove his pants. I hooked my fingers into his boxers and slid it down his legs as he did the same with my underwear.

My hand drifted down south to him and I rubbed my finger teasingly against it. His breath caught and I did it again and again, using my mouth as I leaned down to take him in. I could taste him as he grew harder.

He yanked me back up and forced our lips together. He almost seemed hesitant as I pressed my bare hips against his own, just barely feeling the tip of him at my entrance. I felt thrilled. Was I finally, finally going to lose my virginity after so long? Was I willing to give it to Adrian when I didn't give it to Dimitri?

Dimitri. His name was like ice water on my face and I pulled back violently from Adrian. I shuddered and hugged myself, realizing how close I had been to losing my virginity to the guy I didn't actually love in that way.

"Oh, my God," I breathed out, shaking.

Adrian draped my robe around me. Then, he pulled on his own clothes. "I'm sorry, Rose. I tried to stop you, but then…"

I shook my head. "'S not your fault," I mumbled.

Without another word, he left the room silently. I just sat there on the floor with my flimsy robe covering my naked body. I shuddered again at the thought of being so close. So, so close. Damn lust. Damn body and physical needs.

"Rose?" The soft voice I would know anywhere.

I jumped up and hurled myself into his arms, grabbing him tightly, not wanting to let him go. If he knew what Adrian and I had been doing, he didn't show it. He simply pulled a shirt over me. It was huge, so I suspected it was one of his own. He picked up the robe and led me out.

"Dimitri—"I started.

He shushed me. "Shh. You're fine now. I know it wasn't something you could handle."

A whimper caught in my throat and Dimitri pulled me into the room and onto the floor in front of the couch. "Tishe, moya Roza. Vse v poryadke teperʹ. Vy vse prekrasno, i ya zdesʹ. YA lyublyu tebya vsegda, ne zabyvaĭte ob etom."

I had no clue what he was saying, but it was very comforting. I pushed myself closer to him, mumbling, "Dimitri, I'm ready to break this thing. This…bond. I can't let this happen again. I love you and only you…"

I heard him take in a sharp breath. "Rose, are you sure? The only way we know of is very painful."

I nodded my head against his shoulder. "Yes, I'm positive."

A few calls were made and Dimitri arranged for Eileen and Tasha to come as soon as possible. It took until night, but they arrived at the hotel. Aunt Tasha embraced me tightly, seeing my face and Dimitri started murmuring to Eileen about what had happened.

"Oh, Rose," Tasha whispered, still hugging me. "We'll break it if you want. You deserve to be happy."

Eileen finally came over. "Rose? We need to go to Adrian's suite to get this over with. I just hope that boy hasn't been drinking anything lately," she muttered.

As we stepped out, Eileen looked at my Aunt and Dimitri. "We can't have this many people to witness this. It'll be hard for her, and maybe even embarrassing. It's a long, painful process. I can only take one of you, and the other needs to tell Lissa and Christian what's going on."

I didn't want to choose, so I looked away. I didn't need to, because Aunt Tasha volunteered: "I can stay with the two. Dimka, you go ahead with her."

He shot her a look. "You're positive?"

She shrugged. "Either way, I know you've been a big, big part of her life. I don't mind," she told him softly.

Eileen started walking and I followed her, Dimitri right behind us. His hands massaged my shoulders as Eileen gently banged on the door. "Adrian Ivashkov, open the door."

The door opened and a haggard Adrian appeared. "Ready?" he asked.

We entered the room and I found another separate room. Eileen ordered us around. "Rosemarie, I need you and Belikov in the other bedroom. When you're in there, don't shut the door, but I need you to take off your clothes. Adrian, you must do the same out here."

The rest of what she was saying to him faded as Dimitri pulled me into the other room. He glanced out and then pressed his lips hungrily against mine. I was in no mood for romance, but coming from the guy who constantly pushed me away and never really initiated anything, I wanted it…bad.

I gasped into his mouth and the kiss picked up as his tongue traced my lips. Open mouthed kisses were placed around on my skin and I slid my hands up his shirt. But, before I could try anything, he pulled back, resting one hand on my face before pulling back.

"I love you. It's going to hurt, but I'll be here for you," he promised.

I smiled slightly. I looked around, wondering what I should do. I looked at him. "Do I strip?" I shot him a seductive smile when I said that.

He groaned and looked away. "Now is not the time to seduce me, Roza. And yes, you need to undress."

I shrugged a shoulder and then proceeded with stripping down. Dimitri tried not to stare, but his eyes kept straying back to my naked form. I flushed as I settled down on the bed, my heart pounding out of my chest at the thought of him finally seeing all of me without anything to cover or hide me.

When Eileen came in, though, he made sure to politely away so she wouldn't think he was s perv. She murmured something in a foreign language and I realized it was Romanian.

"Stimate, Doamne, ajuta acest copil tineri pentru a depăşi durerea şi suferinţa a procesului. Ajutor această fată şi băiat pentru a rupe legătura la fel de uşor şi fără durere ca este posibil, aceste tinerii care economisesc angoasa că mulţi au trecut prin!"

She raised her hands and something jolted through me. I cried out in shock and Dimitri grabbed my hand as I squeezed it hard, gasping.

"Dear child, breathe deeply and evenly. As much as you can; it'll help ease the pressure." Eileen's voice floated down to me.

I did as she ordered and I heard her leave and say the same thing to Adrian. I could feel my blood draining away almost and I was scared. I clutched Dimitri's hand tightly in my own, feeling it becoming feeble until I couldn't feel anything.

I panicked, but his soft, Russian laced voice soothed me. "Rose, don't fight it or it'll be worse. I'm here. I love you."

I gasped out, "Is this the beginning."

I saw him nod gravely. "It goes on from here, so be prepared. You're strong. You're a fighter. Remember you can get through this, my Roza."

I drifted off again into oblivion, waiting for the pain, and the hurt to come my way. Waiting so the bond could be broken at last.

**Tishe, moya Roza. Vse v poryadke teperʹ. Vy vse prekrasno, i ya zdesʹ. YA lyublyu tebya vsegda, ne zabyvaĭte ob etom:** _Hush, my Roza. Everything's all right now. You're fine and I'm here. I love you always, don't forget that."_

**Stimate, Doamne, ajuta acest copil tineri pentru a depăşi durerea şi suferinţa a procesului. Ajutor această fată şi băiat pentru a rupe legătura la fel de uşor şi fără durere ca este posibil, aceste tinerii care economisesc angoasa că mulţi au trecut prin! : **_Dear, Lord, help this young child to overcome the pain and suffering of the process. Help this girl and boy to break the bond as easily and painless as possible, sparing these young ones the anguish that many have gone through!_

**I was going to make it longer, but I needa do some other things. XD**

**For those of you who like the first story I wrote (Love Life and Tragedy), when I finish this story, I'll get back to work on that and DPOV's of all the stories I'm writing. Lolzz. Anyways, I'm just excited about this one more right now and it's my main focus. xD **

**SONGS: **

**Waking the Demon—Bullet for My Valentine**

**You're Gonna Go Far Kid—The Offspring**

**Dragula—Rob Zombie**

**Crush—David Archuleta**

**You Run Away—Barenaked Ladies**

**Incomplete—Backstreet Boys**

**Torn In Two—After We Fall**

**Too Late—Dead By Sunrise**

**Stripped-Shiny Toy Guns**


	30. Breaking The Bond

It started at last. I shuddered and Dimitri held my hand tighter as Eileen started murmuring more words. She pressed me down against the bed so I was flat against it. For a moment, I wondered if this was some sick, twisted way to get me feeling so vulnerable.

I immediately chastised myself for that thought. Besides, it was just her and Dimitri who were here. Eileen was an Earth user, but that didn't mean she didn't have any healing properties. I knew that this was going to take quite some time to finish since healing rituals always did.

I turned my seeking gaze to Dimitri's relaxing further when I saw him watching my eyes and not my body. He really was the perfect gentlemen if he was ignoring me lying on the bed, completely vulnerable and naked, and watching only my eyes instead. God, I was lucky/

His expression looked worried, but he smiled slightly when I met his eyes. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and I looked back up at the ceiling.

"Rose, dear, I'm going to help out Adrian for a bit, but I will be back soon." Eileen's voice cut into my reverie.

I nodded slowly and then asked, "Can I get up?"

Her eyes twinkled and she nodded at me and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Groaning, I stretched my arms over my head, Dimitri's eyes following me hungrily. I dropped them and patted the spot beside me, wanting his comfort.

"Please?" I begged when he wouldn't budge.

He finally sighed and got up from the chair he was sitting in and sliding in next to me. "Rose," he breathed into my hair.

I clutched him tighter, only half aware that my naked body pressing against his must be a huge tease for him. I admitted to him something that I would've never before: "Dimitri….I'm scared…"

He crushed me to him. "It's all right to be afraid, moya lyubovʹ. It'll hurt, but you will get through this."

I pressed against him harder, wanting to be close to him as possible. My fingers tangled in his hair as our lips met in a kiss. His lips were rough and nowhere near gentle as he poured his love for me into it. I gripped his shirt and pulled him closer, though how much closer we could get, I didn't know. His hands stayed away from my body, being a gentleman until I guided his hands where I wanted them.

His fingers teased my skin while his teeth nipped my own lips. He moved his mouth down lower and lower until they rested just above my chest. He hesitated there for just a moment, but then moved his mouth over my breast. The feeling was surreal and I arched my back slightly against him, vaguely realizing that he was now almost on top of me.

I groaned softly, feeling more alive than ever. He nipped and my breath caught as he seductively trailed his hands to the insides of my legs. He never went anywhere he thought he shouldn't unless I gave him the okay that he was free to do as he pleased.

"Dimitri, I'm not fragile or anything," I murmured to him.

"You're not a toy, either," he shot back, the words muffled slightly as he kissed my lips and pulled back, repeating the process.

Finally, after teasing me, he caught my lower lip between his, tugging on it briefly and then letting go, kissing me one more time. "Eileen will be back soon, Rose," he whispered against my skin.

I shivered at the feel of his warm breath blowing against my naked skin. He pulled away and his hand reached up to trail my cheek. A knock on the door interrupted us and Dimitri pulled back, getting into a sitting position. I smoothed my hair to make it look like we weren't doing anything, though Eileen wasn't stupid. Still.

"Rosemarie, it's time for the healing of the bond to begin."

The words chilled me to the bone.

"And Dimitri, dear, I need you to step outside the room for a moment."

My eyes widened in alarm. "No! I need him here," I panicked.

Dimitri leaned down and pressed a gentle, soft kiss against my forehead. "I will be back, Rose. Stay strong." He got up and disappeared.

Eileen placed her hands so they hovered over me. "Rose, I need you to focus, which is why it's important I send him out, but he's welcome to come back in once you're under…"

I was tense, but I thought of Dimitri's warm, brown eyes, his silky hair, loving expression. It gave me strength to get through this. Again Eileen began with Romanian words and maybe some blessings, and brought her hands down on top of me, using the full force of being an Earth user to try and heal me.

I cried out in shock and pain as something entered me. I felt the magic flow through me, fighting the bond that tied me to Adrian. Tears fell from my eyes as the magic tied itself into my blood. It was painful, though I wasn't sure why.

Through all the pain, I felt Dimitri come back into the room. His hand pressed my sweaty bangs away from my face and soothed me by breathing Russian into my ear, something he knew would make me feel better, knowing I loved to hear him talk in his native language.

I screamed out as the pain sharpened. Eileen's voice had taken on a chanting tone as she said Romanian words and sentences over and over again. Her hands kept pressing into me, releasing the magic into my body, which in turn was absorbed into my bloodstream.

Suddenly, I remembered something about these rituals. The magic from a spirit user might've made it less painful, but the only one we had was Lissa and she didn't know how to perform rituals like these. My nails clawed at the sheets as another wave of magic hit me like a speeding truck.

Not only that, but the magic actually went into the bloodstream in my body to break the blood bond and drain Adrian's blood from my own blood. It was painful, and that was all I knew.

Dimitri's hand slid into mine and I grasped it gratefully, a sob escaping. I could vaguely hear Adrian's yells and knew that Eileen was done with releasing the magic. Now, we had to wait and see if it actually worked, if it was strong enough to drain Adrian's tie from me and vice versa.

"Rose…Rose…Wake up…"

I moaned. My head hurt and my body hurt. Everything ached and I was confused until I remembered that Eileen had been trying to heal me and break the bond tying me to Adrian so I could be with Dimitri.

My eyes shot open. The room was dark and I could just barely make out Dimitri's profile pressed up against me on the bed. We were no longer in Adrian's suite, but in the suite me and Dimitri were sharing.

I lifted my head and instantly regretted it. Dimitri handed me some water and I realized that my throat was seriously parched. I took the glass and gulped it down, still not feeling quite satisfied. On top of that, my body felt weak and sore from everything it had gone through…

"Rose, you're going to have to drink blood to heal from the ordeal," his soft voice snapped my attention back to him.

I opened my mouth, "Where…Oh…" I was going to have to drink from Dimitri.

He tilted his neck carefully and I shook my head. "I can't do that to you. You're tired enough as it is," I told him sternly.

He shook his head. "Rose you need my blood to completely break your tie to Adrian and the lust that still remains in your system, otherwise the bond might grow strong again. It's your decision, but if you were going to break it for good, then I suggest you start drinking."

There was no room left to fight him and I carefully sat up, lowering my face to his exposed neck. To make it easier, he didn't have a shirt on and I ran my hands up his chest, twining them in his hair before carefully licking the spot and then biting. He flinched, but was silent as I drank from him, filling myself with the hot, sexy taste that was Dimitri.

I pulled away before I could get too into it and drain him too much. I sealed the bite wounds and kissed the spot gently, moving my lips up over his jaw, dangerously close to his lips. I felt stronger now that I had him with me—inside of me.

"I want you. I'm ready this time," I murmured

"Are you sure?" He whispered, turning so his lips brushed mine when he spoke.

"I trust you," I breathed. "I love you, Dimitri, I will always trust you."

His eyes shone happily, but he was slow in heating things up as his lips captured mine. They were silky soft and he teased my skin. It was then I was aware that I was only wrapped up in the sheets, still naked…Was this finally it with the one guy I actually loved?

**Sorry for crappiness, but Im leaving for beach here soon and I sprained my thumb which hurts like hell when I try and bend it…anyways, im not gonna be able to UD until Monday, and this may suck, but at least it's a chapter.**

**I'll see you guys in a couple days! Love ya all!**

**moya lyubovʹ= My love**

**Time For Miracles—Adam Lambert**

**Bring Me To Life—Evanescence **

**Hero—Enrique Iglesias **

**The Time Of My Life—David Cook**

**Tonight The World Dies—Avenged Sevenfold**

**Need You Now-Lady Antebellum **

**Citizen Soldier-3 doors down**

**Let me go-3 doors down**

**Thunder—boys like girls**


	31. Together As One

"Mmm," I groaned when his teeth teasingly pulled on my lower lip.

He continued to kiss my lips teasingly before I pulled away to breathe. He looked into my eyes once more, love filling his features as he wordlessly brought his mouth back down to my neck. I busied myself with his button up shirt, removing it and letting it flutter down to the ground.

He seemed too far away from me and I grabbed the top of his jeans and pulled him to me. He continued to move his lips lower every time and I carefully dragged the zipper of his jeans down, snapping open the button and yanking them off of him. Not moving away from me, he tossed the jeans somewhere, continuing to kiss me.

This moment was too perfect. It was too nice. Someone was going to interrupt us like they always did when Dimitri and I got too close like now. We never had time alone for ourselves and I hated that guardian duties—and the Moroi world—made certain relationships forbidden.

But, no. Nobody interrupted us and I was alone with Dimitri at last. The romance continued and slowly, his boxers somehow were thrown off and we were both entangled in the sheets. I felt the same pulsing desire in my body and the intensity of the kiss picked up.

His hips were dangerously close to mine and I could feel the tip of him at my entrance. I shuddered with delight at feeling him that close. Both of us were stark naked and Dimitri didn't seem to care that I wasn't perfect for him. He murmured over and over how beautiful I was and how much he loved me.

His lips moved over my breasts and down lower and lower, hesitating at my thighs. I pressed his head down onto me, gasping at the erotic feel of his lips on me. Slowly, they moved towards the entrance, barely grazing his teeth and tongue over it.

"Oh," I gasped out when he hit a sensitive spot.

He moved back up so he could kiss me again and when we broke away this time, I decided it was my turn to explore him. My mouth engulfed a nipple and he groaned softly, using his hands to push my face down more onto his chest. I smiled against his skin and nipped him. That really got something out of him.

I slid down the length of his body and hesitated at the bottom, wondering what I should do next. Finally, I wrapped my mouth around him and he groaned again, his hands clutching the sheets tightly. My fangs grazed the sensitive skin and his hips lifted up to my mouth, wanting more pressure.

After exploring one another, we went back to kissing. It was hard to believe he was the one and had been with me almost my whole life and through my journey into teen and adult hood. I felt blissful and amazingly wonderful as he slowly joined our hips together. We were finally one.

Something in me coiled excitedly as I felt all of him at last on my bare skin. We moved together and I reveled in the feeling of being one at last. Everything revolved around Dimitri and I didn't have second thoughts about our relationship…

When I opened my eyes, Dimitri wasn't in sight. Curious, I sat up….and felt immense soreness in my body. I grimaced and fell back against the pillows. After finally having slept together, we had both fallen asleep for a few hours. Now though, I couldn't find him.

Trying to ignore how sore I was, I eased myself out of bed and scanned the room for him. I was still naked and feeling a bit chilly. I saw his shirt lying on the ground by the bed and reached down, slipping it over my head and then getting up.

"Dimitri?" I whispered, fearing that this was all just a dream and that I had really slept with Adrian or something.

"I'm here, Rose," he called back softly.

I spun around and saw him in the doorway, fully dressed in a fresh shirt and jeans. He held two steaming mugs and set them down on the table closest to him as I made my way over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, grateful that it wasn't a dream.

"I thought for sure I was dreaming when you weren't here," I murmured.

He chuckled, his chest vibrating. "No. It was real."

I sighed happily and he pulled me down to the bed. The drinks were momentarily forgotten as he held me close to him, keeping me warm. No words were needed.

My eyes adjusted to the time and I cursed. He raised an eyebrow and I explained, "Lissa wanted to go out shopping for a while for some new clothes and everything since we had to leave so fast."

Dimitri didn't look too happy with that. "Rose—"

"Oh, come on, it's the middle of the day and the Moroi can all stand the sun for a few hours, not to mention we'd be indoors, Comrade."

"Don't call me that. I've told you already." He shook his head in exasperation.

I rolled my eyes. "So, can we?"

"All right, you can shop, but not today. You need some rest after all the excitement and I was just at Lissa's room. She understood."

I gaped at him. "You talked to her without my permission?"

He didn't answer me, instead staring off into space. I leaned around him and snatched the remote, switching the TV on and settling on some kind of reality show. Dimitri handed me my mug which was filled with hot chocolate.

I gulped it down, vaguely tasting something different…. "It's blood. I spiked it with blood."

Startled, I nearly dropped the empty mug, but quick dhampir reflexes allowed Dimitri to catch it swiftly. "Why the hell would it be spike with blood?" And then I got it. It wasn't just any blood; it was his own.

"Well, damn," I muttered, grabbing his wrist and flipping it over.

As expected there was a small cut there. "Okay, now why would you be stupid enough to do that?"

His response was simple. "Because you needed it to keep going since we need to get back on the jet. And because you wouldn't drink from me again even if I told you it was all right."

I scowled, but didn't answer. Good God. I resumed watching my show while Dimitri sipped his coffee in silence. After about ten minutes, I got up to get into my own, fresh clothes.

"When are we leaving?" I called from where I was changing.

"As soon as everyone's up and ready."

Suddenly, I wondered just where it was that the Queen would be shipping us off without anyone but Dimitri and the transportation people knowing. One thing I knew for sure: Once again, Dimitri was hiding something…something important but something that would change us again…

**I'm really sorry it's short and sucky, but I started band camp today (goes on all week) and I think I caught a cold from my brother…I meant to Ud yesterday, but didn't have the time. And as soon as I got home from band camp, I went straight outside to hang out with my buddies.**

**Anyways, FYI, I'm probably not gonna UD as regularly because of band camp which ends late in the afternoon and everything…..So…yeah….Review please?**

**SONGS:**

**One-U2**

**Perfect-Hedley**

**Today Was a Fairytale-Taylor Swift**

**Closer-Ne-Yo**

**Someone's Watching Over Me-Hilary Duff**

**Faithfully-Journey**

**Keep Talking-Pink Floyd**


	32. Flying Back to the Academy

The others were up and ready by the time Dimitri called Tasha and I texted Lissa. We had all the bags we had brought packed up and Dimitri hauled them out to our borrowed car. For once, I didn't ride shot gun and I sat in the very back with Lissa, while Christian and Adrian were in seat in front of us.

"Lissa, what does Dimitri's aura look like to you?" I whispered softly so only she could hear.

She shot me an inquisitive look, but I saw her focus on Dimitri. "I don't know…He looks undecided….But like he wants to say something, but can't…" She seemed slightly confused and I just shook my head, widening my eyes in warning.

She nodded. Silence ensued throughout the car until we reached the airport. The jet was waiting for us, of course. Aunt Tasha went over to talk to the security while everyone else piled out of the car. Lissa and Christian went off to help Aunt Tasha, and Adrian went off probably to have one last smoke before our flight. That left me and Dimitri alone.

"Hey, comrade," I said cheerfully.

He shot me a questioning look before continuing to pull out the bags from the back of the car. "What do you want?" As usual, he cut to the chase.

Originally, I had something formed in my mind about how to approach it since my shields were up so he couldn't get through the bond, but instead I blurted out: "You're hiding something from me. What happened about not keeping secrets from one another?"

A pained expression crossed his face briefly before he composed himself. "What makes you think that?"

My hands went to my hips, my natural attitude taking over. "Well, I assume you don't want me to jump to some wild conclusion like I did the other time, am I right? Of course, if you want to ruin things again, then I suggest you keep hiding what you are."

He sighed, sounding weary. "Rose, I'm not purposely trying to hide these things from you. There are certain things I can't tell you or that have to wait until later. This qualifies as something that must wait until later."

I breathed out heavily. "Can you at least tell me why you won't tell me?"

He shook his head. "Not now. On the plane."

That was all he told me before he shut the trunk and we both walked over to where the jet was fueled and ready to leave. Once on, Dimitri stowed the bags away and then took a seat farthest back. I was confused, but he shook his head when I tried to follow him. I made a face at his back and settled down beside Adrian, who was thankfully sober. For once, my brother and Lissa seemed interested in talking to us instead of each other.

"So, Rose," Adrian said conversationally. "What's up with you and the cradle robber—" my eyes narrowed at him when he said that—" I mean, aren't you going to sit by one another like normal couples?"

I rolled my eyes. "For your information, that's none of your business. Anything that goes on with us is none of your concern," I stated sweetly.

Finally, I gave up on talking to the trio halfway through the flight and sought out Dimitri. He was, of course, in the back reading a book. His eyes flicked up to see who it was, but other than that, didn't acknowledge him as I sat down.

"Hey, comrade, are you going to talk to me?" I complained.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I scowled. "Oh, come on. You know exactly what I want. No, what I need. I need answers, Dimitri. Where are we going? Where are we hiding? And why exactly are we going so far?" The questions poured out.

He turned thoughtful, bookmarking his page and turning to me with a serious expression. "Rose, what I'm about to tell you….You cannot—absolutely not—tell anyone else. This is something that's for everyone's good, no matter how much I don't like it."

I was starting to get impatient. "Okay, okay! Now, get to the point, please."

He sighed. "The Queen gave me instructions on where to go. I can't tell you where because I'm not actually sure myself, but that's beside the point. The thing is, I'm going against her wishes. I'm taking us back to the Academy. I've already talked to Alberta and she agreed to let us stay if we help out. With guardian numbers going down, she wants me to mentor a student, but I suggested that you mentor one of the Moroi girls who want to fight."

It took a moment for everything to sink in, but it did. I gaped at him. "Seriously? I have to work and…mentor….someone?" I questioned.

He nodded, reaching into his coat pocket for something. "The Queen also told me to give this to Lissa, but I think it's best if you read it first…" carefully, he handed the folded up paper to me.

I skimmed it and then set to actually reading what it said:

_Vasilisa,_

_I'm terribly sorry for sending you away and having Guardian Belikov give you this. Yet, it is something I must do for the sake of the Moroi world. Many were opposed to this, but others thought it was a wonderful idea: Vasilisa, you could be future Queen. I was one of the people who liked this, but it isn't the right time with the Strigoi getting in the way, so I must say I'm terribly sorry, but until things calm down, I cannot simply hand over the throne to the last Dragomir….Forgive me, dear Vasilisa._

_Queen Tatiana Ivashkov_

"Oh. My. God," I spat out angrily. "What a fucking bitch! Seriously, 'I cannot simply hand over the throne to the last Dragomir'?" I quoted angrily.

Dimitri watched me warily, already sensing my emotions through the bond. "Rose…"

"God damn it!"

I crossed my arms, slumping in the seat while he plucked the note out of my hands and slipped it back into his coat, taking my hand in his. "Rose…I know you two are close, but you can't tell her anything. If you're with me, then I assume you want her to have the throne next, am I right?"

I nodded stiffly and he continued. "It is cruel, though she has her reasons for this. Trust me when I say I don't like how she worded it anymore than you did, but we're staying at the Academy for a short while until I can arrange something else." He squeezed my hand gently. "Can you hold up for at least a week and mentor one of the Moroi?"

I exhaled. "All right, but really? Where are we going to go after this?"

His eyes danced almost happily. "I will tell you that later when I actually get things arranged. And I think it's time you get some rest."

I started to protest, but he shook his head at me and I rolled my eyes, moving so I could curl up closer to his body. At first, thoughts of the events unfolding before us kept me up, but eventually, Dimitri, sensing my unease, started humming softly in my ear, pulling me closer to him so I would be warm.

Lights were on, but dim, and I could vaguely hear voices. I was moving, but something or someone was holding me. My eyes fluttered closed for another moment…It felt like an eternity before I could finally open my eyes and keep them that way. I was immensely exhausted from everything, but also confused.

My head was pounding everything else throbbing like hell. I stretched and my hands hit a table. Startled, I glanced over and took in my surroundings: I was in a nice room and sleeping on a bed. Blinking, I tried to form a coherent idea as to where I was.

"We're in the guest housing," someone answered.

I started a bit at the sound of his voice, not even noticing he was there. He was sitting on a couch with a laptop, staring at the screen and occasionally typing something in, not looking at me until he felt my eyes on him. "So, you're finally awake."

I stretched some more. "I guess."

He nodded absently and I swung my legs out of bed. I watched him curiously for a moment and then stood, wobbling into the small kitchen area for some water. Thirsty, I gulped it down. I set the glass down and then looked around at the room, which was pretty big.

I made my way over to the couch and to where Dimitri was, sighing as I curled up against him. Softly, he shut the laptop and placed it on the table in front of us. I yawned, though I wasn't tired and he chuckled quietly.

"You just slept through a whole plane ride here. How can you be tired?" He teased.

"I'm not tired. I just…." I bit off what I was about to say, shielding my thoughts quickly.

He groaned, exasperated. "Rose, how many times do you have to do that? I won't be mad at you if you need blood." His brown eyes flashed to my blue ones, penetrating.

I gave in, unable to stand against him. "I don't know how you do this," I muttered, but I complied, moving into a better position so I could drink from him.

He pulled his shirt off so it wouldn't get blood on it and so I could bite near his shoulder instead, not leaving permanent scarring around his neck. I didn't hesitate this time and sunk my fangs into his soft skin. Again, the rich taste enthralled me and I couldn't stop drinking, starving and addicted to him.

As I drank more and more, a sudden rap on the door startled us both and my fangs nicked the skin even more as I pulled away, wiping my mouth. Dimitri looked dazed for a moment, but startled, nonetheless. Oh dear God. I had taken way too much blood from him.

I thrust his shirt at him and he shrugged into it, hiding the bloody bites as he stood up to answer the door. Standing there was Alberta.

"Belikov," she greeted, her eyes flitting to me for a moment. "Do you think Rose is ready to mentor her own student?"

I could sense that Dimitri was struggling hard not to appear like we had just been exchanging blood or whatever. He blinked quickly and I was relieved to find his normal demeanor was back for the time being. "Uh, yes. She's ready."

She nodded and handed him a packet containing information about the Moroi girl I was going to mentor. They chatted for a bit before Dimitri excused himself, saying it was time to get some rest or something. I wasn't really listening.

"Dimitri," I choked out when Alberta was gone. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I took too much blood!"

He shook his head slowly, tossing the packet down on the table and collapsing on the couch. "It's not your fault," He murmured slowly.

I could sense that the bleeding had stopped, but he would feel horrible tomorrow from the blood loss. Right now, the endorphins caused by my saliva was acting like a drug for him, meaning he couldn't feel the blood loss yet, kind of like a drunk person. All I knew is that he'd have a horrible hangover tomorrow.

"Dimitri, you need to take some of my blood," I whispered frantically.

Again with shaking his head. "No, Roza. You need it more than I do."

Frustrated I searched for something sharp as Dimitri closed his eyes. A knife would have to do and I quickly slashed my wrist, knowing that it was like a Strigoi, but not exactly since I was still a Moroi and living.

His eyes were still closed and I crept up to him, opening his mouth and shoving my wrist against his lips. He jumped slightly and attempted to pull my arm away, but at the moment, I was stronger than him because of the endorphins in his system.

He soon settled for taking some of my blood, before pulling away, "Enough, Roza." His voice was husky from exertion.

He leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and I leaned against him, hoping that it would work and fuel him for tomorrow….

**Sorry for late UD, but I had band camp all week and was exhausted when I came home…So yeah, I've gotta go now, but enjoy!**


	33. Meeting Zelda

I felt as if I had a horrible headache almost like a hangover when I finally woke up and climbed out of the bed. Dimitri was still sprawled out on the couch; sound asleep with an arm thrown over his face, his face was finally relaxed. I smiled and tiptoed over to him, pressing my lips against his warm cheek. As I pulled away, he murmured my name and stirred, but didn't wake up like I thought he would.

I was hungry, but for once not for blood. Dimitri's last night had satisfied me enough and I wanted real food now. I rummaged through the miniature kitchen and was satisfied when I found some yogurt and an éclair. I found a coffee machine, but wrinkled my nose, searching for something else to drink. There was nothing else but water and I sighed, finally deciding that I needed the caffeine for what was to come.

I started the coffee and started digging into my food. I had finished my yogurt and was starting on my éclair when I heard Dimitri groan. "Roza?"

He sat up as I walked into the room. "Right here." I handed him part of my éclair. He shook his head and stood up, almost immediately stumbling. I caught and helped him up.

With a startled look, he asked, "Roza, what did you do to me?" Well, at least he didn't sound very mad…yet.

I looked at him sheepishly. "I took too much blood from you and I gave you some of mine because it didn't help that you were already tired…." My voice trailed off as I saw him pondering over something. "Dimitri?"

He finally met my eyes with a shocked look. "Rose….I can feel you. I can hear you…And it's not just the bond…This….This is something more intimate…"

Now that he mentioned it, I realized I could feel and hear him as well. The bond had also expanded over so I could feel him and read his thoughts, though he cloaked them better than I could ever do. I could hear his heart beating, his touch electrifying, as well as feel myself within him.

"Rose, you connected us somehow when you made me take your blood."

The statement astonished me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. You think that you taking my blood and me taking yours connected us kind of like the bond?"

Dimitri shook his head. "No. What I'm saying is that the bond expanded even more intimately between us. And it also spread so you can feel, hear, and do everything else I can with the bond, with me."

This news excited me. I could now eavesdrop on him when I needed to…Hmm. Too late, I realized he caught what I was thinking and was shaking his head. "Don't think you can use them to your advantage," a small smile tilted up the corners of his lips, showing that he wasn't mad at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, we'll see about that."

This time he shot me a rare, full smile, grinning at me. "Why don't we eat and get dressed and then head out to meet Alberta and find out who you're mentoring?"

So, a few hours later, I was in Alberta's office, slumped in a chair with arms crossed while she and Dimitri discussed issues about the person I'd be mentoring. Apparently, she'd give me a run for my money since the Moroi girl had the same attitude I pretty much did, only much worse, which was saying something since I had one hell of a temper.

I learned from reading her file that her name was Esmeralda Zoykova. It was a really pretty name, I had to admit that. It went on to say she never went by her full name (big surprise) and went by Zelda, according to the packet. Interesting how she took her nickname after a video game character…

"Rose." I looked up to find Alberta and Dimitri watching me.

I cleared my head. "Sorry, what?"

Alberta sighed, but was smiling. "I think it's time you meet Esmeralda. She's two years younger than you, which puts her at sixteen. I have to warn you, her temper is much worse than yours."

A chuckle from Dimitri. "How can anyone be worse than Rose? She barely obeys the rules."

I scowled. _Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dimitri._

_Don't worry. You're still my Rose._

I rolled my eyes at that and said out loud. "It's nice to know that you think that. Maybe that's why you're stuck guarding me because I'm pretty sure you would the same way if it wasn't for your 'self control'," I snickered

Alberta laughed and Dimitri sighed. No more was said as we approached the gym. Zelda's schedule was similar to the one I had taken at the Academy at sixteen. A combat class that used to be just for novices was her last class of the day and she was the only Moroi girl who enrolled in this class since it could get pretty violent in there.

There were about ten minutes before class let out and we slipped inside the watch the session. The class consisted of mainly guys, but a few novice girls. Zelda wasn't hard to spot because of her flaming hair and since I had seen her picture on the packet with the information on her.

Her hair was sleek and glossy, tied back while she fought a novice boy. I had to admit, she was pretty good for a Moroi girl. She fought with an intensity I saw in Dimitri, but not as badass. Still, she was a badass Moroi. When she was pinned, she angrily always found a way out before the novice could "stake" her.

The bell rang, which signaled the end of class. Everybody started talking and piled out the door. "Miss Zoykova!" Alberta's voice rang out, causing heads to turn.

People glanced at us and were whispering and I suppressed a sigh, knowing they probably heard about me and Dimitri being bonded and all that. Not to mention, the attacks on Court where we had been living not so long ago.

"What do you want?" a rude, girlish voice interrupted my reverie.

I looked at her for the first time. She was slimly built, but there was a lean complexion to her that said she toned her body well by exercising and all. She had pretty green eyes that were a deep emerald, which is probably how she got her name, as well as her fiery red hair.

Alberta looked at us briefly. "I assume you know you are getting a mentor?"

Zelda rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, get to the point." But then, her eyes fell on us and they widened when she saw Dimitri. "Guardian Belikov?" She shrieked.

I winced, but also didn't like the flirty, adoring tone in her voice, saying she was probably going to try and seduce him. Like hell that would happen. Dimitri just nodded politely like always.

"Guardian Belikov's my mentor?" she frowned. "But that doesn't make sense."

Alberta nodded. "Guardian Belikov will be assisting, but Princess Ozera will be your real mentor."

Zelda studied me and her face turned guarded at the title of "Princess." She probably wasn't a big fan of royals and I wouldn't blame her. But I saw something underlying in her eyes that held something in her past that would explain her behavior these days.

I immediately disregarded it as she spoke. "_Princess _Ozera? What, you go by Royal titles? You sure don't look Royal to me." She fire a few more insults before Alberta sharply cut her off.

I finally spoke up. "I don't like titles. IT's just Rose."

Zelda still didn't seem to care. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I go by Zelda, that's it….However, you can call me anything you want," the last part was said with a flirty smile towards Dimitri.

I groaned internally. _She's much, much worse than me! I mean, I at least have some boundaries!_

Dimitri shot me an amused look. _Well, looks like you'll get a taste of what I go through with you._

_Ha, ha. Very funny._

The doors opened and Kirova walked in. "Guardian Petrov, I caught a couple of novices fighting out on the quad. I assume you want to deal with them?"

Alberta nodded and strode out, while Kirova shot Zelda a stern glance. "I do hope you're being polite to our guests, Miss Zoykova."

Again with the eye roll. "Hmm, what does that mean? I sure as hell don't need another Moroi to train me. But…I wouldn't mind Guardian Belikov mentoring me."

Kirova looked at her wits end with this girl. "All right. I don't care what you think. Rose is mentoring you, and Guardian Belikov will be around to assist. I expect you on good behavior for once in your life. Used to be such a nice girl."

She turned to us. "I have things to attend to. So I suspect you two will be all right?"

"We can take care of her," Dimitri cut in before I could fire off something.

She turned and pushed through the doors, leaving the three of us alone. Zelda broke the silence. "Okay, let's get this straight, _Rose," _sneered. "I know my stuff and I know how to wield my magic. You're nothing but a spirit user, so I suggest you back off and let m—"

Dimitri cut her off. "That's enough. You do _not _talk to her like that unless you want to be suspended or even expelled. I suggest you start listening to her and respecting her. She knows more than you think."

I was completely and utterly shocked at him defending me. I could see his eyes blazing, and I shot him a grateful look. _Thanks, Dimitri._

Zelda sniffed. "So you're on her side, are you? Whatever, I can handle things on my own. That's how it's always been."

Something told me she wasn't joking about being on her own, much like I had felt. I wanted to talk to her before we even started training, but I had to break through her barriers. Since she knew I was a spirit user, she had put up strong shields so I couldn't read her. It took me some time, but I eventually broke through them and briefly read her aura before she hid herself again.

Well, I'll be damned. She wasn't a bitch. She was scared. Scared of what, I didn't know since I couldn't get a reading on her. I blinked and I knew Dimitri had seen what I did since I felt him slip into my head as soon as he figured out what I was doing.

We both looked at each other and I knew he was thinking the same thing. "Okay, well, you're not going to be by yourself. Don't you have friends?"

Bad question. Her eyes showed hurt before they flared. "Oh, so now you're butting in on my fucking life? Back off!"

"While she's your instructor now, she has the right to know what goes on in your life."

I felt a chill, remembering those similar words he had said to me once at the Ski Lodge. I shot Dimitri a look that told him to shut up and he obeyed, letting me take control.

"Don't worry about him. I won't purposely try to get every detail out of you. I'm just here to train you. And that being said, be here tomorrow morning and ready to go for training."

She shot me a weird look as she picked up her things and stormed out the door. God, this girl was even worse than me, which was saying something. All I knew is that it would be a bitch to earn her trust and figure out what went wrong in her life that made her the bitch she was today.

**Phew. Well, there's a nice long chapter for you guys. I was on a roll when I got to Zelda and all. Hee hee, poor Rose, Zelda's trying to hit on her man….**

**REVIEWS! I WANT LOTS! xD**

**SONGS:**

**Lost track**


	34. Reliving Zelda's Past

**BTW, If you want the full force of emotions of this chapter, I suggest you listen to The Little Girl by John Michael Montgomery. ^^**

It was early morning for us, the sun was barely setting over the horizon as me and Dimitri made our way to the gym for the training session. It was cold out, though it was still sort of summer. I had forgotten my coat and I rubbed my hands over my arms, attempting to create some kind of friction to keep me warm from the bitingly chilly wind that blew. My breath fanned out in front of me and I grinned to myself stupidly as I blew out once more enjoying the way it fogged out and then disappeared.

We were out of sight of the Academy, and Dimitri wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him to keep me warm. My eyes lowered sleepily as reveled in the way his body was constantly warm and how I fit perfectly against him. I sighed when the gym finally came into view, meaning that it was time for me to let go of Dimitri. I didn't want to; all I wanted to do was spend a day in bed with him, just the two of us alone…

"You know that can't happen with everything that's going on," Dimitri murmured in a hushed voice.

I sighed again. "I know, but a girl can dream, right?"

A smile lifted the corner of his lips before it disappeared and he became the tough love mentor and badass Russian God guardian Dimitri Belikov. We entered the gym doors and surprise, surprise; Zelda wasn't there yet. I let out a frustrated growl when I realized that she was probably being the bitch she was now days.

"Where the hell is she?" I exclaimed.

Dimitri shrugged. "Give her a chance, my Rose. I'm sure she'll show up."

I shook my head in exasperation. "I swear to God, if she does this all the time, then—"

"Don't have a fucking cow, I'm right here," Zelda said.

She had her bag with her and let it slide to the floor with a thump. "It's not like I'm going to actually come on time. What fun is that?" she snorted. "All right, mentor of mine; what do you want me to do now?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "Maybe you could start by going outside to the track and running me some laps, sweetie," I said in an innocent voice.

Her eyes narrowed at me, but she obeyed and jogged outside. I blew out a breath as I went over and sat in front of the chair Dimitri was sitting in, leaning against his legs. "This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be," I complained to him.

"Maybe you should consider what she's been through before judging her."

I twisted around and looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

He glanced away, not meeting my eyes for a moment, before they returned. "There's a reason why the packet you were given, didn't have information about a tragedy that happened not so long ago…It was…gruesome."

I regarded him curiously. "Gruesome how?"

Dimitri sighed. "Zelda used to be a quiet girl, nice. People liked her, but she never really had any friends. She was constantly beaten up by her Moroi father and her mother never did anything that showed she cared for her. Supposedly, Zelda was a pregnancy that wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. Her mother did the basics and took care of her, but never took the time to coddle her.

"She also pretended not to notice the beatings that happened with her father. No one knew until her death, but she was a heavy drinker after Zelda was born and old enough to take care of herself. Zelda's mother finally reached the point where she couldn't take all the pressure and beatings, and took a gun, shooting herself right in front of Zelda's eyes.

"It was suicide, but her parents were deeply in love and her father literally went insane when he found out his wife killed herself because of the pressures of raising a child. From then on, he cursed his daughter and constantly did everything out of his way to make her miserable until she came to live at the Academy.

"Then, one summer, when she was flown home to visit her father to see if she could make amends, she found no one at home. Waiting for her were several Strigoi…and her father was one of them. But, it doesn't stop there. Her father and the Strigoi did their best to tear her apart before someone finally notified the guardians that something was wrong.

Before they got there, her body was severely damaged and she was scarred for life, emotionally and physically."

It was the longest thing I had heard Dimitri say, but I was too busy to tease him about it, letting it all sink in. My eyes widened when I realized the situation was almost similar to my own, except my parents had loved me. Tears stung my eyes.

"How horrible," I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

Dimitri gently wiped it away. "It is, and I know you know it's almost like yours. But there is a difference and you must understand that."

I nodded, wiping my arm across my face. I felt like sobbing, but I had a job to do. As I composed myself, Zelda sauntered in with her usually, flirty smile at Dimitri and scowl at me. I stood up and led her over to the wall where a bar was set.

"Okay, now you need to stretch. Just lift your legs up. Then move over to the weights and lift those for a while. After that, you're finished for the day." I figured I should cut the session short for today since I needed time to think.

_Roza, remember. She keeps her past hidden unless she confesses it to you. Don't pity her. Be her instructor only._

_Got it, Comrade._

I allowed the shields to drop as I used the full force of my powers to get a reading on her somehow. I envied her beauty, but I realized I now pitied her just a little after hearing her story from Dimitri. It was the most horrible thing a kid could go through and it shocked me at how sick and twisted people could be whether human, dhampir, Moroi, Strigoi, etc.

No more words were exchanged as Zelda finished up and then left with a haughty expression on her face. Watching her made me realize just how lucky I was to have the people I did in my life while she was alone. I turned and buried my face in Dimitri's chest while his arms wound around me to hold me tight. Tears trickled slowly down my face and he was silent as he pulled my face up to wipe them away.

Slowly, with a cautious look around, Dimitri lowered his lips to mine, kissing me gently to show me how much he loved me, how lucky we both were. His kiss burned on my lips as he pulled away to embrace me tightly once more.

"She's tough like you, Roza. You'll be able to find a way to somehow break through to her and communicate to her."

His words gave me strength and I looked him in the eye. "I love you," I breathed.

He smiled softly. "AS I love you."

He let go of my hand and we walked out into the darkness. Finally, I could go back to our guest house and relax for a while. I lounged on the couch, my legs on Dimitri's lap while he watched some show on TV. It was perfect and I wanted it to last.

Too bad that we were interrupted. Several thumps on the door made me jump while Dimitri immediately switched the TV off and reached the door. When he opened it, Iw as shocked to find Alberta and Zelda at the door. Alberta looked at her wits end and Zelda…well, she looked defiant as ever…

**I want to make it longer! But I can't! My brother is bugging me about taking a shower because he's goin' to bed and blah blah blah! xP**


	35. Unexpected Surprise

Dimitri recovered before I did. Figures. "Alberta," he greeted.

She nodded back and pushed Zelda forward. "Miss Zoykova here has been getting into trouble. She's Rose's responsibility now and she must deal with her." She sounded frustrated.

"What did she do?" Dimitri questioned.

Alberta didn't look happy. "She's done this numerous times, but nobody can control her. She decided to go after a Royal Moroi and even went as far as to compel some of the novices to fight her or help her out." She sighed. "Maybe Rose can do something."

After a few more words were exchanged between the two guardians, I snatched Zelda's arm and pulled her into the room, going over to the closet and shutting the door. IT wasn't very big, but it was enough for us to fight one another. It creaked as I opened it and grabbed the key so Dimitri couldn't get in. Then, I locked the door, while Zelda was giving me a confused, weird look. Finally, I turned to her.

"Okay, now's your chance. Fight me," I challenged.

Her lip curled in disgust. "You? _Princess Rose? _I don't want—"

Her words were cut short as I slammed my fist into her gut. She let out a shocked sound and keeled over for a moment. I glared at her: "Come on, get up and fight like a real Moroi." I reached out and my fist grazed her lips, cutting it. She blocked it before I could do anything more and twisted it. I knew this trick and tried hard to imagine I was almost fighting Dimitri again.

Carefully, I twisted my body underneath and now had her arm pinned against her back. I smiled grimly when she struggled profusely, letting out a stream of profanities. Vaguely, I heard Dimitri's voice and him banging on the door.

"Rose! Open the damn door," he shouted.

I was surprised to hear him swear in English, that for a moment, Zelda caught me off guard and broke free. I heard him attempt to open the door, uttering curses and swearing in Russian. But, I didn't take the time to call back at him because Zelda was coming at me angrily, almost reminding me of well….me. Like when I was sometimes under the darkness when Dimitri wasn't there to take it from me.

_Focus, _I reminded myself. I feinted and she fell for it, meaning I would have her pinned in no time. I heard Zelda curse when she realized that it was a trick and that I now had her pinned on the floor. We were breathing heavily, our breaths echoing in the small closet. I got up, only to be yanked down again, as I forgot to stake her.

I growled with impatience and brought my elbow around so I could hit her and get my arm free. Just as we were rolling around on the ground—fighting over who pinned who—the door swung open, revealing an angry Dimitri. Oh, shit. Time ran out and I knew I had to get control before Dimitri thought otherwise. I rolled over and made a stake with my hand, pretending to stake her. IT worked although her emerald eyes still glowed with anger.

"Rose, get off the floor now." Dimitri sounded close to losing it and I immediately stood up.

He turned to Zelda. "You can come with me."

Without another word, he turned and left. To anyone else he seemed mad and hostile, but the bond we now shared told me that he was worried and frustrated with the both of us. I blew out a shaky breath as Zelda shot me a wide eyed look. I simply shrugged and motioned for her to go on and follow Dimitri before he actually got pissed off even more than he was. Zelda was smart and wasted no time in getting up and leaving.

I took a moment to compose myself and stepped out. Both guardian and Moroi weren't in the room and I sighed loudly, flopping down onto the couch to watch some TV. I guess I fell asleep some time after because the next thing I knew, the room was dark and my head was in his lap while he stroked my hair gently, running his fingers through the long waves. He knew I was awake, but didn't say anything while I sighed in content and turned my face into him, breathing in his aftershave.

I yawned and finally opened my eyes, blinking several times. I flipped back and then sat up. I had been curled up underneath a blanket and he had taken off my grimy clothes and tossed them somewhere else. The blanket whispered against my naked skin, but I didn't have to worry about anything since he's seen me before many times…

"Mm, where's Zelda?" I finally asked.

He answered immediately: "I escorted her to her room. I think you both need the day off from practices tonight, my Rose."

My heart swelled when he called me his and he chuckled. "Don't get use to it," he teased, his fingers still running through my hair.

"Then don't call me that," I retorted playfully.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Then how will you know you have my heart forever?" he leaned down as he said this, lips dangerously close to my ear.

"Three simple words," I reminded him.

A smile played with his lips. "I love pie?" he burst out laughing and I groaned.

"I still can't believe you remember that!" I moaned.

Back one day in the summer when I was visiting Aunt Tasha at her house like always, Dimitri had swung by and I had asked him to teach me to say "I love you" in Russian. I succeeded in the "I love…" part, but ended up saying "pie" instead of "you". It was embarrassing enough at the time, even more now that he still remembered that day.

I couldn't help but grin at him. "Hey, you still refuse to teach me Russian, especially the swearing; I can't help it if I couldn't get it right!"

His eyes were twinkling as he watched me fondly. "There is a reason I won't teach you," he murmured.

I reached up and just pressed my lips to his when someone knocked on the door. We both pulled away with a groan as Dimitri threw his side of the blanket off of him and strode to the door. I didn't dare get up, seeing as I was lacking some clothes. But, my hearing picked up enough to know it was another guardian requesting that we were to attend a meeting in the guardian conference room right away.

Dimitri came back, a worried look on his face. "Rose, you need to get dressed now. There was another attack on the Court and there's word that the Strigoi are targeting here next."

My eyes widened. "Another?" I exclaimed.

He nodded gravely. "Yes. If you want details, hurry up and get dressed and we need to head down to the conference room."

I threw the only cover over my body off, trying not to get distracted by the feelings trickling in through the bond from him… "You know, Comrade, we could always skip the meeting." I snuck a look at him. I could see him trying to get a hold of his self control and I smiled to myself.

"And what else would we do?" he sounded almost out of breath.

"Oh, I have plenty of ideas."

I could just hear him rolling his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure you do. But, this meeting is important, so hurry up."

I made a face at him, pulling out some formal clothing while he did the same.

So, that was how we ended up walking through the bitingly cold wind. Dimitri had on his guardian wear—dark clothes—but handed me his duster, draping it carefully over my shoulders. It had taken me a few tries to get the outfit right and appropriate enough for me to go into a guardian meeting. An actual guardian meeting. It was kind of weird that I was a Moroi and yet they sort of considered me important enough to attend. Well, at least Dimitri thought so.

Before entering, Dimitri took the duster from my shoulders and slipped it over his arm. The meeting hadn't yet started, but people looked flustered and there were a good amount of school guardians milling around, wearing special ear pieces like the FBI did in the shows I watched.

Alberta was talking to Stan and a couple more of the school guardians. She looked worried, but then again, who wouldn't be when the lives of many were in danger. As I scanned the room, I realized that I was the only Moroi present. Startled, I turned to Dimitri, who was watching the stage where Alberta and the others were talking. Of course, the bond tipped him off what I was going to ask and he answered me without hesitation.

"I brought you here because you deserve to know what's going on. You're also mentoring a student like some of the guardians would do."

"Yeah, but would Alberta allow it?"

"She already has."

I slumped in my seat, crossing my arms, until Alberta started speaking: "All right. We all know the Court has been attacked numerous times by Strigoi. It turns out Dashkov—before he was arrested—had some connections and followers. Supposedly some of them are Moroi and dhampirs alike, working alongside with the Strigoi.

There's no telling what they really want with us except what the Strigoi have always wanted to do. It's believed that the Strigoi want to kill the Moroi and their guardians for power, immortality, and even as trophies—trophies of who can kill off a Royal line the fastest."

I was shocked at the newfound knowledge, but paid attention when other guardians started asking questions. Dimitri was quiet, thoughtful. I could barely make out what he was thinking. Suddenly, something hit me and I tugged on his sleeve, making him tilt his head toward me so I could whisper, "Dimitri, Eileen. We can get information from her!" It was a great idea, and it would probably help clear some of the discrimination that followed her and even my brother and aunt.

He nodded slowly and then straightened, waiting for a break before speaking. The topic had moved slightly to witnesses and people who would be willing to fight. They needed more information and I also realized Aunt Tasha would be a good addition to help us fight the bad guys. I glanced at Dimitri who looked at me briefly.

_Why don't you say anything? _I wondered.

_Just wait. You'll see._

I grumbled something back, but then fell silent, waiting. Finally, finally, after waiting for a break, Dimitri spoke, "Tasha Ozera and Eileen Dashkov might be able to help us." IT was a simple statement, but murmurs ran through the guardians until Alberta held up her hand for silence.

"And how do you suppose they could?" Alberta questioned.

I slumped lower in my seat. Great, she was questioning us. It looked like another a good idea gone to waste. _Roza, it's her job to interrogate us. It doesn't mean she isn't considering the idea._

I jumped slightly when his voice entered my head. _Yeah, but… _The protest dried on my lips when he started talking again: "Tasha Ozera can get Moroi together. Moroi who want to help fight. Eileen Dashkov might have some idea as to what her husband was up to and where he was going with all this."

Alberta nodded slowly. "It sounds like a good idea." She glanced around at the guardians, her gaze settling briefly on me. "Does anyone have any other ideas? Any objections?"

No one said anything and I was pretty happy with how my plan worked out. People started to get up and me and Dimitri followed. I was about to turn out the door, but he shook his head and motioned for me to come with him. I walked behind him as he approached a doorway. Alberta was inside talking with Stan and another guardian named Chase. She looked up as we entered.

"Ah, Dimitri and Rose." She greeted us and Stan and Chase soon left us alone.

"Alberta, is there something you want?" From someone else, it could've sounded haughty, but from him it sounded curious.

She nodded. "Yes, actually. We recently learned that a Moroi home was attacked. The Zeklos' who lived there were all found dead, except for one." As she said this, she moved aside, revealing a little girl who looked about three or four. "I know it's a lot to ask since Rose is already mentoring Zelda, but no one else has time to watch this little one."

I felt slight surprise from Dimitri, but also fondness for the pretty little girl. "I think we can handle it. What's her name?"

Alberta sighed. "This is Ella. Her parents were killed, but she miraculously survived. She's orphaned and things are too busy to find a place to keep her, or even someone to look after her."

I found my voice. "How old is she?" I asked softly.

"She's three."

Holy shit! She was pretty young. Her big blue eyes reminded me of Jesse Zeklos's. I shuddered at that. Ella looked intelligent, though very young. I realized suddenly, that if Dimitri and I took care of her, it would be like having our own kid. It would give me a taste of life were I to get pregnant somehow…

**Soez. This is nice and long. I meant to UD the last couple days, but I got lazy and then I got busy. XD Typical of me. Anywayz, what do you think of Dimitri and Rose having a kid to care for? On top of mentoring Zelda? Bet, you didn't see that coming! XD**

**SONGS:**

**Collide-Howie Day**

**Keep Holding On-Avril Lavigne**

**Love The Way You Lie-Eminem ft. Rhianna**

**Don't Stop Believin'-Journey **

**Gunpowder And Lead-Miranda Lambert**

**White Flag-Dido **

**Iris-Goo Goo Dolls**

**Someone's Watching Over Me-Hilary Duff**


	36. Typical Day With A Twist

Ella was shy and quiet. She was attached to me and usually hid behind me whenever Dimitri was around, shyly peeking out from around my legs. Her small fingers clutched my pajama pants as I stood in the kitchen, lips pursed as I tried to figure out what to eat. Dimitri was in the other room watching TV and still in sight, which was why Ella was hiding behind me. She never called me "mom" which was a relief, but called me by my name.

She was a gorgeous girl, and would be beautiful when she grew up. Dark blue eyes and coffee/caramel hair added to it. Her hair was dark and coffee colored, but it looked like someone had placed caramel swirls in her hair, highlighting it beautifully. Her face was round and had a slight heart shape to it. Her hair framed it perfectly and fell in long, gentle curls down her back.

It had been two exhausting weeks since that meeting. Ella had settled in with us nicely and I had resumed my day to day job of mentoring Zelda. Between taking care of Ella and mentoring Zelda, I hadn't really had much time to myself or with anyone else. Lissa came by once in a while and Ella had grown to love Lissa, whom she called "Issa". Things were settling down slightly, although everyone was still on high alert for attackers.

"Dimitri, there's nothing here to eat," I whined as I shut the fridge.

Ella tugged on my clothes and I automatically leaned down to pull her up into my arms. Dimitri turned to look at me, amusement in his eyes. "If there was nothing to eat, that would mean there would be no food in the house, my Rose."I huffed and rolled my eyes at that, finally deciding on some leftover sandwiches.

There was a knock on the door just as I took a bite and I sighed, knowing Zelda got into some kind of trouble. I walked over to the door, not caring that Ella was still on my hip. A novice, who looked like a senior looked sheepish as he said, "Princess Ozera, um—"

"It's Rose. Not Princess or anything. And I know, I'm coming." He gave me a nod and then headed back the opposite way.

I shut the door and found Dimitri still sitting on the couch, but his attention focused on me as usual. Soon, his eyes flickered back to the TV as I walked over with Ella. "Elle, I'm going to leave you with Dimitri. I need to go work, okay?" When she nodded, I gently lowered her and Dimitri opened his arms, welcoming her.

I didn't stay to see how it went because I needed to deal with Zelda. Even as a Moroi, I was being treated almost like I was one of the guardians more or less. It was a pretty cool feeling knowing I at least belonged somewhere if not back at the Court or anything. Moroi were hardly ever treated like dhampirs because of our structure and build that didn't allow us to fight much. Yet, with our magic, we could help distract Strigoi, efficiently allowing the guardians to do their job.

"NO!" a scream worked its way to me.

I almost let out a yelp, my heart in my throat as I recognized Zelda's voice. She was crying and screaming and as I approached the quad, I could see her hunched over, shoulders shaking. Wide eyed, I hurried over, seeing several guardians, Alberta, and Kirova around her. Kirova and Alberta were both talking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

"No…NO. NO!" The last "no" was a wail of agony and it broke my heart to hear so much pain coming from someone so young.

Headmistress Kirova approached me and I looked at her. "What's wrong with Zelda?" I asked.

She sighed. "Someone told her something she wasn't supposed to know about the killing of her twin."

I was taken back. "Wait, did you just say _twin?" _I asked in disbelief; Dimitri hadn't told me that.

She nodded. "Yes. Her sister. She was sent to another institute where she could be taken care of mentally and then transferred back here. Apparently, her sister's condition deteriorated and she passed away a few weeks ago. How the students know, I don't know." She shook her head.

I blinked, looking at Zelda. She wasn't informed by the staff that her other half—her twin—died, yet she found out by a student? Jesus Christ, that was seriously messed up. "Okay, who told her?"

Kirova's mouth was drawn into a thin line, words short and clipped as she spoke. "Dane Zeklos."

I snorted. A Zeklos. Figured. But…Ella was a Zeklos and she was sweet as anything. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and told Kirova I'd deal with Zelda myself. Alberta stayed while the other guardians left and Kirova went back to her office.

"Zelda?" I said softly.

I heard her sniff and gather her voice before saying, "Fuck you. I hate you all. Go away!" She screamed again and again.

I moved closer and signaled to Alberta that we needed to be left alone. She tilted her head and then turned, disappearing. I turned back to Zelda who was still sobbing uncontrollably. Getting to my feet, I said, "Get up."

She lifted her face, giving me a full view of smeared make up and red, puffy eyes. "Why?" she sneered. "You're just like all the rest of them. Pick on a non Royal Moroi. Go ahead, do what they all do."

"Get up and come with me," I snarled.

She looked surprised at my harsh tone, but got up and followed me to the gym. I locked the doors so we wouldn't be interrupted and I motioned for her to just start punching the bag. She didn't hesitate, slipping on the gloves and then beating the hell out of those punching bags. She just kept hitting and hitting. She was covered in sweat and breathing heavily in no time, and by the time she finished taking out her anger and sorrow, she sank to the ground.

"I'm sorry about your sister," I said quietly while she sniffed.

She looked up at me. "Well, you're the first one who even really cares."

"I learned that people who care will actually stick with you no matter what happens. Believe it or not, I used to be a bitch like you until Dimitri came into my life again."

Zelda studied me and then said calmly, "You're involved with him, aren't you?"

"Wh—what?" I stuttered.

She crossed her arms. "Oh, don't act stupid. I can see the way you guys look at each other with goo goo eyes." She rolled her own eyes. "It's actually kinda gross."

I laughed, relieved. "Okay, yeah. I love him…I've known him almost all my life and I just figured that out. IT's sad…"

"Does he love you?" asked Zelda quietly

"Yes, he does."

She sighed. "Well, there go my chances."

She was joking and we both knew it. We burst out laughing and I realized how perfect the moment was for both us. "I think since you're feeling better, that you need to go to your dorm room. You don't have to come to practice tomorrow because I'll be sleeping in and you'll be going to school."

She smiled. "Sure, whatever."

We both got up off the floor where we had been sitting when we were talking. I made sure Zelda escaped peacefully to her dorm and then turned around, trudging to the guest housing. The door was unlocked when I went in and I saw Dimitri playing with Ella, tossing her up in the air and then gently catching while she giggled and squealed.

He didn't notice me until she cried, "Rosie!"

I grinned and hugged Ella when she came up to me. Dimitri was smiling happily and I felt his emotions from the bond we shared. He was filled with joy and happiness and a bit of homesickness.

"Ella, it's time for bed," I told her quietly.

She nodded quickly and left, walking into the room to change into her pajamas. Me and Dimitri were alone in the room, the TV still on. I moved closer to his tall frame and leaned against him, breathing in his scent. His aftershave filled my nose and I closed my eyes, feeling his chest rumble when he asked, "How did things with Zelda go?"

"Things actually went…great. You didn't tell me she had a twin who was mentally ill."

"Some things are meant to stay hidden for a reason."

"She found out about the death a few weeks ago. Dane Zeklos told her about it and she was in literal hysterics when I got there. I let her hang out in the gym and I think we're actually friends now."

"I'm glad," he whispered into my hair.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, using my fingers to take out the tie in his hair as our lips finally met. The electricity that always wrapped around us, returned, making the kiss pick up speed and hunger. It became heady as he titled my head back to deepen the kiss, his lips and tongue knowing exactly what they wanted and were to get it. His tongue slid into my mouth and just as I was about to get carried away, Ella's voice interrupted us.

"Rosie, Dimitri!" her voice carried across to us.

Dimitri kissed me one more time, took a deep breath and then pushed my face back. I groaned softly at the interruption, but followed him into the room where Ella sat expectantly on her little make shift bed. She didn't want to sleep on the bed or on anything; she preferred to sleep on a bunch of blankets on the floor. I still didn't get why she liked it, but if it made her happy, whatever.

"Goodnight, angelochek," Dimitri whispered, kissing her forehead and pulling the covers over her as Ella's eyes closed.

"'Night, Ella," I said, shutting the door behind us.

I felt tired, but I had been so deprived of Dimitri-time that I didn't want to go to sleep.

"_Dimitri-time?" _an amused voice asked.

I looked up at him. "Yup."

He just shook his head. "You really need to get some sleep, my Roza. All this stress isn't good for you, even if you think you can handle it. You're still young and can handle so much."

I sighed. "I don't care. I hardly get a break…"

I felt his feelings shift and curiously, and I carefully tried to pry into his head for once. Though he tried to hide it, it trickled through into my head. I gaped at him in shock. "That soon? Where?"

It was his turn to sigh. "Rose, we can't stay here forever. When things settle down, no doubt the Queen will suspect something when we don't arrive at her intended destination. And as for the where part…We'll take Ella and everyone and head over to Russia. My family will welcome all of you and there's a place for Tasha, your brother, Eileen, and possibly Lissa to stay if the house can't fit all of us."

"Dimitri….I'm scared….I don't want to keep running for the rest of my life…" I opened myself to him, knowing it was time to start trusting him no matter what he did.

"You're right," he stated. "You need to trust me more, Roza. I only hide things from you for a reason and I expect you to understand there are some things I just can't tell you until the right time. Or I can't tell you them at all half the time."

"All right," I relented. "I trust you. I love you, Mitri." Using the childhood nickname made me feel like a little girl again as I curled up against him on the couch, feeling more at home than ever before at the Academy.

**Mm, another UD. Hope you like, but it's a bit slow I think…And slightly suckish…No cliffie for you guys today. XD**

**SONGS:**

**Mockingbird—Rob Thomas**

**Lost track of the rest.**


	37. A Night Away From Life

"Little cousin!" Adrian's voice floated towards me and I groaned.

I had stayed up late watching some movie on TV while Dimitri went off to do God knows what. I had curled up against the couch on the floor, and then stretched out, eventually falling asleep.

I crossed my arms and faced him. His hair was the usual messy style, but his eyes looked haggard. "'Little cousin?'"I quoted.

He grinned and gave me a shrug. "So, what have you been up to?"

I bristled, on alert since he was the great nephew of the Queen. "Nothing much. It's pretty boring." And understatement since there was always something new going on at the Academy and with me mentoring Zelda, not to mention looking after a kid.

He gave me a once over. "Hmm. Seems like you've been up to something…"

I refused to let that get to me. "Sure, I've been hanging with Lissa and everyone."

He sighed. "Let me guess; the cradle robber's with you."

"I've told you not to call him that!" I protested.

"Why not? Suits him."

"_Dimitri _is my guardian. Eileen and Tasha don't have any that came, so he's the only one who's looking out for all us Moroi. It's his job."

His smile faded and his aura changed into uncertainty. "Rose," he started, serious. "My aunt said that she gave Belikov specific instructions on where to go and we haven't gotten word back that you guys have arrived."

"And where exactly is that supposed to be. It's basically the middle of nowhere." Well, I hoped I got it right.

He raked a hand through his hair. "It's a castle in Romania. It's from some kind of ancestor's descent and left it to my aunt since she's Queen."

I shrugged. "Well, you ever think that just maybe we got delayed and had to stop somewhere."

His gaze hardened. "For this long? For three weeks? Rose, you're not telling me something."

Oh, shit. "I'm telling you everything I know."

"Where. Are. You?"

I turned away from him. I closed my eyes and summoned the familiar blackness of my mind. Faintly, it tickled, telling me Dimitri was in my head with me and listening to the conversation. I used his presence to help anchor me back and away from Adrian's dream. I knew I was succeeding when he gave a yelped in surprise. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and met warm, brown ones.

"You heard." It wasn't a question.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah."

I rolled my eyes and then looked around, noticing the empty floor. "Where's Ella? And…how did I get in bed?" I was also stripped of my clothes, and the sheets whispered against my naked skin.

"Ella's watching TV. I was with her until I saw Adrian in your dream." His brow furrowed. "He knows something. He knows we're not at that castle in Romania."

I stretched out my arms. "Mm, it doesn't matter since we're leaving soon, right?"

His features softened as he looked at me, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. He leaned down and his lips just barely touched mine before he pulled back. Ella was crying in the other room and Dimitri left swiftly to find out what was wrong with her. I got up out of bed and slipped into some comfortable clothes. She was still crying when I came out, but hid in the corner while Dimitri comforted her. He was murmuring to her softly while her wails quieted to sniffs.

"It's all right, little angel," he soothed.

He pulled her onto his lap and poked her in her sides where she was ticklish, waiting until she was giggling again before setting her down on the couch and taking the remote for the TV and switching the channel for her. As I approached, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Lissa.

_Rose, I'm coming over to take Ella for you. You need a break._

I smiled slightly. _You don't have to, Liss. She's fine with Dimitri now._

I didn't get a reply, but someone did knock on the door. I sighed, knowing it was Lissa. Dimitri looked up curiously when I finally came into the room and went straight to the door. It was Lissa with my brother. Ella squealed happily when she saw them and climbed off the couch, toddling as fast as her little legs could carry her over to Lissa.

"Lissa!" she cried eagerly.

"Hi, Ella."

Christian laughed. "Looks like she wants to spend the day with us, sis."

I glowered at him. "I'm perfectly fine and can take care of her myself, thank you very much."

Everyone, including Dimitri, laughed at that. _Oh, shut up, _I told Dimitri.

"What are you going to do with her all—"

"Rose!" Lissa interrupted. "Trust me when I say you probably want the day off."

I crossed my arms and opened my mouth when this time, Dimitri cut me off: "It's all right, Rose. Let them take her. You deserve a break today."

I groaned. "Is everyone against me or something?"

"Nope. But, I sure am," Christian teased.

"Get out!" I bellowed.

Both of them were laughing when I ushered them out and shut the door. I yawned and then looked at Dimitri. It was so quiet without Ella around, and it was something I hadn't gotten used to since she had come to stay with us. "Hey, comrade."

He glanced up at me. "Yes?" he looked innocent enough, but the bond told me otherwise.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're up to something. Don't play innocent with me."

He chuckled. "You're right. Go get some clothes on; we're going out for the whole day."

So, that was how we ended up staying at a really nice hotel nearby. I didn't even know things like these existed near the Academy. Apparently—according to Dimitri— Moroi owned this hotel and it ran on a nocturnal schedule like all vampires did. Dimitri had rented a room for the two of us. I was nervous as to what would happen and what was planned. Lissa had obviously known about these plans beforehand, which was why she had volunteered to take Ella for the whole day.

"Rose, Lissa said she left you something on the bed for you to wear," his voice broke me out of my thoughts.

We approached the room and I slid the key card into the slot, opening the door, freezing in my tracks. The room was everything I could want. The carpet was plush and soft. There was a king sized bed with some pillows and a beautiful duvet on it. Candles provided a dim light and the curtains were drawn. Not only was there a huge bedroom, but there was a very big bathroom with a bathtub for like three people almost. Then there was the gift Lissa had left.

I walked over to the bed while Dimitri checked the place out. There was a note on top of it in her handwriting:

_Hey, Rose._

_Remember that one day we went shopping? And remember that store you stopped in with all those flashy outfits I would never wear, yet you would? I got one for you. It's the best one I could possibly find that suits you….Especially since you're with Dimitri…Anyways, I hope you have fun, and be safe_

_Love you, _

_Lissa_

I rolled my eyes and was almost scared to look inside the bag she had packed it in. But, I did so anyway, and was shocked beyond words at what was inside. Quickly, I erased the mental image of it, lest Dimitri gets into my head and sees what Lissa had bought for me.

"What is it, Rose?" he asked curiously.

I shook my head, refusing to blush. "It's nothing; I'm just surprised is all. I…uh, think I'm going to change into something else." I wanted to smack myself. I was Rose; the flirty girl who hooked up with guys my age. Yet, this was Dimitri and he was nowhere near what I had experienced…

Swiftly, I gathered up the bag and clutched it to me, slipping past Dimitri and into the bathroom. I knew why Lissa had packed it: she knew I was probably going to sleep with Dimitri tonight. IT would be the second time, but I wasn't sure if I was exactly ready for this right this moment. I was excited, but nervous. I needed time to process this.

Cautiously, I opened the bag back up and pulled out the outfit. It was very inappropriate for public, something probably strippers wore. It wasn't lingerie, because I wouldn't touch those things, but it was skimpy and slightly see-through. It consisted of a small bra in my size that would fit very snugly on my chest, covering the most private parts, but exposing enough of the skin to make him go crazy with desire.

I took a deep breath and held it out, examining it further. There was fabric that traced down my spine and connected to the bottom of the outfit. My breaths came faster as I inspected the rest of it, realizing the bottom was no better. It covered anything that wasn't meant to be seen, but it exposed just enough skin like the bra did.

The material was light and clingy. I didn't know what fabric it was, but I wasn't ready to wear it in front of Dimitri just yet. I gulped and stuffed it back, trying to get the image out of my mind so Dimitri didn't see it in my head. It was supposed to be a surprise.

I must've been in there long enough because he knocked almost hesitantly. His voice floated to me in my head; he was using the bond to insure our privacy. _Rose, are you all right?_

I didn't answer, kicking the bag somewhere in a corner and then curling up into myself. I wanted to do this, I really did, but was I ready for a commitment so early? And was I seriously in love with him to the point where I could be comfortable wearing the skimpy outfit in front of him?

The door creaked open slightly and he slid in, pulling me up, eyes dark and concerned. This time, he spoke out loud. "Roza, if you're not ready, we don't have to do anything. IT's a lot for you to take in and I just rented the room for a getaway."

It made me feel slightly better. And I hugged him tight. "I need a bath in that thing," I mumbled almost incoherently.

He started untangling himself from me. "Then I'll leave you to it."

I gripped him tighter. "I didn't say I wanted to do it alone," my tone dipped seductively.

He smiled slightly, but said nothing more as we shed our clothes. He had the hot water running and in no time the humungous bathtub was filled with soothing water. He slipped in first and then I got in, positioning myself so I was in his lap, but not facing him.

Both of us were completely naked and it was weird for me…

"Rose…Rose, look at me." His voice was soft, but commanding.

I refused to obey, feeling heat, knowing I was blushing. Finally, he spun me around and lifted my face up with his finger so I could meet his eyes. "We have this room until later tonight. Do you have anything you'd like to do?"

Suddenly, sleeping with Dimitri didn't seem like a bad thing. I grinned, slowly returning to my old self once I got used to the idea of letting someone in so intimately. "I'd like to do lots of things with you. But first, I want to relax and enjoy this thing before we go back."

He looked relieved and I knew he wanted to do the same things with me, but wouldn't push me into anything because of the gentleman he was. I didn't know what to expect the second time around, but what I did expect: driving him wild with desire with the skimpy outfit. IT would be a total tease to him, exposing skin, but revealing nothing until he took it off…

This was going to be one hell of a night and I was ready this time to make it last.

**I'm sorry I haven't UDed, but I got busy. Summer's winding down and I have a week left before it's time to go back to school. Dx not only that, but there are back to school things I have to attend, band gigs before school officially starts, and so many other plans…Jesus…**

**XD Anyways, thanks so much to you who review, I appreciate the comments on how this thing is going. ^^**

**SONGS:**

**My Life Would Suck Without You-Kelly Clarkson**

**Everything-Lifehouse**

**Omg-Usher**

**Happy-Leona Lewis**

**The Truth Beneath The Rose-Within Temptation**


	38. Back To Life

I opened my eyes, feeling better. I had fallen asleep in Dimitri's arms for a short time in the huge bathtub. I twisted carefully and found his head tilted back, eyes closed. They snapped open when I placed my hand on his cheek and he blinked, as if trying to remember something. Obviously, he did and he let out a groan. The feeling of his blood told me he hated that he fell asleep.

"Did I really fall asleep?" he muttered.

I snorted. "Well, I don't know, maybe you did."

"This was supposed to be our day. And I fell asleep."

Suspiciously, our roles had reversed. "Oh, who cares? The night's still young. Come on, you need your sleep too, Guardian Belikov," I teased, splashing water on him.

I shrieked when he dunked my head into the cooled water and I came up gasping between laughter when he finally climbed out, wrapping a towel around his waist and throwing me one. Both of us made sure not to look at one another until covered so we could…do other things later. Besides, I had the skimpy outfit to put on so I could tease him.

"Okay, you get out because I have something I want to show you soon," I said, pushing him out the door.

I barely caught his chuckle as I grabbed the lock and turned it so he couldn't get in. I then snatched the bag with the outfit and attempted to slip into that thing. Let me tell you, it was almost impossible to get into it, it was that clingy. It showed off a lot of skin, more than I expected when I actually had it on. The back dipped down low over my ass and exposed just the top of it.

Uncomfortably, I shifted and pulled at it, trying to cover at least the back. No such luck. The fabric stayed where it was and I sighed, left to face Dimitri. Slowly, I allowed myself to slip into his head, hoping to go unnoticed. As I did, I saw him reading some kind of magazine, as opposed to his usual western novels. As I tried to get a feel of his emotions, he suddenly flipped the magazine onto the table.

_You know I can feel you in me._

I pulled out immediately. _I'm coming out. Close your eyes and don't open them until I say so or I won't show you what I got._

I watched through his eyes to make sure he complied. He did. My heart pounding, I finally came out of the bathroom, trying to tell myself that nothing was out of the ordinary and this was something I should get used to. And besides, Dimitri wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to do.

"You can open your eyes now," my voice was soft and almost hesitant.

He snapped them open and I could literally feel him use every ounce of self control he had not to grab me and make love to me right then and there. His body and soul burned for me, just as mine did.

"You look….stunning," he finally breathed, slowly sitting up.

Dimitri hadn't gotten dressed and the blankets covered the lower half of his body. Clothing wouldn't be an issue for him. Briefly, my eyes dropped back down to my skimpy outfit. The dark red fabric clung to my every curve, something rare among the Moroi. The skin exposed was flawless and smooth, although pale.

"Turn around," said Dimitri with a husky note in his voice; his Russian accent was more evident with his desire.

I spun slowly, letting him savor it. Suddenly, I got that weird feeling of both of us slipping into the other's head. He would be feeling my shyness and nervousness, whereas, I would be feeling how hard he fought for control and the evident excitement he had for me. It was only brief and we returned back to our own bodies.

Now, I straddled him on the bed while his lips came to mine hungrily. It was intense and filled with desire as he traced the edges of the covered part of my outfit with his fingers. I shuddered at his touch, feeling electricity screaming its way through my body. I tilted my head back as his lips traced down my neck and followed the path his fingers just had.

When he reached my chest, he paused for a moment and then kissed some of the bare skin there. My body reacted instantly to his touch and something coiled in the pit of my stomach. He continued down lower, never going too fast, giving me a chance to tell him to stop if it got enough. Of course, I never wanted him to stop; I wanted him to keep going and going like we were the only people in the world.

Slowly, he pulled the fabric, trying to get it off my body, but couldn't find where to unhook it. He let out a sound of frustration, and I couldn't help the grin that spread itself across my face. I reached back and popped the clasp that would release the outfit and leave me completely naked in front of him. I waited in anticipation as Dimitri studied my now naked body with a hungry, but loving expression.

"My Roza," he murmured, pulling me back to his own naked body.

For once, I didn't tease him and vice versa. Slowly, he brought our hips nearer so I could feel his tip touching the entrance. It was a big tease and I let out a breathy groan when he put more pressure on my entrance, but never fully entering me.

"Dimitri," I breathed out.

I heard a slightly chuckle from him. He pressed in further, but then paused. "Rose, if you want me to stop, tell me immediately," he said seriously, looking into my eyes.

I reached up and tangled my fingers into his hair and pulled his head down so I could kiss him. I had already lost my virginity once to him, so I was prepared this time for at least some pain since it was only my second time. As he kissed me, he entered fully—of course after he slipped on the protection. I knew he was trying to distract me from the pain that accompanied by kissing me harder, hungrier. Yet, it didn't stop the fact that it _did _still hurt.

A small gasp of surprise escaped my lips and Dimitri pulled back, stopping everything and staring into my eyes. I nodded when the pain subsided. I should be used to it, but I wasn't. It was kind of embarrassing. It was the second time, I wasn't a virgin, yet I still felt pain.

_Losing your virginity is nothing to be embarrassed about, my Rose. For the first few times, you'll feel pain until your body is accustomed to me. _Dimitri's voice floated into my head and I flushed, knowing he had read my mind.

I played it up with a joke though. _Don't you think it's a little late for Zen lessons, comrade?_

His chest rumbled as he let out a laugh and I smiled happily. For the rest of the night, nothing was rushed, everything was taken slowly. Eventually, I became used to having him within me and my eyes lowered sleepily as he made love to me….

After we were done, both of us simply lay in silence, me listening to his heartbeat. I felt great and blissed out. Everything was going right at the moment and I wanted nothing more than to live a normal life for once and just live it out with Dimitri. Yeah, like that would ever happen. Still, a girl could dream, right?

"Dimitri," I murmured, my words slurred slightly. "When do we have to go back?"

His arms hugged me tighter to his body. "Not for a while."

I mumbled something incoherent, but then fell silent. It felt wonderful to be with him alone with no interruptions for a while. As per usual, something always had to interrupt us. We were in a hotel, but that didn't mean someone couldn't deliver something to our room.

Someone rapped lightly on the door. Me and Dimitri were still entangled in each other and he pulled out gently, slipping into some pants that were lying around. Before he could open the door, I had his shirt over my naked body. I watched as the person at the door handed Dimitri a note and then left. Curious, I made my way over to him.

He looked up. "Get dressed." The earlier, aroused, peacefulness was gone, replaced by his usual guardian mask and grimness.

Confused, I tracked my clothes into the bathroom and slid them on. Dimitri was already picking things up and making the bed. Sensing my approach, he wordlessly handed me my skimpy outfit that I had just barely worn before he had gotten it off, and I packed it away.

When everything was somewhat put back in order, he opened the door and started for the elevator. I followed obediently, not saying a word since I wasn't sure what was going on. We were at one of the top floors, so it was a while before we could get down, the elevator constantly stopping for other Moroi or dhampirs. No one gave us weird looks, and I was glad.

When downstairs, Dimitri rushed through the busy lobby and I just barely kept up with him, wondering where in the hell he was going.

As if reading my mind—which he could—he said, "I'm going to bring the car around. Stay there and don't move."

Without another word, he left. I sighed and sat down on the curb, placing my chin in my palms. IT wasn't long before I felt a presence beside me and I was startled to see… "Zelda?"

She looked sheepish. "Hi, Rose."

I groaned. "What did you do now? Stalking Dimitri?"

She made a face. "No way, I wanted some fun. Hooked up with a guy over here. Escaped the Academy for a little while."

I sighed. "And let me guess: you're out here alone because he ditched you after sleeping with you."

From the expression on her face, I was right. "Well, it's not like I haven't done this bef—"

She slipped up and seemed to realize it. I shook my head. "Oh, good God. Seriously? Hooking up with guys outside the Academy's wards? Zelda, I know from experience it's better to not do this. Please, don't do stupid things just because certain things happened in your life."

Oops, there goes the friendly Zelda I had learned to befriend. "Oh, yeah. I thought maybe you were cooler than the other instructors, but you're still the same old bitch I figured you might be."

That was it. I was already pissed off enough as it was. "You know what? You can just shut up. You're the one being the bitch when I'm trying to give you some advice. I've done the hooking up stuff with guys before and let me tell you, it's worth the wait until you find someone who's worth it like I did."

Zelda looked speechless. Angry and not wanting to deal with her anymore, I got up and walked away from her, forgetting that Dimitri had told me to stay put. Zelda scrambled to her feet, following me as I walked across the street and headed for a quiet corner. Suddenly, I remembered what he had told me, yet I was too mad to really care.

My feelings about the Moroi government was eating me up and combined with my anger for Zelda, plus spirit's darkness, well I wasn't in the greatest mood. Zelda seemed to understand that and didn't say anything, following me. I stomped through puddles, wondering why the hell we couldn't get a fucking break from the guardian and Moroi worlds. My night with Dimitri had been wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I was counting on having more time with him.

I was so lost in thought that I almost didn't hear Zelda's timid, "Rose?"

I glanced over at her and found her eyes glued behind us. I spun around, shocked when I saw who we were facing….

**Sorry, I had to redo this a little bit. I had a block when I stopped it where I had. xD**


	39. Pissed Off Russian

Fear seized me and I watched wide eyed for a moment as the Strigoi moved forward. That snapped me into action. My Moroi body wasn't exactly fit to fight, but with my nature, that wouldn't be a problem. Remembering my trainings with Dimitri, I shoved Zelda behind me. It was a dark alley way, though not a dead end. Zelda started running for it while I blasted the Strigoi with my magic. He deflected it easily.

"What the—"I cursed.

He smiled, showing his fangs as he spoke. "You are mistaken me, little Moroi girl. Blue eyes, ice cold. Hmm, hostile nature…An Ozera Princess," he clasped his hands together, delighted.

Another Strigoi appeared beside him and I sensed another behind me. I spared a glance, shocked when I saw Zelda looking frightened as two Strigoi gripped her arms tightly. Her face was paler than normal. I looked back at the Strigoi who appeared to be the leader.

"My, my, what do we have here?" asked the Strigoi conversationally. I watched him walk over to Zelda and tilt her head up. Resentment showed in her eyes, along with strong hatred. "Why, you're not a Royal, but you're Moroi. How sad I have to get rid of someone as young as you…" he sighed.

I realized that I was now being restrained and I kicked, thrashed, trying to do everything in my power to distract him away from Zelda. "Hey, leave her alone! You fucking bastard!"

He turned and was suddenly right there in front of me. His eyes glinted evilly. "Well, you're a fighter, aren't you? The Ozera's were always the best I though. Too bad it makes it all the more worse when I have to kill the Princess Ozera." His fangs neared my neck and I heard Zelda let out a blood curdling scream.

They had just pierced my skin when a voice rang out—a voice that I would know anywhere: "Let them go. Now."

The leader moved away from me, giving me a clear view of Dimitri, with a stake in his hand. His eyes were blazing angrily. The leader simply snapped his fingers and I was released as his minions went after Dimitri. While he was distracted, the Strigoi started to finish what he had started.

"ROSE NO!" screamed Zelda.

I fought off the endorphins as best as I could. They still filled me, but I refused to let them get the best of me as I landed a punch to the side of his face. I didn't want to fight them off though, they felt so damn good; I didn't have a care in the world. It was so easy to forget the stupid Moroi government and guardian world that I lived in….

I was jerked out of the haze when I realized he was going to either kill, or awaken me. I felt my blood being drained slowly and my eyes started to close. His teeth left my skin and I knew it was time for me to become a Strigoi…..

At first I wasn't aware that the leader had quit drinking from me and had disappeared. Groggily, I sat up, rubbing at my temples, attempting to clear the endorphin haze that clouded my mind. My eyes made out Dimitri with his stake snaking quickly and cleanly into the heart of one of the minions. Another snuck up on him, but he was too good. I closed my eyes briefly and tried to help him as best I could, opening them and using my own eyes to help him see through me.

_Dimitri there are two behind you. One on the left. _I watched as his stake bit into another's heart. I shuddered and spared a glance to Zelda who looked ashen and scared. I crawled over to where she was sitting, almost getting backhanded by the leader as he appeared, snarling. Zelda let out a whimper and Dimitri heard her, his head turning to us briefly before going back and wrestling with more Strigoi.

The leader had just yanked Zelda and I up when one of his minion guys came up to him. "Damian, Belikov's wiping out everyone. Maybe now's a good chance to get these two somewhere else." He gestured to us.

He growled and started hauling us when the Strigoi next to him dropped dead, screaming. He clawed and I saw burn marks. Suddenly, his body lit up on fire and both Zelda and I gasped. The leader—Damian—swore violently and pulled us along faster.

"Stop right there or you get burned as well." Aunt Tasha—thank God!

He snarled and dropped the two of us in a heap as he advanced on Tasha. I watched with an eerie fascination as Dimitri finished staking the others who decided to stick around and fight before sneaking up behind Damian with his stake in hand. I wanted to scream, yell, fight, help, and so many things. But, I also knew that would give everyone's position away. Another look around told me that Hans and the other guardians had arrived, scoping out the place and staking any Strigoi that lingered nearby for some action.

Suddenly, Damian spun around at a ridiculously high speed and knocked Dimitri's stake away. I gasped as I saw them struggling, Dimitri's wrists caught; he was using brute strength and training to keep him alive as Aunt Tasha watched grimly, carefully using her fire magic to control the flames seeping up his body. Any further and it would most likely burn Dimitri's hands as well. That wasn't what happened though. Hans noticed the situation and raced over with his stake to help, shoving it through the back of the Strigoi as Dimitri shoved him away last minute.

The rest of the Strigoi in the area fled quickly, leaving mess and destruction. I saw someone on the phone, probably calling an alchemist.

"Rose are you all right?" it was Aunt Tasha who kneeled beside me.

I nodded. "I'm good," I said weakly.

She turned and looked at Zelda. "What about you?"

She shook her head. "I'm okay too."

We both scrambled to our feet when we saw Dimitri approach, kindling anger evident in his eyes. I wanted to cower away, wanted to hide behind Tasha. Yet, that would be childish. I was at fault here and I had to face him sooner or later.

The set of his jaw told me just how much trouble I was in. His lips were flattened and stretched out into a straight, thin line. He nodded at Tasha and led us all towards one of the SUV's. Aunt Tasha got in and Zelda as well. Dimitri exchanged something brief with my aunt, but I was too out of it to hear it.

I climbed back into the car I had originally ridden in, Dimitri eventually getting in after talking to Hans. The door opened and slammed shut. I kept my mouth closed, not wanting to say anything and possibly piss him off even further. He started the car and we were on our way. Nothing was said for a long while.

"Dimitri?" I asked in a small voice.

He didn't acknowledge me, and I went on nervously. "I know you're mad—"

He turned to me then, guardian mask gone, leaving anger, concern, frustration. "To say I'm mad is an understatement. Rose, I specifically told you to _stay where I left you. _It's dark, there's no sun, and the Strigoi are out. You could've been killed!" he exclaimed.

I cowered into the seat. "Mitri," I tried.

"Don't. You disobeyed me and put someone else at risk."

"It's not my fault she was there!" I shouted suddenly, fuming to the point where tears stung my eyes and the back of my throat. "She was already there when I was waiting for you! She was being a selfish bitch, so I needed to take a walk or something. I didn't know she was following me! I didn't even know where I was going. I'm sorry, okay?"

We had reached the premises of the Royal Court and Dimitri stopped the car. He face me, angry as fucking hell. "Sorry can't fix everything, Rose! I was scared when I found you gone and nowhere near the building. I went back up to the room to see if you went back there for something! It wasn't until too late that I used the bond to finally track you down in that alleyway. Any later and you'd be gone for sure." His voice had risen and I felt the overwhelming urge to burst into tears.

"I screwed up, okay? It happens!"

"Yes, it does happen to someone who's not mature enough to handle things."

My jaw fell open. That was a low blow. He knew it, but turned the car back on and drove into the court. As soon as I could, I leaped out of the car and raced back to our room, ignoring the looks, and ignoring Lissa, who was carrying Ella on her hip outside. I shoved the door open and landed face down on the floor where Ella's makeshift bed was, sobbing quietly.

I ignored everyone and locked the bedroom door. I vaguely heard Lissa and Dimitri talking, but didn't tune in to find out anything. Finally, the babble of voices faded away and the door handled twisted, opening as he came in. He didn't come over and pull me in his arms like he usually did. He didn't try and say anything. He didn't carry me onto the bed.

Yeah, he was pissed. And, yeah, I was in a fucking hell of a lot of trouble.

**I start school tomorrow, so no regular updates like I did before. Awww, well at least you got this, although it's shorter than normal. Sorry!**


	40. The Note

I sighed and rolled over, my head sliding off my pillow. I grimaced when the cold, hard floor met my warm face. I lifted my head back onto my pillow and rolled over to face the ceiling. Dimitri was gone, probably on duty for a little while. The bed was empty and not neatly made like it usually was. The Strigoi attack so close had pushed everyone on edge, especially Dimitri since I was first attacked. It was a week later and the guardians were in full swing, taking extra shifts and posting extra guards. Dimitri was one of them.

I was still sore over the fact that he was still mad, but I wasn't going to apologize for something I shouldn't. Neither of us was going to forgive each other so quickly. Whenever he came home looking weary and just plain exhausted, it almost made me want to forgive him because he was just working hard at keeping everyone safe.

"Like hell I will," I muttered, pushing to my feet.

Ella was still staying with Tasha and occasionally Lissa. I'd been avoiding everyone because I was a coward. With my fight with Dimitri and him calling me immature, it had left me humiliated and stunned. Often, I would find myself waking up in the middle of the night when Dimitri was out on guard, screaming his name, tears rolling down my face. The night mare would involve the note and the consequences if I didn't go:

_Dear Rosemarie,_

_You have the spirit of the Ozera's, escaping me like that. It won't happen again when I see you. When, you ask? It will be very soon, my dear. Very, very soon. If you do not come to the edge of the boundaries by nightfall tomorrow, your precious guardian will be hurt or killed. Your choice. I suggest that if you want no one else to get hurt by your actions, come to me. Someone will be waiting there for you._

_One last thing. That little non royal with you the other night? Bring her or else.  
The more the merrier._

_Regards,_

_Damian_

The door swung open and then shut quietly. He came in, shrugging off his coat, but keeping his boots on. I gulped, knowing the time for my death was nearing. I wanted to throw myself at him and just tell him how much I loved him…yet at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to do that. I couldn't face it.

"Ella's been asking for you." His deep, accented voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I blinked and looked up at him. "What?"

"I was just over there. She's with Tasha. She keeps asking for you."

"I was planning on visiting her later," I mumbled.

He said nothing else as I slipped into the bedroom to grab my clothes. I had just flicked on the light when I felt a hand on my shoulder, firm and controlling. I shrieked and then started swearing out loud. The hand spun me around and I was facing not red, Strigoi eyes, but Dimitri's warm, brown ones.

Concern and worry filled them, though his face was impassive. "Rose, is something wrong?"

"Nothing!" I snapped indignantly.

His brow furrowed—probably trying to check the bond. "You're not telling me something. I can tell."

That pissed me off. "Well, what do you care?" I snapped. "You make it seem as if you don't give a shit anymore."

"I do care—"

"Well you could've fooled me!" I cried out.

I swatted his hand away and stomped out of the room, not caring if I wasn't dressed properly. I had on a T-shirt and shorts. IT was good enough as I raced out of the house and around the borders of campus, leaning against a wall, breathing heavily. I didn't know what had tipped him off, but something in the bond told him something I wasn't aware of.

I closed my eyes and thought of priorities. Ella. Right, I needed to go see Ella. I moved around the buildings and found out where Aunt Tasha and Lissa and all were staying. They were outside, watching Ella roam around and pick up certain objects.

"Rosie!" Ella's high pitched voice carried across to me as the little girl saw me.

She ran over and threw her arms around my neck. "I've been wondering where you were," she told me.

"Of course."

"Dimi said that he would find you for me," she grinned happily.

"Dimi" was her nickname for Dimitri now, apparently.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, yes, he found me." Ella was becoming less shy and more talkative around the people she knew.

Lissa came up to me, worry etched on her face. "Rose, how are things with you guys?" she kept her voice pitched low.

I exhaled. "Not so good."

She didn't press on, but gave me a pointed look. I ignored it and continued to watch as Ella walked around freely, her wavy dark hair pulled into a bobbing ponytail. A pang filled me as I watched her, knowing this was probably my last time I would get to see her…or anyone for that matter…

**I'm really, really sorry this is so much shorter than normal. My excuse is life. xD I've been so exhausted what with school in full swing now, and then foot ball season starting back up, meaning more band gigs and me having to finish my homework before I go. xP And then guy issues, best friend issues, yeah. TOO MUCH GOING ON!**

**Anyways, I felt like I needed to at least post something up for you guys since it's been so freaking long that I've actually updated anything. I'm half asleep and it's not even 9pm. How sad is that? XD**

**Sucky chapter, but I need some feedback here! REVIEW PLEASE!**


	41. The Decision Is Made

The day came and went. Dimitri was working by the time evening fell and I was getting anxious by the second. I had made sure to tell Ella that I loved her and tell Lissa and everyone that if something should happen, then they would swear to take good care of Ella. Eddie, Mason, Ella, Aunt Tasha, Lissa, Christian, Dimitri. _Dimitri. _I let out a sigh, realizing that this was my last night to say anything to him. To bid him goodbye. None of that would happen now.

The clock in the room chimed nine times, telling me it was nine o' clock pm. It was getting darker and as I stared out the window, I realized that I should've been at the boundaries of the campus by now, waiting for Damian. Yet, I couldn't quite bring myself to get up out of the chair, to trudge across the ground and meet my faith. No, I had to fight for what I loved, what I believed in.

"I'm not going," I whispered to no one in particular.

I stood up, knowing I had to prepare for the battle to come. I slipped into some dark, but light clothes that allowed me movement and to conceal any weapons I could find. There was a stake for me, some kitchen knives, but that was it. I was hoping for a gun, but knew Dimitri only had his and would keep it on him no matter what.

I took a deep breath a opened the door. It was as if the whole world was holding its breath. Everyone in Court seemed to anticipate that this was the time the Strigoi would attack. My hands were shaking as I clutched the stake, hoping that my lean Moroi body wouldn't betray me again and allow me to kill Damian and the Strigoi.

Shouting alerted me that Strigoi have officially entered campus. It was time. Night had fallen and I wasn't by the boundaries where Damian had said to meet him. I was doomed to die for sure now.

Red eyes appeared out of nowhere and I briefly saw lights flare up around me in the buildings. _Fire. _Somehow, the Strigoi had caused some fires to start, which would temporarily distract some of the guardians to try and save the Moroi and anyone who was trapped.

Two Strigoi closed in on me. I gripped the stake, knowing that if this didn't work, I could always fall back on my magic. But, the thing was: my magic made me weaker. It took humongous amounts of energy from me.

One of them leaped at me and attempted to back hand me. I didn't have fast reflexes like a dhampir did, and her hand caught me, throwing me across the ground. I landed, my head thudding on the cold, hard ground. I urged myself to get up, to fight for Dimitri and Ella. For everyone else. I slipped across the Court's campus soundlessly and tried to keep watch, using Dimitri's techniques.

I snuck out of the shadows and thought it was clear when a hand clamped on my shoulder. I let out a shriek briefly before a warm hand closed over my mouth. Dimitri's aftershave filled my nose and I relaxed just slightly.

"Will you be quiet if I let you go?" he murmured in my ear.

I nodded slowly and he released me, leaning back on his heels and crossing his arms. One of his hands held his silver stake, and I saw the flash of a gun in his holster as well. I cringed away slightly, recalling his earlier anger at me not too long ago. His control had snapped and I had seen a side of him I never, ever thought I'd see. He must've noticed my expression.

"Rose, I'm not going to yell at you," his tone was softer, but still firm.

I sighed and looked beyond him. "I have to get out there. I have to do my part. This never would've happened if—"I broke off suddenly, close to sharing my secret with him.

He hardly noticed my lapse. "I went back to find you and instead the house is empty." He reached out to me, but I moved away. "Roza, please. Don't do this. Stay with the other Moroi for once. Let the guardians handle this."

My already rising temper plus the stress of all the events shoved me over the edge. "Why? Because I'm immature and I don't know what I'm doing?" Low blow. Well, if he had gone that far, then I could too.

The guardian mask was in place, but his eyes conveyed shock and hurt. Without another word to him, I turned and strode off, satisfied when I heard no one pursuing me. My feet tapped out a rhythm as I ran, breathing heavily. I rounded a corner when I came face to face with a Strigoi. A scream rose in my throat, but I refused to allow it to escape. I was determined to show these undead creatures I wasn't afraid of them.

"Son of a bitch," I growled when I was immediately backhanded me once more.

Without thinking, I thrust my hands out, flames shooting from them. They were brief and only took a small amount of magic. It wasn't controlled, but that didn't matter because the Strigoi didn't have any chance to fight me back. Apparently, this Strigoi wasn't as old as Damian and some of the others I had encountered.

Something wrapped around my throat and I coughed, choking as I struggled for air. With the hand still around my throat, the Strigoi turned my neck around to bite me. I gasped and gave hoarse cries, my Moroi body not fit enough to fight this kind of power like the dhampirs and guardians could. I didn't have all the reflexes they had. I didn't have their brute strength.

The fangs touched my neck before something struck it. He leaned back with a garbled sound and I shoved him away. I swiveled around to find Dimitri standing there, impassive with his stake. I hadn't even felt him through our bond. I didn't even know he knew where I was.

"Thanks," I whispered, not able to get my voice any louder.

He gave me a curt nod and turned back around. It continued like this. I used small amounts of magic and he staked the Strigoi. We were doing perfectly fine until Damian showed up. I was about to burst him into flames, but he grinned wickedly at me.

"You may want to see this, dear child. At least before you decide to kill me." His voice was pleasant like always.

"You bastard. What do you…" My words trailed off as my eyes took in what Damian was talking about. "No…"

Several Strigoi held my family, friends captive. Tasha, Lissa, and Christian…Ella and Zelda as well. My hand flew to my mouth and Damian started talking swiftly and smoothly like nothing was wrong with this picture.

"If you choose to keep fighting me, then your little friends will be gone. If you choose to surrender and come with me like you were supposed to, they will be spared. For now, at least." He cast a bored glance around us.

Dimitri placed his hand on my arm. "Rose, don't do it, he's baiting you."

He was right, but deep down I knew Damian would do almost anything if it meant having someone powerful on his side. I was a spirit using Moroi, and who knew what powers could be carried into my undead life if I was awakened. I gulped as my eyes roamed the faces…the faces I wouldn't see again…The faces I would miss the most…

"All right! Leave them alone and I'll come," my words caught on a sob.

Damian smiled cruelly and snapped his fingers. The Strigoi holding everyone captive released them. Everyone seemed either dazed, or unable to process what was happening. Dimitri rushed forward stake and gun ready when Damian grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me toward him.

"Rose, don't do it!" yelled Dimitri.

He was still coming. I couldn't bear to see him hurt. After all, he would be looking after Ella and Zelda now. And everyone else. My decision was made and I threw my hands out, using the last of my magic. It was a huge burst and it created some kind of wall that didn't let anyone else pass. Dimitri stopped short, face frustrated and angry as he pounded on the wall.

"Rose! _Do not do this!" _he roared.

The wall was barely standing and my strength was fading quickly. "I love you," I whispered before everything turned black and that was the end.

**God, I'm so tired it's not even funny. I'm like half asleep so I barely have any clue what I wrote. xD Just be glad that I actually had some time to type this up.**

**SONGS:**

**Until The End/Evil Angel/Dance With The Devil—Breaking Benjamin**

**Waking the Demon—Bullet For My Valentine**

**Headstrong-Trapt**


	42. AN: I'm sorry!

I hate to do this, but I felt I haven't been on for so long. I'm not even gonna go into detail. Sophomore year's being a total bitch with all the stress and then friendship issues, and boy issues. I probably won't be writing anything for a little while until I'm positive I can sit down and put my heart into my stories.

I'm really, really sorry, and though I vowed I would be one of those people who would do this, but I have to. I've too much to deal with and I felt like I should give you guys a heads up for a little while. Again, I apologize.

Thanks for being so loyal, though, I love you guys!

~~DuskyGurl**


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